Best Pick Up Lines (And Avoid These Cheesy Ones!)

pick up line meme

Are you looking for the best pickup lines?

For smooth pick-up lines that actually work?

You have come to the right place.
This article will tell you everything you need to know about pick-up lines.

And by the end of it, you will know how to use pickup lines to get girls.

man delivers a pick up line to a woman

Best Pick-Up Lines

The 5 best pickup lines are:

  1. Hi, my name is Lucio, what’s your name <— Neutral, assumes attraction 
  2. This cue is infinite, is it always like that? <— Social opener, doesn’t give interest away 
  3. I, couldn’t help but notice X about you, are you always like that <– Personally-relevant comment 
  4. Hi, I liked your X, it looks great on you. My name is Lucio <— Honest compliment, no games 
  5. Hi, I’m gonna be honest. I find your walk very sexy. I wanted to meet you <— Bold and direct, displays masculine confidence

Neutral conversation starters are how you would start a conversation.

The direct and honest style signal that you are approaching her because you like her.

Compliments tell her what you find attractive about her -without joking and without putting her on a pedestal-.

Finally, you can put all your sexual innuendos while actually delivering a neutral line.
That’s the most advanced style.

See Ashton Kutcher doing it:

By the way, there is only one pick up line. Everything else is cheese.

Smooth Pick-Up Lines That Work

Here are the only smooth pick-up lines:

  • (smile at her, say nothing, until she speaks first)
  • Hi (sticks his hand out, palm up and gallant, as if he knew her)
  • Me, you, going on an adventure. Right now

Now you may be wondering:

Why are they so different than most popular pick-up lines?

It’s because the problem with most popular pick-up lines is that they pedestalize women.

You say something like “did you get hurt when you fell from heaven” and you immediately place her above you.

And women don’t like men who are below them.
Women are programmed to like men who are higher value than they are.

So the smoothest pickup lines don’t idealize her, don’t place her above you, and don’t sub-communicate that you’re chasing her bad.

Example

Of coures, pick-up lines may work.

But they must be in the right situations, from the right man, and well-delivered.

Here is a good example:

What makes Sean Connery’s pickup line good?
Well, to begin with, Connery comes across as a very high-quality man. So some cheese can serve to take the edge off.

Furthermore, he does not make it about her.
She mentions the word “pussy”, and he makes it more about sex than about her.

He comes across as a womanizer who loves women, not a guy who is idolizing a specific woman.
Big freaking difference.

Good Canned Approaches

And now let’s go to a few better options here, shall we?

“Excuse me.
I know this is going to sound strange, but if I don’t ask you now, I’ll be kicking myself for the rest of the day. I’m running to meet a friend [i.e., I have friends and am not a stalker], but I think you’re really [extremely, drop-dead] cute [gorgeous, hot]. Could I have your phone number? I’m not a psycho—I promise. You can give me a fake one if you’re not interested

That’s actually the script that Tim Ferris proposes in The 4-Hour Workweek.

It’s a bit reminiscent of the early pick-up scripts, and a few things are very wrong with it:

  • I know this is going to sound strange (the idea is to “pace her reality”, but only communicates you are doing something strange, which is not, and leads her to believe something strange is about to happen)
  • Could I have your number? (asks for permission: bad)
  • You can give me a fake one if you’re not interested (takes the pressure off, yes, but also takes the pressure off from you, which can lead her to think you can’t withstand social pressure. Plus, it’s tentative)

The “kicking myself” bit is very popular around the web:

(…) but I would have kicked myself if I hadn’t come to talk to you

It’s not too bad, but it’s not the best either.
The issue with it is that it’s too self-referencing. It’s too much about yourself.
Are you into her, or are you just talking to her so that you will “feeling bad”?
Ideally, you want to make her feel that the chemistry was so good that you just had to talk to her, and not that you were just avoiding remorse.

‘I just wanted to tell you, I think you are gorgeous and would love to get to know you better. If you want to have a drink and talk, I’ll be over there. If not, that’s fine.

