This article is an overview for the relationship category.
It’s a one stop shop with all the information you need to achieve the best relationship ever (or at least the best possible you can have).
Think of this as a compendium, the only one post you need to improve your relationship.
Contents
Why Using This Resource
There’s no lack of quality information when it comes to relationships. As a matter of fact, I’m blown away by how much I’m learning delving into the literature.
There’s however a lack of great information in digestible and usable format. Such as information that is brief, clear and with a focus on practical solutions.
That’s what I want to address with my work.
How to Achieve The Best Relationship Ever
The aim of this article is to give you a quick overview of all the most common relationship problems.
Click on whatever interests you most to dig deeper.
It’s all based on research and data. It condensates, in a shorter and easier format, all the more in depth articles and books previously appeared here.
If you need more details, you can then just click on the hyperlinks.
Picking the Best Partner
One of the most important traits you need to have compatible with your partner is attachment styles.
It’s as important as it is underrated. Few people talk about it because few people know about it.
Read here:
And most important:
This is possibly the single most important factor when it comes to matching personality traits for good relationships.
For more insights, check the relationship guide.
What Makes Awesome Relationships
1. Accepting Influence
Accepting influence means listening to your partner and taking into consideration what they like and prefer.
Couples who don’t do it split up more than 80% of the times.
Read:
2. Emotional Connection
Sue Johnson, author of Hold Me Tight says that great couples don’t communicate better than poor couples.
They are just more emotionally attuned.
Read:
3. Positive Outlook
Couples who have a strong sense of relationship see each other positively.
And this is true for life in general as it is for relationship. Having a positive outlook means that you interpret negative behavior as the exception and positive behavior as the norm.
4. Fondness and Admiration: Staying in Love
A great way to stay focused on the positives and to stay in love for ever is to cultivate a culture of fondness and admiration for our partners.
Read here how to that:
5. Knowing Your Partner (Love Maps)
Knowing our partner and keep alive the curiosity it takes to updated that knowledge says “I care about you”.
A shared culture tells about your relationship together. The more shared meaning you have, the more unique and special your bond is.
7. Positives to Negatives
John Gottman found out that there is a “magic ratio” of positive to negatives above which relationships are successful.
Gary Chapman has such a simple and yet so revolutionary concept: if we don’t speak the same love languages we can’t communicate our love and appreciation to each other.
Relationship Breakers
And here’s what has been proven to destroy relationships instead (here’s a more in depth overview article focusing only on relationship destroyers)
1. Ambivalence
Ambivalence is not knowing whether to fully commit or not. You can’t have a good relationship while being ambivalent.
2. Bad Conflict Styles
Arguing well is not necessary a plus, but arguing badly does break relationship apart.
Avoid the following, also called The Four Horsemen of The Apocalypse:
Unsolvable Issues Bitterness
Conflict resolution is great, but don’t go thinking you’ll solve all problems. Most relationship issues stem from core differences, which makes them perennial issues.
No worries, you can still have awesome relationships even if those, here’s how:
4. Vicious Circles
When you argue badly, you accuse your partner for your unsolvable issues, and you lack most of what makes an awesome relationship, a bad thing start happening: vicious circles.
Vicious circles is how all relationships end.
Bad Relationships to Avoid
Abusive relationships
Abusive men veeeery rarely change, which means you can’t work on a relationship with an abusive man. You must avoid these guys altogether:
And albeit not tailored to abusive relationships:
Bad Relationship Dances
Relationship dances do not necessarily spell doom and some of them are not the end of the world (parent/child for example).
But still, if your goal is as awesome as you can be:
Combative relationships
Great relationships are sanctuary of safeness. That means no one upping, no undermining and not too many power games.
Best Relationship Books
Get The Guide
And if you you want a one stop book, get the relationship guide
