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Costa Rica: Surf, Chocolate, & Chicas (7/10)

Women: 6/10

  • Beauty Rating: 6 / 10
  • Quality of Girls: 5 / 10
  • Ease of Hooking Up: 7.5 / 10
  • Relationship potential: 6 / 10

What drags down a lot of women is that few Costa Ricans speak English, travel, or even had the chance to meet some driven, high-aiming individuals.
Costa Rica doesn’t really have any international -or even any major- urban conglomerate, and that makes the local women a bit “rustic” so to speak, lacking in the drive and sophistication that you can find in bigger and more international places.

“Rustic” impacts both general quality and beauty, as many women don’t care much about getting overweight -something that doesn’t seem to be a major stigma here-. So there are plenty of low-cut tops with bulging bellies, and bum cheek level shorts on… Well, you get the picture, I guess.

Just to be sure, of course, there is also plenty of beautiful women.
Proper English though, that’s much rarer unluckily.

On the plus side, it seems that since education is cheap, a good chunk of women go to university, which is good.

Also, I liked a lot that women didn’t play many games. Quite the opposite: they are very straightforward and don’t hide their feelings or likings (seems like if we had to use a huge paint-brush, the biggest game players are white women :).

Personally, I found out that I had quite a lot of value in the local markets, and took the “Costa Rican flag” quite early:

 

After that I focused more on experiences, moving around, and trying new things.

I also had a beautiful romance right before leaving.

I might use that case study for Seduction University for women, as what really made me want her -and what mame me special- were things like:

  • Her openness
  • Her compliments towards me
  • In some ways, her naivete

Which is the opposite that most guides for women recommend.

Also, I behave the total opposite of most dating advice would suggest, including:

  • I sent pictures
  • I told her I had a gift for her when she missed our first date
  • I did give her a gift when I met her (my own handmade chocolate bar: the best gifts have a personal touch)
  • I told her I wanted to invite her out
  • I told her I'd get her a Uber on the way back so she'd be safe
  • She missed the first date, and I re-initiated contacted some days later (she said they had mugged her, which is possible)

Again, the opposite of what most dating advice would recommend.

Of course, I'm not saying the above always works well.
But when it works well, it often works far better than feining disinterest and likes.
Usually, the above works well then the woman is also open and investing, as that gets going a mutually reinforcing cycle -see article for women here on "how to make him invest"-.

win-win text exchange example

Notice I don't play power-scalping games on "you're cute", but turn it into "we both are", which promotes collaborative win-win

Those are the best romances.
And she had the softest hair I've ever touched in... I can't remember since when (Freud might say I got some form of hair envy :).

Note: I might stop posting stories here

I love romance, and I like writing about it.
And I suppose that it served the business, by providing some sort of “proof of personal experience”. I feel that today there is much less need for that: the content speaks for itself (plus there is enough personal experience sprinkled in most of the content).

And albeit there is a part of me who likes writing about romance, there is also a part of me that doesn’t. In a way, it feels somewhat of a betrayal towards the woman who was there with me.
So I might either stop, curtail, or just keep it the bare minimum necessary references for the articles / products.

Food: 7/10

Nothing that made me think “wow, I really wanna go for that again”.

But I appreciated that there were a lot of options for “keto”, more than I’ve found in many other bigger cities. As a matter of fact, I tried my first ever “keto pizza” here.

My Italian amica who was there with me refused to even call that “pizza”, of course, but I totally loved it. I hadn’t had pizza in a long time, and even if the dough wasn’t the typical farina, it was awesome :).

In San Jose’ I also enjoyed a place called “Jardin de Lolita”, where you can get different food from different vendors, bring some of your own as well -a wine, for example-, and then just sit around as if it were a picnic place in the middle of the city.

So if “nothing special”, then why a “7”?

lucio buffalmano at cocoa plantation

For the chocolate.
I’ve done 3 chocolate experiences, did my own chocolate bars, and it was awesome.

Beauty: 6.5/10

lucio buffalmano a punta uva

Costa Rican managed to turn a few of their sea-spots -Tamarindo, Puerto Viejo- and jungle corners (Monteverde, Manuel Antonio) into tourisms hotspots for Americans.

And… They’re very nice.

Just not that special.

To bring it one point down are also the relatively high prices and the two tiers pricing for many attractions: locals and tourists (and guess who pays higher prices).

Lucio buffalmano a puerto viejo

General Quality of Life: 6/10 (9/10 for me)

7 on the beach sides, and 4.5 in the cities.

But as a tourist passing by, I had a total blast.

