It’s good to last longer in bed, right?
Being able to keep going and going at will, and then release when you feel most like it.
Well, it turns out there are many ways to control your erection and ejaculation to last longer.
Here are the best ones:
- 1. Make Sex The Norm: Fuck More
- 2. Stop-Start Method
- 3. Distract Your Mind From Sex
- 4. Switch Positions
- 5. Break Through The Wall. Then Coast
- 6. Add Non-Penetrative Sex To The Menu
- 7. Make Her Come First
- 8. Do It Romantically: Slow Down
- 9. Train Your “Hold Back Muscles” With Kegel Exercises
- 10. The Nice Guy Solution: Make It About the Performance
- 11. If You’re Too Horny: Masturbate
- 12. Practice Lasting Longer With Masturbation
- 13. Cialis / Viagra / Medication
- 14. Extended Pleasure Condoms
- 15. The Squeeze Method
- 16. Get Drunk
- The Holistic Approach: Healthy Life
1. Make Sex The Norm: Fuck More
If you have just started having sex, sex is still something “out of the ordinary for you”.
Your mind and body are reacting to the novelty by taking advantage of it as quickly as possible.
This what your subconscious mind is saying:
Your subconscious mind: Quick! Impregnate her!
You: But I’d like to last longer
Your subconscious mind: are you kidding me? The last time you had sex was 1 year ago… With an inflatable doll. This is our chance, shoot now!
You don’t need any crazy technique to overcome this issue: time and quantity of sex will naturally silence that voice.
Your nerves will placate and you will slowly but surely settle down into a longer-lasting routine.
2. Stop-Start Method
This is a very popular method to last longer in bed.
It consists of having sex in fit and starts: thrust few times, then stop. Thrust a few times, then stop.
It works, but if this is your only method and you don’t do anything else during the stops, it makes the overall sexual experience less natural and passionate.
And it could be harder for her to reach an orgasm. But add some position switching and it works wonders.
3. Distract Your Mind From Sex
An old classic.
Take your mind off the sex with deeply un-arousing thoughts.
You will reduce the pleasurable sensations you are experiencing and it will make you last longer.
This is the technique that Marshall uses in this episode of How I Met Your Mother:
Right, that’s something to also keep in mind: don’t indulge in too much bone-killing thoughts or it might just work too well :).
4. Switch Positions
This is one of my favorites.
It allows you to stop while at the same time being dominant in bed.
Instead of just stopping indeed: change her position.
A typical session of mine looks like this: begin by bending her over and penetrating her from behind. Then go missionary on the bed. Follow with a doggy style. Then make her go on top.
Finish it from the back with her flat on her belly.
You don’t need to follow the same steps of course, but definitely do switch position.
Hell, they don’t even need to be all sex positions. Stop and kiss!
4.2 Do It In Positions You Don’t Like
When you feel like you’re more at risk of coming, do it in positions that you least like.
I’ll come out of the closet: I don’t particularly enjoy blow jobs. Then if I didn’t want to come, I’d make a switch with her giving me head.
Think of positions and sexual acts you don’t particularly love, and do more of those.
5. Break Through The Wall. Then Coast
You know that feeling you get when you start moving very quickly, and very quickly you’re short of breath?
There is an expression in Italian for this: “rompere il fiato”.
It doesn’t have a precise equivalent English, but the best translation would be “get into your stride“.
When you start running and before you get into your stride it feels like you’re done after one minute, right? It feels like you just don’t have it in you anymore.
But that’s not true.
You have it in you to go on for hours.
It’s just a matter of enduring and outlasting those “short of breath” moments of intense difficulty. And then you get into your rhythm and coast.
It’s the same to lasting longer in bed.
You need to overcome those key moments when you’re almost about to come. That’s the moment to slow down, change position, squeeze your snake… Whatever it takes until you hit your stride.
6. Add Non-Penetrative Sex To The Menu
It’s reductive to think of sex as just penetration.
Especially if your worry is to last longer for her because women don’t see sex like men do. They have a wider, more holistic view of sex that goes beyond pure penetration.
Engage in more foreplay, kiss more, use your tongue and fingers… Then even if the penetrative sex won’t last as long, it’s not a problem. Because it’s only one item on the menu, and the overall sex did last long.
7. Make Her Come First
If you fear of not lasting enough in bed is to make her orgasm, then what about making her come first?
Do lots of foreplay, learn to give proper head, use your fingers… And then go for it with your penis after she’s done. She’ll be very happy that you will not last too long :).
8. Do It Romantically: Slow Down
The hotter the flame, the faster it burns.
