How to Make Someone Love You Forever in 90 Minutes or Less sets very high expectations with that title. Whether or not it delivers, it’s a different question.
- Love is about emotional progression
- Find out as many “me too” moments in the beginning of the conversation as possible
Me too moments
Nicholas Boothman says that love is an emotional progression. Early on it’s important to find out the commonalities and letting your speaking partner open up. Once people open up and you underline the commonalities with a sprinkling of “me too” moments -which the author suggests to actually blurt it out, then people will get the impression of being soulmates.
If you’re a man “me too” will slot you as the follower. If you’re a woman, it might indeed make the man feel connected and can help speed up the romance progression. Don’t exaggerate though or you come across as insincerely forcing a connection and a bit too easy to get.
One example highlighted by Nicholas Boothman is quite a powerful approach template.
A man who later recounted the story to the author was on a train when he heard two women speaking. He wanted to approach one of them. He goes to the seat next to them and with a calm voice tells to the friend of the woman he likes:
“hi, excuse me”
then starts addressing the woman he’s interested in with a “you and I” gesture as he speaks
“hello, do you mind if I say something, something personal”
“I’m not sure”
“as we’ve been riding in the train the last half hour and you were chatting with your friend I couldn’t help but overhearing you”
(pause for attention).
“And I wanted to say, you have the most beautiful voice”
“I find it very attractive”
“I was wondering what you would say if I invited you out for lunch” (nodding)
“I don’t think so but I’m very flattered” (seemed genuinely amused)
“I’ll tell you what, here’s my business card, I’m going back to NY on Wednesday (…) think about it and when it’s appropriate give me a call, or if you change your mind you can email me tonight and maybe we can pencil a lunch tomorrow, your choice”
Smiled, turned to the journalist and said “thanks”.
Then got up and left the train
Nicholas Boothman says that what was good about the approach is that he paced the ongoing reality to make her feel relaxed, drawing attention to 3 obvious true things you agree with. ie.:
- they were in a train
- moving along for 30 mins
- was lost in conversation
He used subtle body language nodding his head.
When suggesting she should call him once ready, he was giving suggestions, and the secret is to let those parts stand out from the rest of the conversation by changing tone of voice and body language.
He also kept looking at her eyes while being physically still, so she could fully focus on his voice.
Little Practical Application
I found few things that you could actually put to use
How to Make Someone Love You Forever in 90 Minutes or Less seems more targeted to the completely socially oblivious
Click Bait Title
I find the clickbait title a bit annoying. But we’re all guilty of it, me included. And it’s no different for Fuck Him, The Power of The Pussy etc.
I read the book some months ago and didn’t remember much. I consulted the notes I always take and there weren’t many. Both aren’t good signs.