The 8 Types of Cockblockers (& How to Handle them)

guy cockblocking his friend

We already outlined how to handle cockblockers.

In this article we will go more in details on the different types of cockblockers.

#1. The Clueless Friend

First of all is the clueless friend.

You know the guy.
You are getting along with a girl, you flirt with her, she responds, everything says it’s all about the two of you… But the third wheel just stays there.

guy cockblocking his friend

How to Handle This Cockblocker:

The clueless friend is easy ot handle: you just gotta take the lead and let him know, as directly as it’s needed, that “you two”, such as “you and the girl”, are going somewhere and that you two -you and him-, will catch up later (more like another day).

The day after call him and apologize you had to do it.
If he’s a good buddy, he will understand.

#2. The Jester

The jester cockblocker will come in high energy, crack jokes, ask opinions and potentially engage in lots of touching to both you and the girl.

These are the sometimes pick-up artists who are following “high energy” models as espoused by early pick-up theory (Mystery Method, The Game) or RSD-style schools.

How to Handle This Cockblocker:

To handle these cockblockers effectively you have to form a non-written bond with the girl which says “it’s the two of us, enjoying this clown”.

When the guy cracks a joke look at the girl, not at him.
Don’t get too drawn in by his stories and jokes. Keep your body pointed towards the girl, and if she does the same, you got this.

Then keep talking to the girl only, and if she replies looking mostly at you, she’s telling you she wants to be alone with you.

If the jester doesn’t get it, move her away with an excuse.
You can simply tell her or ask her if she wants to move somewhere else. For example “hey, do you want to go refill a drink” or “hey, shall we go check the dance floor”.
If she nods, put a hand on the joker’s shoulder and say “alright man, that was fun, pleasure meeting you”.

It’s also possible to do it the other way around and first tell the jester that it was nice meeting him and then inviting the girl to move.
It’s very dominant, but it’s higher risk and it gives more of your game away.

You also come across more defensive while sending a very strong “I like you” signal before she commits to anything.

#3. The cockblocker who jokes you’re picking up the girl

This is a specific type of joke which can put most men in a bind.

There is a video on YouTube where a guy named Barron describes this exact situation:

His technique is to go over the top in a joking way.
I disagree with it.

It gives the cockblocker way too much important and power, and he is following the cockblocker’s lead.
When you try to “outdo” the cockblocker you also end looking like a social climber, and by now you should know that’s far from optima social behavior.

Where most people trip here is that they feel like they need to answer verbally -or, worst, physically- to the tooling man.
But that’s not the case.

Here are two big takeaways for you:

  1. You don’t need to reply to everyone
  2. Not everyone is worth your time and effort

How to Handle This Cockblocker:

Don’t engage him.

You don’t need to be confrontational about your refusal to engage.
You can even give the cockblocker a slight nod as if to say “I heard you and I’m acknowledging you (but not going to give you full attention with an actual reply)”.

And then you can actually use him to strengthen the bond with the girl.
Like this:

Tooler: Hey man, you trying to pick up this chick, go ahead, ask her out, how’s your schedule Jane, this guy’s interested
You: (look at him and nod slightly, possibly even smile and say “hey man” then turn to the girl while pointing your finger towards the guy) funny guy here

Why is this move more powerful?

Because it obeys the law of least effort.
The cockblocker bent out of shape to trip you.

He’s trying to get your attention and tool you, which is a high effort behavior (and possibly motivated by fear).
When you try to out-do him, you spend even higher levels of efforts.
Not good.
And you forget about the girl.
Terrible.

When you don’t engage him instead, you communicate he’s not worthy of your time. Much more powerful.

#4. The “Are You Two Together” Cockblocker

Have you ever had someone asking a girl you’ve recently met if you two are together?

Handling that question is not easy when you’re not (yet) together but you’re interested and things seem to be going well.

It puts you in a bind: saying yes is possible only if she’s dying to be with you. Otherwise, it communicates you want her so badly while she hasn’t decided yet.
And that will sink your chances.

Saying no is slightly demeaning towards her and it communicates that he’s free to intrude.
And if you don’t reply you let the awkward silence linger, which reduces both yours and the girl’s social status -but mostly the man’s status as he should be the leader- and makes it painfully obvious you are not together.

Which is exactly what happens in this scene from The Breakfast Club:

Sporto is losing the most value because he is the man and he is not taking charge. He is also allowing a bad situation to fester, and women usually blame the man in these cases.
Bender, the “bad boy” is not winning either, but he’s managing to destroy the romance between the two.
A better answer by Sporto here would have been to deal with Bender’s attack by dealing with his behavior or his motives, not with his words, which answers within his frame of reference and leaves you stuck in the double bind.

How to Handle This Cockblocker:

If a cockblocker barges in and asks the two of you if you are together, you want to answer with something noncommittal, but without saying “you’ve just met” or anything that sounds demeaning to her.

A good option is to exit that frame and say that the two of you are talking and getting to know each other.
Then move back to the girl and cut him off.

If you two are already close, you can use this occasion to move her away with you.
If you are not yet close, watch how she reacts to your handling of the intrusion as that will be a great test for how much she likes you.

#5. The Fake-Friendly Cockblocker

The friendly cockblocker is insidious.

