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Covert power move: "praying for you" - Sammy The Bull

We talked about the anticipated sit-down between Franzese and The Bull.

And not in very good terms.

BUT I had to watch at a few of those videos.

And this was a good example of a "new" category of covert power move.

The "praying for someone":

Michael: (says in a video that him and his family prayed for Sammy)
Sammy
: the thing that bothered me the most was that him and his wife and his kids were at the church and they were praying for me

"Praying" for someone is usually a good thing, it means you care about them and want good things for them.

BUT, as most covert power moves, there is also a power component.

And that power component becomes far more pronounced in some circumstances.

In this case, it was a power move because:

  1. Sammy is not sick
  2. Sammy never asked help with anything
  3. It was said publicly, and not to the recipient of the prayer

Then the frame is much about one of "poor him, he needs help, he needs our prayers (and we're kind to think of him)".

As Sammy himself says later:

Why do you wanna pray for me, I'm not sick, I'm not dead, I'm not in jail, why would you wanna pray for me

Sammy might not know about "covert power move", but he is high in power and has a deep, natural power awareness.
So he picks this stuff up naturally.

Bel has reacted to this post.
Bel
Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?

I spent some time around 2 religious friends in 2017.

I was talking to one friend about an issue.

Then, my friend used this on me:

Him: Hey but I feel for you. Not sure how I can help but I will pray for you.
(although I know you don't believe)

Me: Nah it's good that we have diversity in our beliefs

At least he didn't pray for me in public.

The other friend used this as well:

Him: Will pray for you bro

Me: Don't worry

Then, they used that a couple of times more again.

Praying for what?

If it's a form of "praying for you unfaithful" then it's not very cool since it "others" you and pushes you down.

But if it was in a general sense of "praying for your well being", then it's a lot less a power move and much more like a nice gesture (in which case a "thanks" would have been better to preserve rapport and a good relationship).

 

Matthew Whitewood has reacted to this post.
Matthew Whitewood
Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?

Thanks for the advice Lucio.
Yeah, could be reading the situation wrong.

We were catching up over text, and we shared with each other what's going on in our lives including personal issues.

Then, he said that he will pray for me.

I didn't ask him for help or tell him that I'm in trouble so I felt that he was patronising me.

It's like how some people say "take care" or "stay safe" at the end of a phone call even when you can perfectly take care of yourself and maintain your own safety.

I could certainly be looking at this from the wrong angle.
Maybe I read the situation wrong in those instances.

Lucio Buffalmano has reacted to this post.
Lucio Buffalmano

Yeah, just providing a different possible view, as in my opinion and experience when it's said 1:1 between friends, it's more likely to be a nice gesture.

But you were there, so you know better.

Matthew Whitewood has reacted to this post.
Matthew Whitewood
Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?
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