Lecturing powermove
This one is quite annoying and will come from people who are in the habit of thinking themselves as superior and more wordly than others.
an example of some conversations I had were.
Me :- “Could you suggest subjects which are easier to get a good grade in?”
(Now this is because I want to improve my grades as much as possible for resume purposes, doesn’t mean I am not learning topics which help me in the long run)
Guy :- “You shouldn’t choose subjects based on whether they are easy or not. You should choose them based on how they will help you in your career.”
Me :- “Did I tell you I am not interested in studying those subjects? This is for the purpose of grades so stick to the question.”
Now I might have come across aggressive or maybe not in response to his power move.
What would be the best way to respond to such lecturing power-moves if in a group setting?
Me :- “Could you suggest subjects which are easier to get a good grade in?”
Guy :- “You shouldn’t choose subjects based on whether they are easy or not. You should choose them based on how they will help you in your career.”
You :- “Wow, thank you for the suggestion “dad”! 🙂 Can you also help with my question now?” (said while smiling)
I like to align with him, but then "philosophize" him back
Me :- “Could you suggest subjects which are easier to get a good grade in?”
Guy :- “You shouldn’t choose subjects based on whether they are easy or not. You should choose them based on how they will help you in your career.”
Me : "From a purely philosophical point of view, you are completely right. It's a long term goal you and I should always strive for. But to be effective in life, we also have to strategize and be pragmatic. Furthermore, "easy subjects" are still knowledge. We'll have to learn them sooner or later if we are serious about building a solid career. So why not now?
Hi Growfast
Guy :- “You shouldn’t choose subjects based on whether they are easy or not. You should choose them based on how they will help you in your career.”
Since you are looking to get some kind of info from him, I personally don't see the point in debating or arguing with him, I would just Thank him for his suggestion and ask the question again if he doesn't answer it.
In a group setting, I would do something like this:
Guy :- “You shouldn’t choose subjects based on whether they are easy or not. You should choose them based on how they will help you in your career.”
You : Not always, subjects can be learnt later in life outside school, but you can get a good grade only when you are in school.
Mav
I would use agree and (kind of) redirect (or let it go as Maverick said) without justifying:
Him: “You shouldn’t choose subjects based on whether they are easy or not. You should choose them based on how they will help you in your career.”
You: Yeah, I agree with you, that's the best general approach! (smile and then you move on: BTW, did you...)
So you don't defend, you don't expand on the thread of you justifying yourself and you still hint that you have other reasons that you are not disclosing. So you get to express that you are in a different situation and keep rapport.