Everything was there: new places, new experiences, the seduction/romance, the beach, and some social life.

As a matter of fact, I’ve done a host of new things that were huge highlights for me, including:

  • First time surfing lesson (and caught several waves)
  • First time riding an ATV / quad (a blast)

lucio buffalmano riding a quad

  • First time riding a bicycle with pedal breaks, rather than levers (yes, appreciating small thigs is part of learning to love life)
  • First time doing my own chocolate
  • Dating in Spanish (that makes my 5th language I’ve used in real-life dating)
  • First time on a “Tarzan swing”

That last one was such an adrenaline rush:

The zip lines before it were awesome, but more “tame” -except the one riding it horizontally with your feet up, and once on the zip line when I didn’t reach the dock and had to turn and pull myself there while suspended on air-.

The Swing instead, f*ck, I was tense.
It was the last one, and before starting the tour, I thought I’d skip it: I'm not a huge thrill seeker, and I think there is limited personal growth in "controlled extreme thrills", so no major upsides.
But after all the zip lines you get a bit more used to heights, and once you’re on the platform, well, you just think “alright, I’m not backing down”.

I like being among the first to do something, but not the first: I like to see first how things work, so that I can better prepare.
But when the lady in front of me turned around and said “you first”, well…

The swing resembles a bungee jumping in the first few meters in the sense that it’s freefall. But then the cord “grips” and you’re propelled forward -that’s why the name “swing”-.
I thought the forward movement was going to be from the start, so the first few seconds of freefall were really intense as I truly thought “shit, this thing isn’t working” :).

FEAR IS FEAR OF LETTING GO OF CONTROL

I also realized something important: how much people are afraid or not afraid depends a lot on how much you trust others -and the world around you-.
When it comes to my personal safety, I’ve never been a guy to put a huge amount of faith on strangers, animals, systems that someone else prepared, and generally the world around. And giving up control to that world around me has never been my forte.
But if you can tell -and convince- a low-trust guy that “there is a well-thought and thoroughly tested system here that’s been proven to work over and over”, then chances are that the fear goes down, and it turns into “excitement”.

So for example I’ve always thought that I couldn’t do -and wouldn’t wanna do- bungee jumping, as the jump in the void feel is that of committing suicide.
But after all that zip lining and Tarzan swing, I had gotten into the mindset that “the system is reliable”, so I could have done it relatively -relatively- easy.
The fear/excitement of jumping would still be there, but the fear of the people/system failure is gone. And doing anything you gotta do is far more manageable when you ultimately trust that “you’ll be OK”.

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Sounds like quite the experience!
I can relate to a few things.
I have yet to go to Costa Rica though but would love to check out Central America one day.

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on March 14, 2021, 4:34 am

And albeit there is a part of me who likes writing about romance, there is also a part of me that doesn’t. In a way, it feels somewhat of a betrayal towards the woman who was there with me.

I would have a similar feeling as well.
Is this because there's an expectation for whatever happens to stay secret between lovers?

There's some magic lost by sharing the intimacy.
Like the love bubble has been popped.

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on March 14, 2021, 4:34 am

The swing resembles a bungee jumping in the first few meters in the sense that it’s freefall. But then the cord “grips” and you’re propelled forward -that’s why the name “swing”-.
I thought the forward movement was going to be from the start, so the first few seconds of freefall were really intense as I truly thought “shit, this thing isn’t working” :).

FEAR IS FEAR OF LETTING GO OF CONTROL

I also realized something important: how much people are afraid or not afraid depends a lot on how much you trust others -and the world around you-.
When it comes to my personal safety, I’ve never been a guy to put a huge amount of faith on strangers, animals, systems that someone else prepared, and generally the world around. And giving up control to that world around me has never been my forte.
But if you can tell -and convince- a low-trust guy that “there is a well-thought and thoroughly tested system here that’s been proven to work over and over”, then chances are that the fear goes down, and it turns into “excitement”.

So for example I’ve always thought that I couldn’t do -and wouldn’t wanna do- bungee jumping, as the jump in the void feel is that of committing suicide.
But after all that zip lining and Tarzan swing, I had gotten into the mindset that “the system is reliable”, so I could have done it relatively -relatively- easy.
The fear/excitement of jumping would still be there, but the fear of the people/system failure is gone. And doing anything you gotta do is far more manageable when you ultimately trust that “you’ll be OK”.

I do have a fear of falling.
I used to scream very loudly before the roller coaster even drops.
My friends say I scream louder than all the other people combined :).

I would have some problems doing the trust fall team-building exercises.