I like this one.
The issue with it is that while it does indeed take the pressure off, it also leaves it fully up to her to make the move.
And few women actually make the move.

Excuse me, but do I know you from somewhere?
‘Wow, I could have sworn I’d seen you in my classes / office. Well, now that I’ve got you here, what would it take for me to be able to take you out sometime?

Not the worst, if you end it well.

In this case, it does not end well though.
Also, I like it most if it’s true that she looks like a known face.
If you were using it as an excuse, then you’re better off with something else.

Bad Pick-Up Lines: 10 Lines To Avoid

Let’s dig some deeper.

We will now take a few pick-up lines and explain what’s so bad about them from a social dynamic perspective:

  • Do I know you? Because you look a lot like my next girlfriend.

Who would pick a girlfriend only based on first looks?

Only a guy with little experience and few options.

High-quality women don’t choose boyfriends based on first looks, and they will be thinking: “do I want to be in a relationship with this guy”?
99% of the time the answer is “no”.

  • Are you religious? Because you’re the answer to all my prayers.

Many pick-up lines follow this format: you are the woman of my dream and now I say it to you in a very corny way.
The problem is all the same: it’s typical of low-quality men to put a woman on a pedestal without even knowing her.
It communicates low standards and that all you care about is superficial appearance.

  • Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?

While you build her up, you are also deprecating yourself. But it’s not the good self-deprecating style of the high-value man.
This style of self-deprecation is more like the dog who wags his tail at any scrap she throws at him.

  • Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?

This style of pick-up line makes fun of you tricking her into doing something sexual with you.

And that’s exactly the issue with it: high-quality men don’t need to trick women into being sexual with them.

  • I’m lost. Can you give me directions to your heart?

The dream of a woman is a man who makes her follow in love in a whirlwind of romance.

And that does not entail her giving instructions.
When women need to give instructions they either lose interest very quickly, they get annoyed very quickly, or, in the best-case scenario, they enter the relationship as a puppet down in power.

Here is an example from “Terms of Endearment”:

Her: “Don’t worship me until I’ve earned it”.
 
What an awesome explanation straight from the horse’s mouth on why pick-up lines don’t work :)
 
Let’s go on:
 
  • Roses are red, violets are blue, I can’t rhyme, but can I date you?
Again, puts the onus on the woman to lead the dating dance.
But the man who dates successfully does not ask for permission.
  • Are you sure you’re not tired? You’ve been running through my mind all day.

Pick-up lines are bad enough.
That stalker pickup line can take it to the next level though.

  • Is there an airport nearby or is it my heart taking off?

This is an example of the pick-up lines implying you’re falling in love.

It’s usually guys with little experience who fall in love very quickly.

They idealize women without even knowing them. But women, like everyone else, prefer people who can appreciate them for who they are, not for non-existing mental masturbation.

  • There’s only one thing I want to change about you, and that’s your last name

Well, I have to admit… This one had me smiling.

Since marriage is becoming so much rarer in Western cities these days, this pickup line is so out of touch reality that it might even work if delivered as tongue-in-cheek.

  • Hi, how was heaven when you left it?

Again, idealization of the woman.

This is a huge burden on women. They want to be women, with their defects and sexuality, and not weighed down by his immature madonna-whore complex.
Don’t idealize people, take them for who they are.

  • Do you believe in love at first sight or should I pass by again?

This one also had me smiling.

But it doesn’t help your case any.
It actually frames your first time as not being good enough. And now she’s the one calling the shots why you’re the one prepping up for your second try?

  • Was your dad a boxer? Because damn, you’re a knockout!

Direct sexual compliments can work great.

But when you express sexual appreciation hiding behind a pick-up line, this is what it actually communicates:  “I don’t really think you’d ever screw me, so I’m just admiring”.

  • Do you have a pencil? Cause I want to erase your past and write our future.

This style is a poor style of being a provider, and while dating as a provider can be an effective dating strategy, fantasizing about her is never is.
“Erasing her past”, again, communicates he is seeking a fantasy, not a real woman with a real life.

  • Are you a dictionary? Cause you’re adding meaning to my life.

