Are you looking for a scientific, reliable and free attachment style quiz?
You have come to the right place.
This attachment style quiz will give you an answer to what’s your attachment style like. At the end of it you will have a much better understanding about yourself and about your relationships.
The following attachment style quiz is an adaptation -and simplification- of the work of Fraley, Waller, Breannan. Based on the results it gets for my clients I find it to be highly reliable.
Attachment Style Quiz
The quiz is quick, simple.
Below is a list of statements.
If you don’t agree with the statement, simply move on to the next one.
And if you agree with one of the statements, mark down the respective letter next to the statement (A, B or C).
Answer thinking about you feel towards relationships in general, and not just about your last one.
- I’m scared that if we break up I won’t find anyone else (A)
- I’m uncomfortable when my partner gets too close (C)
- During arguments I tend to say things I later regret (A)
- I don’t question the relationship because of a single argument (B)
- My partner often urges me to be more intimately close (C)
- I worry I am not good looking enough (A)
- I might be seen as boring because I’m rather stable (B)
- I miss my partner, but when we’re together for long I miss my own space (C)
- I’m comfortable speaking up if I disagree with someone (B)
- I don’t like the feeling that someone else depends on me (C)
- I quickly get over jealousy if someone I’m involved in looks at other people (B)
- I am relieved if someone I’m involved with looks at other people because they won’t try to make things too serious (C)
- I get depressed if someone I’m involved with looks at other people (A)
- If someone I’m dating acts cold I wonder what’s happened, but I don’t think it’s about me (B)
- If someone I’m dating acts cold I am indifferent. Sometimes even relieved (C).
- If someone I’m dating acts cold I worry I’ve done something wrong (A)
- If my partner wants to break up I’ll try to show them what they’ll miss (A)
- If my partner of a few months wants to break up I’d be hurt but I’d get over it (B)
- Sometimes in a relationship I get what I want and then I’m not sure about what I want anymore (C)
- I have no problem in platonically staying in touch with an ex (B)
- I don’t create much drama in my relationships (B)
- I often worry my partner might get involved with someone else (A)
- Emotionally supporting my partner is not easy for me (C)
- When I’m single I’m more anxious and “incomplete” (A)
- I bounce back quickly after break ups (C)
- I fear that if someone knows the real me they won’t like me (A)
- It’s easy to be affectionate with my partner (B)
- I often worry my partner will stop loving me (A)
- I’m comfortable with being dependent on my partner (B)
- My independence comes first (C)
- I don’t share my deepest feelings with my partner (C)
- I’m afraid my partner will not return my feelings if I share them (A)
- I’m generally content with my relationships (B)
- I often think about my relationships (A)
- I don’t like being dependent on my romantic partner (C)
- I get attached very quickly (A)
- I express my needs and wants rather easily (B)
- Sometimes I’m angry and annoyed at my partner without a clear reason (C)
- I’m hypersensitive to my partner’s moods (A)
- If you’re honest, most people are also honest and dependable (B)
- I prefer casual sex to sex in committed relationships (C)
- I am comfortable sharing my thoughts and feelings (B)
Attachment Style Test Results
Tally the results.
- More A = Anxious attachment style
- More B = Secure attachment style
- More C = Avoidant attachment style
People with an anxious attachment style have great capacity for emotional intimacy and get attached strongly and quickly.
Relationships take up a lot of their mental cycles and a lot of their energy.
They tend to be more temperamental, more sensitive to their partner moods and, along with the positive feelings of intimacy they experience lots of negative emotions as well, including worrying their partner does not return their feelings.
They can often get carried away and say mean things that they will later regret. As a result, their relationships tend to be mercurial and with lots of up and downs and lots of arguments and make ups.
Anxious people will greatly benefit from a relationship with a secure partner because someone with a secure attachment style will take away many of the worries, anxieties and arguments.
Read more about anxious attachment.
Secure people are the most calm and confident of them all.
They are comfortable with intimacy without being overly worried or jealous. They communicate effectively and they tend to keep an even keel without any major swings of moods or emotions.
Read more about secure attachment.
Contrary to popular belief, avoidants also have the same needs for emotional connections and intimacy, but their brains often shuts down or overturns those needs.
So they end up being torn between the willingness for closeness and the rejection of it. They also have a strong need for keeping their own space on top, which makes for uncomfortable intimacy in the relationship.
That’s why one of the questions was “you miss your partner, but crave your space when you’re together for too long”.
Avoidants often put independence and autonomy before their intimate relationships and they don’t spend much time thinking about their relationships.
These are the “committaphobes” out there.
Read more about the avoidant attachment style and how to spot an avoidant.
What Determines Your Attachment Style
Your attachment style is measured on two different variables:
- Level of comfort (or discomfort) with intimacy and closeness
- Anxiety towards your relationship status and partner’s love
The two usually go together, but a low number of the population (4-5%) are both insecure about their partner’s availability and have high discomfort with intimacy.
Attachment Styles in Relationships
Often, for a number of reasons, avoidants end up with anxious.
These make for the fieriest of relationships with lots of fights and reconciliations and big emotional drama.
If you are an anxious, chances are you are more attracted to avoidants. You must overcome that tendency, because anxious and avoidants together make for very bad relationships.
I highly recommend you read this article to recognize the signs of impending danger:
With this free attachment style quiz you have learned what’s your attachment style.
If it’s the first time you approach this topic you probably learned a lot about your needs, wants and your past relationships. You now also know which type of partner is best for you.
If you’re interested in relationships and developing the best relationship you possibly can, check the relationship guide in the store section. It summarizes all the best research and studies to help you improve your relationship with actionable and science-backed wisdom.