It wasn’t even 10 minutes we were speaking, and she had already told me I was romantic and sexy.
She wasn’t drunk and wasn’t particularly forward either.
How could that be then, considering I’m not even sexy? 🙂
Well, I led her till the point she was almost forced to admit on the compliment.
Interesting, no? Most tips are on how you compliment her. Let’s see how to make her compliment you instead.
- Why Getting a Girl to Compliment You is Great
- General Rule of Women Complimenting You
- How To Respond To a Compliment
- When do you make HER Compliment You?
Why Getting a Girl to Compliment You is Great
When you can make her compliment you, you bring in the open she’s (somewhat) into you, which does wonders for you.
Four main reasons why:
- We become what we act and admit to
As Cialdini teaches us the moment we say or admit to something, that something comes to shape our beliefs and behavior. We humans tend to become what we act and say. So having her admit she likes you, makes her liking for you even stronger
- It makes her liking conscious
While she might have liked you anyway, it might happen on a subconscious level. Saying it out loud takes a subconscious feeling and adds on top a full fledged rational, cognizant fact.
- It turns the table
Usually it’s men who make compliments. Women aren’t used to professing their fondness for someone upon meeting. It might even be the first time she does it in her life, and you immediately become a huge stand out.
- It makes the seduction mutual
Now it’s not anymore a guy chasing a girl as it’s too often the case, but a girl who couldn’t hide her hots anymore. And you become the cool guy who likes her back. Now it’s two people liking each other, bringing you two closer. And you know where that should lead.
Forge ahead Casanova 😉.
General Rule of Women Complimenting You
Women -or anyone for that matter- will sometimes talk well of a general topic which is indirectly about you or can be applied to you. Women will often do that (half) unconsciously as they’re getting more excited.
Turning that general positive talk and making it specific about you is the core of receiving all useful comments you need to further your (social) seduction.
And if you’re confident she does feel positively about certain qualities of yours, you can outright steer the conversation to a general topic which you will later make specific about you.
Sounds too generic? It is, that’s why that’s the general rule. So below for you are some real world examples:
#1 Get a Compliment Through a Stereotype
While traveling in Korea a year ago a dyed-blonde local girl once sang me “Oh solo mio” in the street outside a club. I thought that was so cool and hilarious I had to record it.
Fast forward to yesterday, when a bit for fun a bit for social proof I showed the video to my new Korean acquaintance. She then broached the Italian / Latin stereotype saying in Korea there’s this romantic ideal of Italian men. Note that when women enter into those kind subjects it’s often because they feel so about you.
I’ve been in this situation a thousand times before, so my mind automatically went:
But not enough. I wanted to score bigger points. So I prodded:
Me: “Romantic and… Sexy maybe?” (devilish smile, light touch on her arm).
She: Big laugh and nod. Bingo, I’m marching towards victory
Me: “Well, don’t you agree that’s true”, I say pointing at myself.
She: laughs even harder while nodding and leaning in. She places her hand on my shoulder.
+3 points for yours truly 😉
#2 Get a Compliment For a Quality of Yours
- If you’re well dress in an upscale bar the convo might go:
You: “And how come you picked this place for your night’s reveling”
She: “Well, I like this bar because everyone’s so beautiful and well groomed here, it’s very classy”.
You: “Absolutely, I also love putting some nice clothes and hit the town, what do you think about my sexy outfit” (half jokingly pointing at yourself)?
She: “Ahaha yeah it’s pretty cool”
You: “Ehehe thank you, I’m glad you think I’m sexy, I love your style too. And what are the plans for later, hitting a club and chasing some more handsome boys?
- If you’re in rough and tumble club she might say:
She: “I like fun places just to dance the night away” (unhelpful topic: let’s do more than just dancing 🙂
You: “Yes, I believe dancing is a magical thing, it’s relishing your inner instincts and getting in touch with your full body, it’s extremely sensual”
She: “I agree”
You: “And my skilled moves make you a bit excited don’t they” 😉
She: “ahah yeah you’re a very skilled dancer, I can see you’ve been practicing”
You “Thank you, you got some raw talent too. I like good dancers because they are comfortable in their own bodies and..” (entering a sexually charged convo here)
#3 Get a Compliment by Asking Directly
You usually don’t wanna ask directly.