Simply terrible.

And a very common reason why pick-up lines do not work: they communicate that without her your life is meaningless.
But women don’t want men who are incomplete without them. They want men with rich lives, who are doing things and going places.

  • Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?

One of the most typical and cheesiest pickup lines.

It’s the archetype pick-up line of putting women on a pedestal.
It’s usually inexperienced men and too-nice guys who put women on a pedestal.
And neither of them fares too well in dating.

pick up lines put women on pedestal

You must be a broom, ‘cause you just swept me off my feet.

It’s the man’s role to sweep her off her feet, not the other way around.
Drop the cheese and grow a set instead :).

You don’t need keys to drive me crazy.

And you don’t need much help to masturbate if you keep using those lines.
And trust me, you’ll train yourself quite a lot of it if by now you still didn’t get why pick-up lines don’t work.

Do Pick-Up Lines Work? What Science Says

Science is clear:

Pick up lines don’t work.
Or, to be more are accurate, are sub-optimal.

Quoting from The APA Handbook on Relationships:

(…) both men and women found the cute–flippant lines to be the least desirable

However, men still miss on this:

However, consistent with hypothesized gender scripts, women rated them as less preferred than men 

And more research confirmed the same:

(…)
Subsequent research, using different methods, has generally been consistent with Kleinke et al.’s (1986) findings (Cunningham & Barbee, 2008; Levine, King, & Popoola, 1994)

However, consistent with what we say here, it doesn’t really matter for high-value men and lover type seeking short-term situations:

research has suggested that the type of relationship desired influences a woman’s evaluation of a man’s opening line. Senko and Fyffe (2010) varied the nature of the relationship being sought by a woman (short vs. long term), the attractiveness of the male, and the opening lines in hypothetical scenarios. Consistent with evolutionary theory, if a long-term relationship was being sought, women preferred the direct or innocuous lines and associated these with intelligence and trustworthiness, but if a short-term relationship was the goal and the man was attractive, women had no preference for type of opening line.

So… 

What does this mean to you?

Learn how to be a power-aware, high-value man.

Some starting articles:

But to any successful, power-aware man, science only confirmed what they already knew.

I scoured the web looking for the best pickup lines.

I paid particular attention to the “pick-up lines that work”.

And… I couldn’t find many that actually work.

Most collections of pickup lines are of the cheesy kind.
And if your goal is to sleep with a girl, or enter into a relationship with her, the cheesy pick-up lines are all terrible.

If you’re not sure what I mean by cheesy pickup lines, this is an example:

Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears!

Even if your goal is to tell a funny pickup line to make her laugh, you can probably do better than that.
Both in terms of an actual introduction and in terms of starting with a laugh.

Indeed the laugh that most girls have is that kind of “oh God, I can’t believe you said anything that cheesy” type of laugh.

Also, people interpret jokes as if there is at least some truth behind them. And the truth behind a pick-up line is not a good one.

Why Cheesy Pick-Up Lines Don’t Work

There are two major reasons why pick-up doesn’t work.

And that’s that when you deliver them, it communicates the following:

  1. You’re not serious about seducing her, you’re just there to joke around
  2. Cheesy pickup lines put her on a pedestal, and communicate that she is out of your league (higher sexual market value than you)

And finally, the vast majority of people -and women- feel that pick-up lines are:

  • A cheesy way of flirting, and an indicator of low social skills

Here is an example from a family guy for you.
Is this the line that anyone who’s serious about getting to know a woman would use?

Exactly.
That’s the line that a kid would use.

SUMMARY

Pick-up lines, especially cheesy pick-up lines, don’t work.

However, some smooth pick-up lines can work well if you deliver them in a funny and self-amusing way that starts the conversation with a big laugh.
However, you must quickly change the dynamic to avoid a frame of you chasing her, and her on the pedestal.

Women do love men who make them laugh, and if you use a pick-up line to do just that, without coming across as cheesy and chasing, then you’re good -and hats off to you, you’re a socially advanced guy-.

To learn what works best, based on science and experience, see Seduction University.

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