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Dealing with LMR: why you must not "freeze her out"
There are many ways and techniques for dealing with last minute resistance right before sex.
And old popular one involved "freezing her out" (read "The Game" and "Mystery Method").
I have recently been asked why I don't think it's a good technique on Reddit, here:
What's "Freezing Her Out"
In a nutshell, freezing her out consists of ignoring her.
When the woman does not go along with the physical escalation, than the man should stop pursuing her and, instead, do something else.
For example:
- Go in the kitchen
- Check the phone
- Switch the laptop on
Why Freezing Her Out Can Work
The idea is that you stop giving her good feelings and, with the vacuum you create with your distance, you give her space to chase you.
In theory, it's solid psychology and chasing / running away dynamics often benefit for a "switch off" period.
Giving people space to miss you, after all, is crucial in attraction and seduction.
Freezing Her Out Example
When freezing her out works, it leads to the woman chasing the man.
See an example here with a "false takeaway", which is a form of freezing her out:
That's very seductive to many men brain.
Having women chasing them for sex, after all, is the dream for most guys (in case that's you: stop dreaming and join us in the real world: it's up to you to make things happen).
When men get a whiff of how freezing her out works, they think:
Wow, how much power, I can get her to chase me!
But on top of being a form of manipulative power, freeze-outs also have a rather spotty track record when it comes to pure effectiveness.
Why?
Freezing Her Out Starts Vicious Circles
In a nutshell, freezing her out is at high risk of starting a vicious circle and a combative relationship.
Kindness often (albeit not always) begets kindness.
And nastiness begets nastiness.
When you freeze her out you "show her" you don't care about her.
At that point, she can either chase you, she can feel spurned off and dejected, or she can engage in a "war of who cares less".
When men do it poorly, it's often the latter.
And she does the same back to you.
And then, at that point, a vicious circle starts which someone has to eventually stop.
Since it's usually the man who wants the sex to happen, the man loses out more often than not.
And if nobody breaks the vicious circle, then what happens?
Intimacy never happens.
And both lose.
That's why I much prefer frames that are about moving forward together.
Frames of mutual seduction, mutual interest, and mutual pleasure.
Freezing out is a clear antagonistic frame and that's why I don't recommend it.
Keep The Freeze For The Frigid
For the record, I do genuinely withdraw attention sometimes.
Some women don't know how to delay sex.
And when I realize that I'm not willing to share intimacy anymore and that I'd rather be on my own, then freezing out sends the clear message that it's either they show me they are also willing to be intimate with me, or that we should both be going our own ways.
