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Mansplaining frame-control

Love how this man goes from target to attacker:

Her: I love this mansplaining (uses a loaded word to judge him and shame him)
Him: you loving what? (surfaces and thread-expands: simply by having to explain, she loses power, she reacts to him, he gains control of the frame, and he's got time to think and strategize)
Her: (loses her plot: simply realizing the victim is not a victim is often enough for the aggressor to lose steam)

Matthew Whitewood and Growfast have reacted to this post.
Matthew WhitewoodGrowfast
Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?

Do you think we can use the same technique here?

Person: That's why I have send you all the relevant information previously.
I love how italian you are sometimes.
That's why we have Porsche and you have Fiat

You: You loving what? (or You loving Italian?)

Growfast has reacted to this post.
Growfast
Quote from Matthew Whitewood on September 15, 2021, 12:47 pm

Do you think we can use the same technique here?

Person: That's why I have send you all the relevant information previously.
I love how italian you are sometimes.
That's why we have Porsche and you have Fiat

You: You loving what? (or You loving Italian?)

I feel like in the video it was a face to face communication so asking 'What?' Can have the reason of being a knee jerk reaction to something that he is not aware of.

On text the 'What? ' question can come across as aggressive since you can already see what is written. So I feel it's better to ask in this example

You : What is "Italian" supposed to mean here?

These are my thoughts

 

Matthew Whitewood has reacted to this post.
Matthew Whitewood

I totally see your point. Thanks for sharing!

Growfast: I feel like in the video it was a face to face communication so asking 'What?' Can have the reason of being a knee jerk reaction to something that he is not aware of.

Reminds me of what Lucio explains in this clip of Judge Judy against this man:

Judge Judy: How many?

Man: About 4

Judge Judy: About 4? What do you mean about 4? What does that mean? About 4?

Man: Erm about 4 of them including your daughter

Judge Judy: What are you talking about?

Here Judge Judy's immediate reaction to the man's sarcastic joke "including your daughter" was a great tactic to put the ball back in his court.
It shows that you are calm, and it frames the other person as talking nonsense.

This has a similar dynamic here:

Her: I love this mansplaining (uses a loaded word to judge him and shame him)

Him: you loving what? (surfaces and thread-expands: simply by having to explain, she loses power, she reacts to him, he gains control of the frame, and he's got time to think and strategize)

I see that, in the text example, it's different.
And he's kind of hiding behind the joking frame rather than the stronger, sarcastic insinuation of the lady in the video.
It does sound harder to retort in my opinion without looking too aggressive.

Maybe something like

Tell me what you like about Porsche 🙂

Quote from Growfast on September 15, 2021, 1:04 pm
Quote from Matthew Whitewood on September 15, 2021, 12:47 pm

(...)

Do you think we can use the same technique here?

Person: That's why I have send you all the relevant information previously.
I love how italian you are sometimes.
That's why we have Porsche and you have Fiat

You: You loving what? (or You loving Italian?)

I feel like in the video it was a face to face communication so asking 'What?' Can have the reason of being a knee jerk reaction to something that he is not aware of.

On text the 'What? ' question can come across as aggressive since you can already see what is written. So I feel it's better to ask in this example

You : What is "Italian" supposed to mean here?

These are my thoughts

Yeah, I agree with Growfast.

There are times when "what" on a text can work great, but not in that specific example.

Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?
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