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Example of guy unaware of power dynamics in club

Recently came upon this video where the context is that two white guys hijack the conversation between an Asian guy and two Asian girls.

Ultimately the two white guys end up taking the girls home.

There is even a part of the video where an Asian girl makes out with the white guy all the while holding hands with the Asian guy who is unaware of what is happening.

This video shows how not being aware of power dynamics will lead to embarrassing situations.

What would you have done if you were in the position of the Asian guy to prevent this from happening? (Asian girl kissing the white guy was the point of no return)

 

Quote from Growfast on December 2, 2021, 2:33 pm

What would you have done if you were in the position of the Asian guy to prevent this from happening? (Asian girl kissing the white guy was the point of no return)

 

I think you already know my question, Growfast 🙂

And for background information, everything is possible but I don't think that girl was anyone's GF, it's just a bad title for clickbait.

Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?
Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on December 2, 2021, 5:49 pm
Quote from Growfast on December 2, 2021, 2:33 pm

What would you have done if you were in the position of the Asian guy to prevent this from happening? (Asian girl kissing the white guy was the point of no return)

 

I think you already know my question, Growfast 🙂

And for background information, everything is possible but I don't think that girl was anyone's GF, it's just a bad title for clickbait.

The title is definitely a clickbait.

Looking at the situation where the girl has her body turned towards the white guy and away from the Asian guy. The only possible move I see is to ask her "Who is this new friend of yours?".

I also don't feel like ignoring her would work here since her attention is completely drifted away.

It was a losing battle.

To begin with, I don't know the specifics of this situation.

But I do know that in many non-English speaking countries there are a lot of hos who go to bars frequented by mostly white patrons and they're there looking for white men.

Let's not over-generalize and let's say you can meet anyone anywhere and exceptions always apply.
But if it's a night place of mostly white expats and/or white tourists, a lot of the women there are white-diggers and many of them are tramps.

So in order:

  1. Pick places that are good for you (one of the basics of SU)
  2. Pick places with fewer tramps (unless you're there for learning or going through a party phase yourself)
  3. Don't fight over tramps, pick higher-quality women (another basic, but some exceptions apply exclusively for learning's sake)
  4. Look less at the crazy cases, and more at the norm, and follow a process based on the norm (another basic)

And in this specific case, it was a tough situation because that girl seemed to like that blonde guy more.

Holding hand is a lot less than being groped, so he was losing before that final snapshot.
Plus, even from social dynamics, tramp #2 was supporting the blonde guy, and tramp #2 seemed to be the leader. That also matters a lot.

A much better alternative for the "local guy" was to ask the girl before it came to that final sad conclusion:

You: Hey, it seems like you like me and I also find you interesting. But I can see there is this other guy who's also interested in you. So just tell me, do you prefer him or me

If she says she prefers you, seek to move her.
If she says she prefers the guy, say "great, I also like blondes. It was nice meeting you" and move.

Transitioned has reacted to this post.
Transitioned
Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?

Hi GF

EDIT some reason i couldn't see Lucio's reply before I posted.  He s covered tactics better than I could.

You keep posting about variations on the same situation. The main point I d make to a young guy is you have a lot of time to fix things.  You don't urgently need some magic bullet or shortcut. You can work on yourself in ways that will pay off in six months and have multiple benefits.

Do you think there might be value in looking at alternative approaches. E.g. better screening so you quickly disqualify  girls who are always looking for the BBD, different venues such as business, social and self development events where you might meet higher quality girls.  Working on building a social circle so you get introduced. Working on exercise, meditation, and CBT so you re less outcome dependent and attached.

You ve already been given great tactics and specific words.  If this was going to solve it for you it would be solved

Re learning tactics.  I d say choose one or two that fit your style from here.  And practice in the mirror in front of that YouTube clip muted so you have an emotional anchor

I myself have a Chinese gf. - 6 years in now I did not win her by disrespecting some dude.  I was known as a solid guy and was introduced by friends. Most decent Asian girls I know met their partner that way.

If your more interested in notch count I d say that most experienced players I know use a system ie have it templated.  That saves processing power and minimises angst.

 

My usual disclaimer:. I m an LTR guy maybe you aren't.  I m 6 years out of the game. I only know what I know

 

 

 

Lucio Buffalmano and Matthew Whitewood have reacted to this post.
Lucio BuffalmanoMatthew Whitewood
Quote from Transitioned on December 2, 2021, 7:08 pm

I myself have a Chinese gf. - 6 years in now I did not win her by disrespecting some dude.  I was known as a solid guy

This.

If I was having an honest and unfiltered conversation with a friend who showed me that video -and who had previously shown me videos of "stealing women"- the first thing I'd do is to look at him and say:

Why the fuck are you wasting time on these wretched videos of idiots fighting over tramps -where do you even find them-

And the "fuck" would be there to make the point as salient as it needs to be.

Then after that we could talk about power dynamics and techniques, which are very interesting in these cases. But that initial reaction would probably be the most important feedback when it comes to general dating.

It's helpful to learn from extreme and rarer situations, but it's not from the extremes that you will get the vast majority of your results. So you're generally better served focusing on the norm, on the women who like you, and on the process.

Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?
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