If you don't have a floor below you, what control do you have over your life?

I'm wondering whether I can rewire my brain to fear falling less if I trust other people's systems more.
Another perspective is that some of my friends easily do these adrenaline thrills easily because they don't think so much and anticipate so much.
Maybe I need to switch off the part of my brain that anticipates and ponders about consequences.

Outside Personal Safety

It seems that many similar fears bound from this desire to keep things under control.

  • Cold calling
  • Cold approaching women
  • Public speaking
  • Travelling to a new country
  • Learning a new skill
  • Speaking a new language

But I find free-falling to be one of the scariest.
Or rather the anticipation of free-falling.
Maybe an interesting thread on this under Mindsets?

  • Dating in Spanish (that makes my 5th language I’ve used in real-life dating)

I didn't know you spoke 5 languages :).

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Lucio Buffalmano

I didn't know you spoke 5 languages :).

Yeah, the way I put might have given that feeling, but probably should written more something like "bumbled my way through".

I would have a similar feeling as well.
Is this because there's an expectation for whatever happens to stay secret between lovers?

There's some magic lost by sharing the intimacy.
Like the love bubble has been popped.

Yeah, both of those.
Plus, it can be cheap, as people might feel it has a "look at me (how cool I am)" vibe, and it can have a predatory/"pussy scalping" vibe. Such as, it's not anymore "romance between lovers", but "look how I fucked this girl", which is not an approach that this website is too fond of.

I would have some problems doing the trust fall team-building exercises.

Yeah, tell me about it 🙂

I'm wondering whether I can rewire my brain to fear falling less if I trust other people's systems more.

Yes, it could be an interesting thread, albeit I won't have much to say since it's only an hypothesis for me so far -albeit it seemed to work well on me-.

I think the "rewiring" would be possible, and even likely.

Also a "momentary" rewiring, taking active steps before doing what you're afraid of.
For example, "feeding" the brain with trust-increasing questions and evidence.
Such as asking and answering things such as: how well-tested is a system if hundreds of people have done it, and they were all fine? How safe is a system that has been done and repeate across all over the world, with excellent results in terms of safety?

Plus, in some cases you can take steps to make sure the system works.
With the zip line, you can hang on the platform before you launch yourself, thus testing the system is well attached. With bungee jumping, you can pull your own cable before jumping and make sure it's attached.

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Matthew Whitewood
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Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on March 15, 2021, 4:56 am

I would have a similar feeling as well.
Is this because there's an expectation for whatever happens to stay secret between lovers?

There's some magic lost by sharing the intimacy.
Like the love bubble has been popped.

Yeah, both of those.
Plus, it can be cheap, as people might feel it has a "look at me (how cool I am)" vibe, and it can have a predatory/"pussy scalping" vibe. Such as, it's not anymore "romance between lovers", but "look how I fucked this girl", which is not an approach that this website is too fond of.

This website is too high quality for this to cross my mind. ?
But I bet we often have new visitors.
People do get strong emotions around love making and chocolate making.

Your stories feel genuine.
Like you talk about hair envy.

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on March 15, 2021, 4:56 am

Also a "momentary" rewiring, taking active steps before doing what you're afraid of.
For example, "feeding" the brain with trust-increasing questions and evidence.
Such as asking and answering things such as: how well-tested is a system if hundreds of people have done it, and they were all fine? How safe is a system that has been done and repeate across all over the world, with excellent results in terms of safety?

Plus, in some cases you can take steps to make sure the system works.
With the zip line, you can hang on the platform before you launch yourself, thus testing the system is well attached. With bungee jumping, you can pull your own cable before jumping and make sure it's attached.

I'm going to answer some of these questions when I face my fears.
I think that it will be helpful.

There's also the irrational fear portion which sometimes I needed gradual desensitisation.
I'm not sure if I can logically get through some of my fears.

Bungee jumping :).
I will leave that for a while later.
I remember some self-help people claim this type of fear-based activities will help you push through your comfort zone more.
I'm not sure how true is that.

I remember some self-help people claim this type of fear-based activities will help you push through your comfort zone more.
I'm not sure how true is that.

Yeah, it's a rather common notion.
"Do what you fear, and the death of fear is certain", it's a popular motto in self-development. There is a backdrop of truth, especially when applied to everyday circumstances.

But I'm unconvinced on how really useful it is with one-off "thrills" designed on purpose to be scary yet safe. I stand to change my mind on this, but the way I see it today, it's more of a personal ego-based challenge so you can tell yourself "I've done it". But the use for personal growth, including in making your fear for said activities recede, is limited.

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