Getting a compliment is rarely 100% serious and most often a flirting game. And flirting is all about the hinted.
But there are always exceptions to the rule. Sometimes you will have a girl on the fence about you. Should you spend more time with her or let her go?
Rather than guessing, go for broke: ask for a compliment as a form of commitment to you.
She: Yes I’d like to but I can’t now
You: “Why not, come, it’s just over there. (looking at her flirtatiously) Don’t you think I’m a rather cool handsome guy”
She: “Ahah yes you kinda are”
You “Ahah thank you, I’m glad you think I’m sexy, I like you too. (take her hand) Come then, let’s go”
Even if it doesn’t go that smoothly, the idea is that If she confirms such a positive impression of you, then you know you can stay and you will re-set the interaction from a much stronger foundation: she just admitted and confirmed her attraction.
#4 Make Yourself Stand Out Against Dull Men
This might end up being a direct compliment but might as well be left untold.
Cialdini again tells us that what’s unique is often automatically more attractive.
Here are a few examples how you could do it with your conversation:
- Today’s metrosexual hipsters: are those men or some new gender ? (VS you, the more mannish guy instead).
- Talk about guys going out in packs, talking to each other and only making a move once too drunk (VS you, the man with the smooth moves).
- Those old beer belly guys in the corner staring at girls asses (VS you, with a lean figure… And only sometimes indulging in ass peeving ;).
- Talk about the local guys and their summer white socks in sandals (VS classy you. And yes the Germans really do the sandals & white socks).
The mindset is key here. You are not really having a dig at the “competition”. You shouldn’t even think that way.
You’re instead having some fun while complimenting yourself and her-she’s the lucky gal with you after all-. You setting the the two of you as the “in crowd”, the cool guys who get it and laugh at the world together.
You can use the exact same way technique in talking well about positive topics you can associate with yourself. Example, men who give women the experience of their lives.
How To Respond To a Compliment
You need the right mindset to use a woman’s compliment to your advantage.
It’s important, key and fundamental that you don’t just take the compliment for a compliment’s sake. Don’t be that guy in need of an ego stroking.
Even more important, don’t take those compliments as to assert your coolness over hers (I can tell you from first hand experience: I used to be that guy, thanks God, many years ago).
This ain’t a war, this is a team’s expedition. You’re the Shepard, and you better make sure you bring both of you along a pleasurable path 😉
So here’s how you react to a “forced” compliment:
What you don’t do:
- You DON’T keep aggrandizing yourself -that’s ego validation seeking- and
- You don’t let the silence drag too long for her to think “oh my god, I went too far and showed all my cards”. The risk is she feels ashamed and self-reject
What you do:
- You say “thank you” because it cements her compliment as a fact and makes it even more real.
- You move the conversation forward and reward her by finding out who she is and showing appreciation. And you get closer at the same time
- If you get to know her properly, this is optional. But you can always compliment her too.
Example: “thank you, I also think you’re sexy. We’re two sexy people (smile)”. This also builds an “us” frame which is very good for you (Leil Lowndes also talks about it).
When do you make HER Compliment You?
DO: At the beginning
You want do get her to compliment you early on in the conversation, or during the first “date” latest.
It’s because during that time it’s still not obvious she likes you. Having her openly admit she does will make things move quicker for you.
Better Not: When Better Alternatives Are Available
Have the two you been talking for a while and it’s going well? Or is the atmosphere very sexual? Then you might even not make her compliment you and instead invite her to leave with you.
Better NOT: After you’ve already had sex
She’s already given your her vote of trust if you’ve had sex. And if hopefully you’re doing things good forcing a compliment can sound too gamey and could make you come across as validation seeking.
Absolutely NOT: After sex if you don’t want a relationship
Stating her liking “officializes” her liking and might as well make her fall harder for you. And compliments usually beget compliments back (rule of reciprocity), which will push you two closer. If you don’t want a relationship you can see why that’s dangerous territory.
SUMMARY: How to Make HER Compliment You
If you don’t get the women -and people- around you to verbalize and confirm their fondness of you you’re missing out on a great influencing tool which is BOTH flirtatious and effective.
You learned in this post that you take (or move) the conversation into a general positive topic and then make it specific about you and feed it to her to repeat and confirm.
Give it a spin and lemme know how it goes, I’m cheering for you.