He leverages our inborn tendency to be friendly to people who are friendly to us (Cialdini, 1984).

However, don’t fall for it: he’s trying to tool you and ruin your interaction. Sometimes it happens to me with people who use Italian stereotypes in a seemingly friendly way to interrupt my conversation.
Like raising their voice with “ciao bello” and doing some Italian hand-gestures.

This might seem friendly because they are recognizing your culture and giving you lots of attention.
But don’t fall for it, it’s the opposite of friendly and they’re acting way too dominant if they are interrupting your previuos conversation.

How to Handle This Cockblocker:

A great way to handle this is by acknowledging them with a slight smile but no more.
Don’t follow their high-energy lead and you will come out of it much stronger.
Then stay focused on the girl.

#6. The Socially Aggressive Cockblocker

There are many ways of being aggressive.

For example:

  1.  Barges in and start talking without being invited
  2. Tells you she is not free
  3. Come in and hugs her as if to mark territory (even though he’s just a friend)

The correct mindset here is that if your girl is still there talking and engaging with you, other men don’t have the right to cut you off.

How to Handle This Cockblocker:

It’s in these cases that I recommend not turning towards the cockblocker at all.
Either raise your hand as if to say one minute, or slightly turn your head and say “hey, wait a minute man”.

Example: the white-knighting cockblocker

Some years ago I was at a club.

I was talking to a black girl, and she was happy to talk to me.

Suddenly, a big “jealous friend” (or maybe a friend of the guy she was supposedly seeing) butted in in a confrontational way.

I can’t recall exactly what he said, it wasn’t a quiet environment.
But I turned my head halfway between the girl and him and said loud and sternly “I’m not talking to you man”.
That stopped him in his tracks, which also suggests that attitude often overthrows size.

Pyrric victory, though: that also stopped my interaction with the girl.
The problem with using aggression against aggression indeed is that it will likely sour the interaction.
And it mostly only works with cockblockers who don’t know the girl.

If the cockblocker and the girl are friends, it will force her to pick the friend over an unknown guy because sticking with you would ruin their friendship.

And, again, women are conservative and are more likely to pick a guy from their social circle over a stranger.
Social mastery is about using the
least force possible to get your desired outcome.

Better Strategy: Recruit Her Help

With an aggressive cockblocker who happens to be her friend, I recommend you recruit her help to handle him.

In the example above, you can ask her “do you know him”? If she says yes, then prod her to handle him by saying “alright, cool, can you tell him it’s all good here?”.

Move Her Away From The Confrontation

If the cockblcoker doesn’t know the girl and you successfully used aggression against aggression, seek to move her right away.

You want to look like you’re “protecting her” and want to move away from an unpleasant interaction.
If you stay stuck there, she will likely excuse herself and abandon what looks like a nasty and dangerous environment.

#7. The Physically Aggressive Cockblocker

Look at this scene from Scarface:

A mistake many men do here is to think they need to fight for the girl.

That’s typical male mindset, applied straight to women.
But since men and women are different, that does not always work well.

There has likely been physical some competition among men for women in our past as a species, but evolutionary psychology, together with real life-observation, shows that violence is rarely conducive to seduction and to sleeping with girls.

You shouldn’t have to fight for a girl who likes you.
And if she didn’t like you to begin with, then you’re fighting for nothing and you’re better off moving to a girl who actually likes you.

How to Handle This Cockblocker:

A better course of action here?

Tell the girl to follow you somewhere quieter.
If she follows you, she wants you.
If not, she might prefer the guy, or she might enjoy seeing men battling for her.

I’m not telling you necessarily to back down, but I do am telling that you are going to lose power vis-a-vis with her, even if you win against him.

Even if you were to win, you’d end up being the power down, because she just played the “contest game” on you, and that makes her the prize of the relationship.

Also read:

How To Deal With Guys Hitting on Your Girlfriend

#8. The Power Dynamics-Aware Cockblocker

This is the rarest breed and they’re potentially the most dangerous.

They come in, and ignore you.

Most guys would naturally try to get his attention and right there and then, they lose.

If a guy ignores you and just talks to the girl, it’s paramount that you ignore him as well.

If you try to get a man’s attention when he’s given you none, you basically acknowledge him as higher value.
And 99 times out of 100, you’re toast.
Avoid laughing at his jokes, too, or you risk looking lower value:

Don’t laugh at his jokes or you risk looking lower status. Just arch your lips up if it was good, that’s it

How to Handle This Cockblocker:

What you must do when a man butts in and ignores you is to do the same as he does and only engage the girl.

She will then be the chooser.

You must be wise about it, though.
Avoid looking like you’re vying for her attention, or that puts you in the chasing position and power-down position.
If he is trying to get her attention, let him while you avoid over-investing: he is actively devaluing himself.

Talk normally, and if she engages you more and looks at you more often, then get into some slightly more personal topic that will make it obvious this is about you and her.

For example: “oh I see, I had a similar experience actually, how did it feel for you when… “.
Alternatively, you can flirt with her.
Touch her arm while saying with a smile “and I bet you’re always flirting with that handsome boss of yours aren’t you“.

If she plays along with you, you are effectively cutting him out together, which is perfect for your seduction.

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