(OPTIONAL) Why Not Win-Lose?

Topic
Curriculum

First things first:

We do not rule out win-lose.
It can be more effective, as well as fair 🔜.

Hence:

Why don’t we make win-lose one of our general principles, then?

In brief:

  1. Smaller market: it’s less appealing. For the obvious reason that people prefer what makes them better off. Some suckers can fall for it. But non-suckers see through it. Win-win, obviously, has a much broader appeal.
  2. High-quality people don’t take win-lose, and even less stick with it. And you’re better off with high-quality people in your life
  3. Tenuous relationships: even when you find some suckers, many will eventually open their eyes
    Example: many alumni ended up after they started realizing the win-lose they were in. Or they dropped those win-loses as they empowered themselves with PU
  4. Endless churn and hard to replicate. Life and/or business are revolving doors. You’re constantly looking for a new sucker.
    It’s often higher ROI to offer win-wins, be an honorable man, and attract and stick with high-value, high-quality people. Most world-class companies (or life) operate that way.
  5. Bent personality. “✒️ Walk with a limp, and you learn to limp”.
    If you seek win-loses, you risk internalizing that approach to life.
    • Bent personality seeps through. Just as we said for the honorable character.
      Studies also show that people are not as good at swaying others as they think.
  6. Reputational risk, lots of badly skewed win-loses are what abusers and sons of bitches do. There are only so many win-loses you can have before people start disliking you, hating you, plotting against you, or avoiding you. And then you’re forced to move.
  7. Quality of life issues.
    • Lower quality people in your life, making them even worse off and unhappy
    • More people will resent you
    • Self-esteem and self-love. This won’t matter to some psychopaths, but most people aren’t psychopaths. You’ll need much mental gymnastics to maintain a good image of yourself

Of course, as always, there are exceptions and nuances.

Even within longer-term win-win, momentary win-loses are normal.
But that doesn’t mean the whole relationship is win-lose.

There are also grey areas where a small-ish loss for others on something that’s very important to you can be “fair enough”.

And, finally, there are times when win-lose is even fair and ethical.

Still, as a general rule, the high-level approach stands.
Generally aim for win-win and keep your relationships win-win.