The Game is the story of how Neil Strauss got into the (then) budding community of pick up artists.
He describes his experience and the pick up community with a beautifully written prose in an overall very entertaining book. But not great as an actual dating resource.
- Bullet Summary
- Full Summary
- Chapter 1: Select a Target
- Chapter 2: Approach and Open
- Chapter 3: Demonstrate Value
- Chapter 4: Disarm the Obstacles
- Chapter 5: Isolate the Target
- Chapter 6: Create an Emotional Connection
- Chapter 7: Extract to a Seductive Location
- Chapter 8: Pump the Temperature
- Chapter 9: Make a Physical Connection
- Chapter 10: Blast Last-Minute Resistance
- Chapter 11: Manage Expectations
- Practical Applications
- Neil Strauss Interview
- Lower her self esteem with “negging”
- Show your high value (with stories, magic tricks, social skills etc.)
- Move her somewhere private
Chapter 1: Select a Target
The idea is that you approach within 3 seconds of seeing the girl you like. Girls standing physically near to you or dressed in bright colors or skimpy clothing make for good targets.
Chapter 2: Approach and Open
The approach depends a lot on the situation, but the book relies a lot on Mystery, author of The Mystery Method. Mystery was all about “owning” the group and showing your qualities by entering a group and becoming the center of attention.
Some of the most popular openers on 1:1 situations are about asking an opinion, such as what gift a guy should make to a woman or “who lies more, men or women”.
this does not seem a good technique to me as it’s very friendly. Approaching a random girl to ask for an opinion when you’re actually interested in more gives off major alarm bells in her head that you’re interested but don’t have the pelotas to be more direct. And if she believes you’re not interested… Then you’re her friend.
Another famous technique is that of “negging” the target, which means giving a back handed compliment or a slight offensive remark. The idea is to lower her self esteem so that she will be easier to get and more dependent on your approval.
Chapter 3: Demonstrate Value
Demonstrating value means showing off your qualities. Mystery was a magician and he’d use to perform tricks, so the whole community started getting into tricks to impress women at the bars.
Neil Strauss also describes going around with a bag will all the tools to perform magic and even a pack of pictures to show women. Those pictures showed him doing cool activities and being social, all aimed at “showing high value”.
Of course, the tricks are at high, high risk of making you look like a jester who’s there to entertain her instead of, say, the guy who’s there to make her horny and take her to bed. Also there’s a big imbalance of effort as you spend lots of efforts as she’s the judge of your performance.
Chapter 4: Disarm the Obstacles
Disarming the obstacles refer to dealing with friends who want to take her away from you, female leader of the group who doesn’t like you and other men who would rather make you look like an idiot.
Check this article for men hitting on your girlfriend.
Chapter 5: Isolate the Target
Once you’re in the group and everyone think you’re cool you will want to move the girl you like away from her group. If you have a wingman he can help you by taking her of her friend for example
Chapter 6: Create an Emotional Connection
Once you are alone with the target it’s the time to create an emotional connection.
Chapter 7: Extract to a Seductive Location
You will want to eventually move the girl in a more secluded location where you can escalate physically.
Chapter 8: Pump the Temperature
Once you’re alone with the woman, you want to make her excited.
Check this article for a great guide on text flirting.
Chapter 9: Make a Physical Connection
A physical connection is when you start to get touchy feely with the girl.
The Game had many stories of guys who tried to hypnotize girls and then slowly touching them more and more intimately.
Chapter 10: Blast Last-Minute Resistance
Last minure resistance are what happens when you go home, are possibly kissing, but she is resisting full sex. One of the most popular methods to address last minute resistances was that of “freezing her out”, such as completely ignoring her and doing your own thing in the house.
My Note: this one can often actually work and will get her to re-initiate and try to get your attention. You have to be careful though that she was into you and does not see your stepping back as a final refusal, because if that’s the case she will close off, write you off.. And hate you for it too :).
Chapter 11: Manage Expectations
Managing expectation is the phase happening after you slept with her. It sometimes also means handling her attempts to lock you up in a relationships.
Go For It
The drive to self improvement and going for it even when you’re uncomfortable is one of the main positive lessons from The Game
Be a Challenge
The idea of being a challenge is also something many man lack and turning the tables is what differentiates men who chase women from those who get social dynamics a bit more (albeit in the book many times the guys overdo it and that’s not effective anymore).
I always felt this book was all about shallow candy pills for the ego than actual results. Even the night that Neil Strauss says consecrated him as the best Pick Up Artist it’s about him kissing the -supposedly- hottest girl of the club. Now albeit that was a super interesting story and he did use some interesting techniques, “making out with her” is not real results to me.
Outside of teen-ager life making out means little.
Many of the techniques explained are not just bad, but some even counterproductive when it comes to both seduction and even to appearing like a “high value man”.
Most of these guys weren’t getting laid, including the “masters”. Neil Strauss doesn’t say it as clearly, but the moment Mystery announced that phone numbers were “wood” -such as useless- it’s because they couldn’t get girls to see them again, which tells you a lot about how successful they really were.
Albeit some have called into question the veracity of some parts of the book, Neil Strauss writes well and The Game is a whole interesting and entertaining read.
The Real Man Behind The Mask Shines Through
What I liked most was that Neil, albeit at times a big self-promotional, is also oftentimes honest and sincere. He shares with the readers the real feelings he had, including his fears and insecurities of not being strong or cool enough.
That the courage of vulnerability -also read Daring Greatly-, and that’s something that not many authors can do.
Neil Strauss Interview
I have an analysis of Neil Strauss interview against a very aggressive host.
Check it out here:
Note: please note this video is NOT a critic of Neil Strauss. The guy was, in many ways, revolutionary. This is an socio-dynamics analysis, and that was a very difficult situation to manage.
The Game by Neil Strauss gets a lot of flack and criticism for being misogynistic and for “tricking” and cajoling women.
The problem for me though is that the advise is often plainly bad and at times even counterproductive.
Neil Strauss, the author, had much better people’s skills than Mystery and other people in the book and you can see he’s a charmer type of guy (check The Art of Seduction). Albeit he wasn’t very smooth when facing strong challenges as you can see in this interview review I’ve done.
What Neil Strauss was certainly good at though is writing. I would give the book a 2-2.5 stars for seduction value and 5 stars for entertainment value.
If you’re interested in seduction, check my many summaries on the subject here.
Get The Game
If you want to read how the pick-up community started in an entertaining written prose, Get The Game on Amazon. Otherwise check out the best red pill books, the best books and the all the reviews at once.