You Can Read Anyone is David Lieberman’s book on, well.. Reading anyone.
I particularly dislike big claims like Liberman’s titles, and found the book on the underwhelming side.
You Can Read Anyone – Summary
These are my main takeaways of You Can Read Anyone:
Find Out if Someone’s Lying
To find out if someone is lying you can’t ask directly or they will go on the defensive and clam up.
Instead, you want to ask them if they can help you with something. For example, ask if they can help you find out who’s been stealing from the office.
If they ask questions, offer advice and help. it’s a good sign.
If they become unease and change the subject, you can almost rest assured he’s guilty.
This is an indicator at best.
The best liars will ask questions and pretend to help as well.
We Use “I” When Confident
When we are confident about something we tend to use the pronoun “I”, “we” or “use”.
When we want to distance ourselves, we don’t take ownership.
If your boss says about your idea “I like it”, it’s a good sign. If they say “it’s nice”, you can guess they are less enthusiastic about it.
How to Find Out if Someone’s A Good Friend
How do you find out if someone’s a friend or a frenemy?
Tell them something important which has happened in your life.
If they don’t ask about it later on, it’s a bad sign. David Lieberman also says you can drop hints to help them remind and give them a chance to ask.
I think this is a good idea: good friend should care and ask. However, it’s not necessarily a measure for friends but also a measure for emotional intelligence.
Also read: signs of frenemies.
Self-Esteem and Ego
The analysis of ego and self-esteem was by far my favorite part of You Can Read Anyone.
- Diminished ego & high self-esteem = humble person
- Large ego & low self-esteem = arrogant
The most dangerous to others are huge ego and low self-esteem (directs negativity towards others).
The most dangerous to himself is dented ego and low self-esteem (more inclined to direct negativity inward).
The author says that one cannot have high self-esteem and large ego.
- Big, Unrealistic Claims
This is what I don’t like about the author, which holds true for his previous book “How to Make Someone Fall In Love With You in 90 Minutes or Less”.. Yes, it’s the huge big claims.
Here he says:
This technique virtually guarantees that you can find out within minutes if someone has something to hide
Wait a second… Guarantees?? BS!
Good analysis of ego and self-esteem and how they intersect with each other.
The analysis of ego and self-esteem was the saving grace of How to Read Anyone
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