In You Can Read Anyone David Lieberman teaches how to read people and understand what they are thinking and when and if they are hiding anything.
Summary
These are my main takeaways from “You Can Read Anyone“:
Find Out if Someone’s Lying
To find out if someone is lying you can’t ask directly or they will go on the defensive and clam up.
Instead, you want to ask them if they can help you with something. For example, ask if they can help you find out who’s been stealing from the office.
If they ask questions, offer advice, and help. it’s a good sign.
If they become uneasy and change the subject, you can almost rest assured he’s guilty.
My Note: This is an indicator, but it won’t give you a final answer
This is an indicator at best.
The best liars will ask questions and pretend to help as well.
People Use “I” When Feeling Confident
When we are confident about something we tend to use the pronoun “I”, “we” or “us”.
When we want to distance ourselves, we don’t take ownership.
If your boss says about your idea “I like it”, it’s a good sign. If they say “it’s nice”, you can guess they are less enthusiastic about it.
How to Find Out If Someone’s A Good Friend
How do you find out if someone’s a friend or a frenemy?
Tell them something important which has happened in your life.
If they don’t ask about it later on, it’s a bad sign. David Lieberman also says you can drop hints to help them remind and give them a chance to ask.
My Note: Great idea. Not just for friends actually, but to recognize socially intelligent and/or supportive people
I think this is a good idea: a good friend should care and ask. However, it’s not necessarily a measure of friends but also a measure of emotional intelligence.
Also read: signs of frenemies.
Self-Esteem and Ego
The analysis of ego and self-esteem was one of my favorite parts of the book.
- Diminished ego & high self-esteem = humble person
- Large ego & low self-esteem = arrogant
The most dangerous to others are huge egos and low self-esteem (direct negativity towards others).
The most dangerous to him is dented ego and low self-esteem (more inclined to direct negativity inward).
The author says that one cannot have high self-esteem and a large ego.
CONS
- Big, Unrealistic Claims
I’m not a big fan of how Liberman picks his books’ titles.
And the parameter of choice seems to be “the bigger the claim, the better the title” :).
His previous book for example was called “How to Make Someone Fall In Love With You in 90 Minutes or Less“.
And in this book, he says:
This technique virtually guarantees that you can find out within minutes if someone has something to hide
Wait a second… Guarantees?? BS!
PROS
- Good analysis of ego and self-esteem and how they intersect with each other
- Loved the tip on how to differentiate between good and supportive friends
Review
I’m not a big fan of the bombastic title, but there are a couple of good ideas here there.
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