Without long preambles, this is a list of the most empowering book for women:
8. Women Who Love Too Much
By Robin Norwood
Frankly, only a minority of women fall in the “women who love too much” category.
Still, albeit the numbers may be low, the downsides of being one of them are very large, so it might make sense to give this wonderful book a read.
Quote: The choice is yours. If you choose to begin the process of recovery, you will change from a woman who loves someone else so much it hurts into a woman who loves herself enough to stop the pain.
7. Will I Ever Be Good Enough
By Karil Mcbride
Same as above: few women are the daughters of narcissistic mothers.
But the reasons why this wonderful book makes the list of “best self-help books for women” are twofold:
- Untreated lack of maternal love be disastrous
- It makes a good guide on one of the most harmful mistake a mother can make
Quote: Most damaging is that a narcissistic mother never approves of her daughter simply for being herself, which the daughter desperately needs in order to grow into a confident woman.
6. Who’s Pulling Your Strings
By Harriet Braiker
Your manual against manipulation.
Together with “Why Does He Do That” and “Emotional Blackmail“, this is your guide to avoid falling into the trap of manipulative, abusive, and/or controlling men.
- Types of abusive men: your guide to abusive men, crucial to avoid toxic relationships
5. The Woman’s Guide to How Men Think
By Shawn Smith
We’ve seen a few books to avoid the value-taker.
Now a book to understand the male point of view in relationships.
Smith says he writes from the point of view “good men”, such as manly men who invest, but also strive to better themselves and their lives outside of the relationship, and I think he does a good job at that.
This book can help you understand male psychology in a practical way that will help improve your relationship.
Quote: Good men are dutiful men. They want to be effective in their lives, their careers, and their relationships.
4. Assertiveness For Women
By Julie Hanks
Assertiveness is as important to men, as it is women -OK, it’s even more important for men, but still very important for women as well-.
On the con side, unluckily the author of this book seems to buy into the current (unhelpful) culture that men and women should be the same, so we don’t get a book that is about assertiveness and femininity at the same time.
On the plus side, it’s still a great book.
3. Dating Power Dynamics
By Lucio Buffalmano
The best manual for effective dating and dating strategies.
2. Hardball For Women
By Pat Heim
OK, we’ve seen plenty of books about dating and relationships.
And before anyone writes me saying “women aren’t only interested in finding a good man” :), here is one of the best books for women who seek business success.
Let me preface by saying that “Hardball for Women” is best for women in business, but female entrepreneurs will still have much to learn.
If the previous book was about “understanding men in relationships”, this is about “understanding men in business”. And since most businesses are still dominated by men -and will likely be so in the future-, then this is an important read for women.
- Career University: simply the best resource for women who seek career success
- How to Win at Work: the businesswoman’s guide to winning at work
- How Men Keep Women Down: intersexual competition focused on the workplace
Quote: Power is an uncomfortable subject for many. In fact, women tell us they don’t want to deal with that “power stuff” because they aren’t “power hungry.” They act as if power is a social disease to be avoided at all costs.
1. The Myth of The Nice Girl
By Fran Hauser
Mandatory reading if you’re going for “Hardball for Women” or similar titles like “Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office“.
Because these books are teaching women to be more like men.
But that’s not the solution.
Or, at least, it comes with some major downsides.
Much better is to seek personal success while also retaining femininity, which is a power tool of its own.
Fran Hauser calls the mindset of “having to be tough to succeed” a “myth”.
She says instead that she’s achieved plenty of success while still being kind and caring.
- How to be feminine: the basic “start here” resource
- How to combine power and femininity: a preview from “Power University”
Quote: Make them a part of the process. By making it clear that you are looking to collaborate instead of compete, you’ll earn their trust and their respect.
Be Careful With:
Plenty of books are advertised as “by women, for women”.
Still, that it’s written by a woman and for women doesn’t necessarily make it empowering for women.
Here are some titles to be careful with:
- Girl Wash Your Face: OK book with a lot of general self-help principles. But watch out for that re-hashed thing of “be confident”.
- Daring Greatly: Great book, actually. But you need to be aware of the limitations of vulnerabilities. And an antifragile ego is a far better tool against shame.
Avoid These Traps:
- The Universe Has Your Back: you’re better off making sure, rather than trusting. Trusting might you make feel better, but won’t necessarily make you better off.
- The Secret: just skip it
- Unleash Your Inner Money Babe: the full title of this book should tell you everything: “Uplevel Your Money Mindset and Manifest $1,000 in 21 Days”
- Lucky Bitch / Get Rich Lucky Bitch: the only one who might get rich is the author. But you’ll most likely stay poor with the law of attraction (plus: never buy a book that calls you, the buyer, a “bitch”).
Permission to be frank here:
These books are the real reason why women earn less than men.
Yes, there might be some bias in the gender gap, and a good chunk of that gap is because of different evolutionary drives.
But a part of that is also because men are less likely to fall for the BS spouted by the above books.
Successful men don’t waste their time wishing to wish things into reality.
They make plans grounded on reality, they seek reality-based feedback -however harsh that might be-, and they work to turn their wishes into reality.
They don’t say “the universe has my back”, they say “I’m gonna make a dent in the university”.
Big freaking difference, no?
Luckily, if you’re reading here, you’re a smart gal, so you’re less likely to fall for the above.
And with this list -and this website-, you have all the best tools available to you for a successful and happy life.