There is a direct connection between how quickly he goes, and how soon he peaks. A quicker tempo can overload the tip of the penis with stimuli, which leads to the inevitable ejaculation.
A slower rhythm stimulates the tip of penis less, allowing him to last longer in bed.
He who goes slowly, goes far
9. Train Your “Hold Back Muscles” With Kegel Exercises
Kegel exercises are a series of exercises to strengthen your pelvic floor muscles.
Stronger pelvic floor muscles, in turn, will help you hold back more easily and last longer.
The biggest hurdle with Kegel exercises is to actually find those muscles as it’s not as simple as doing curls.
But it’s not that difficult either.
Do this to find them:
- Stop urination mid-flow (but don’t it as an exercise per se)
- Try to lift your penis up vertically in front of a mirror and make sure you’re not using abs and glutes’ muscles
- Tighten the anal muscles you normally use to prevent passing gas
Then your exercises will be about contracting and releasing those muscles, several times a day. Start laying down on a mat first as it’s easier. And then you can do even while seating. At the office… Or while reading ThePowerMoves :).
10. The Nice Guy Solution: Make It About the Performance
When I started having sex the thought of how to last longer in bed never even crossed my mind.
As I matter of fact, I had the opposite problem: how to come.
It was because all my focus was on making it a good experience for her and showing my prowess.
This is a mindset that Robert Glover discusses in No More Mr Nice Guy. Such as that some men make it too much about the woman. So much so that they forget about themselves and the pleasure of sex in itself.
Needless to say, that’s not a good solution if you go all the way.
But, if you can move the focus from the sex to the physical performance, it can be of help.
11. If You’re Too Horny: Masturbate
A common issue that stops men from lasting longer in bed is that they are too horny.
Being horny is good, but when that horniness translates into quick ejaculations, not so much. A method as old as the penis itself then is to masturbate with frequent intervals so that you never go too “quick shooting caveman”.
12. Practice Lasting Longer With Masturbation
Since you’re there, you can use masturbation as your training ground.
When you’re about to peak, try all the methods.
- Breathing deeper and relaxing
- Contracting your pelvic floor muscles
- Squeezing the tip of your penis
- Slowing down
- And even switching imaginary position
You will get to know yourself more and will understand what works best for you.
13. Cialis / Viagra / Medication
For many men, the idea of lasting longer is not so much not to ejaculate, but to keep having sex.
And they want to avoid ejaculation because when they come, they lose the erection.
Well, if that’s the problem, then Viagra easily fixes the erection issue.
And it’s undoubtedly effective to keep going. It can also be of great psychological comfort knowing that in the worst case there is still effective medication out there.
However, don’t make this your go-to solution.
First, work on yourself and use all the methods here, which are natural and work wonders.
14. Extended Pleasure Condoms
There are several makers on the market of “extended pleasure condoms”, here is one example on Amazon.
They use chemicals such as Lidocaine and Benzocaine that work like localized anesthetics. They numb the tip of your penis and reduce the sensations. Reduced sensations allow for longer lasting sex sessions.
The downside is that they might reduce your sensations too much, so you need to find the right balance. If you want to use this method, you could try removing some of the chemical lube with a little rinsing.
15. The Squeeze Method
It consists of grabbing your penis and squeezing the tip of it just when you’re about to peak. It can work… But not always. When it doesn’t work, it completely ruins the ejaculation by taking all the pleasure out of it.
And it kills the mood.
Learn how it works and use it when needed. Just don’t make it your only and main tool.
16. Get Drunk
I put this one as last.
But it’s not a “last but not least case” as this is the worst long term technique for lasting longer. For obvious reasons :).
But that’s not to say that it doesn’t work.
Have you ever heard of “whiskey dick?”.
Some call “whiskey dick” the lack of erection due to alcohol consumption. But whiskey dick is also the inability of coming during sex.
I remember years ago coming back home with a hot girl from a night out at a club.
She was a true club queen and of the hottest girl I had ever been with.
And yet… I banged her to sleep like in the Marshall video above… And I didn’t even come!
Yes, if you have good erections alcohol works.
It’s the same concept of the extended pleasure condoms: alcohol is a suppressor and it decreases your sensations. Except it’s not localized and runs through your whole body.
I shouldn’t put this warning here, but just to be sure: don’t use this as a long term solution.
The Holistic Approach: Healthy Life
That’s the millennia-old secret wisdom.
The Romans knew it, and it means “a healthy mind in a healthy mind”.
Eat well, exercise, meditate, rest and have plenty of sex,
And chances are you’ll never again look again at an article on how to last longer in bed.
You can start here for nutrition: