Some good real-life examples of effective straight behavior:

1. Straightness VS “Nice But Fake” (Jorge Lorenzo)

This is one of my favorite examples in this whole course.

Quick background:

Rossi and Lorenzo are two fast motorbike racers.
They were teammates, and Rossi risented the upstart Lorenzo.
There was much verbal tension, and some tough moves on track.

Rossi then left the team and failed to win with Ducati.
He wanted back to his favorite Yamaha.

But this time the champion was Lorenzo.
Lorenzo could have stopped Rossi from coming back, but didn’t.
That improved their relationship and it seemed like the two were “cool”.

But Lorenzo doesn’t hide the truth.
His reply is perfect:

Interviewer: (after Lorenzo talks up Rossi as a great champion)
So in the past 2 years you’ve been like two old friends again…

Lorenzo: No, I don’t think we are friends <— Openly states the truth

(…) it’s difficult to be friends with a rival. Rivals with two strong characters, two riders who want to win.
But the most important thing is to have respect, and I have huge respect for Vale, and I think he has the same for me <— Moves to a collaborative, win-win frame

We are great champions, and we are some of the best in history <— Ends with a collaborative frame including all 3 of them, very leader-like

Rossi: (nods, then follows Lorenzo’s example and builds him up as well)

What a G.

As a Rossi fanboy, I disliked Lorenzo.
But after a few of those straight moments, I respect him.
A lot.

2. Honor In The Lie (Woman About Ex Lovers)

Self-serving lies are rarely honorable.

But some are “understandable”.

And sometimes, you can still come out honorable if you react well after you’ve been found out.

Example with a woman I dated:

Her: (talking about ourselves, it comes up she had had 5 lovers)
Me: So it’s 5 lovers you had. The other time you said 4 (looks at her inquisitively)
Her: (silence, looks away and down as if guilt-ridden. But doesn’t deny, defend, or manipulate)
Me: Was it because you wanted to make it seem like you had fewer sexual partners?
Her: Yes (silence, adds nothing. Owns it and owns the pressure)

I still remember that very well.

And I respected her a lot.

Of course, context matters.
Her original lie was small and close to what was (likely) the truth.

3. Honesty (Ali Scarlett & TPM Developer)

Ali: Albeit you sent me $360, we only paid $150

Pocketing the difference would have been easy.
Reporting the facts was honorable.

⛏️ 3.2. TPM Developer

Why I love and respect this man so much

4. Honor In Crime (Mobster Carlo Gambino)

Criminal organizations also value honor.

In Italian, mafia members refer to made men as “uomo d’onore”.

Literally translated, it means “honorable man”.

Part of that honor revolves around mannish ideals of:

• Masculinity
• Loyalty
  • Keeping one’s mouth shut when caught to protect the in-group
• Effectiveness
• Stoicism

Sometimes, it extends to traditional values and respecting one’s word and allies in all areas of life.
See a good example from Carlo Cambino, a highly esteemed boss:

Gambino: (calls one of his men who is out dining with his affair partner) Let me ask you something Taro. Do you love me?
Taro: Of course Carlo, of course I love you
Gambino: I hope you don’t love me like you love your wife. Now go sit with your commare

Gambino shamed Taro for not being honest to his wife.

In Gambino’s honorable system of values, your partner is a close relationship.
And a person you care and take care of.
By publicly parading his lover, Taro didn’t keep his marriage vows. And publicly shamed and disrespected his wife.

And that was not honorable.

Gravano goes on to comment that “this is Cosa Nostra”.
The organization he was obviously proud to be part of (because of its honorable system of values).

Gravano may exaggerate things and self-promotes quite hard.

But it still tells you something that he looks up to an honorable man, even if within a criminal organization.

Many men are like that.

Embody these values personally or in your organization, and many men will want to follow and join.

5. Honorable Heroes (All Heroes & Myths)

People long for heroes.

And heroes are often honorable to a fault.

Hollywood tells heroes’ stories to endear (mostly male) audiences.

Militaries promote cultures of courage and heroism to get the most out of soldiers.

And empires worship heroes and “patriots” to strengthen the empire.

Rome talked up -or made up- the story of Marcus Atilius, the man who went back to Carthage to be tortured -just so that he could keep his word-.

This all works.
Children of the empires look up to Atilius, and want to be like him.

Watch out for honor though because it can be manipulative.

Should you die for the “glory of the empire”?
Or to benefit those who lead it?

So be careful on how and who is encouraging others to live up to honorable virtues.

6. Speaking Up Against Bullying (Lucio)

The high school professor was strict, but generally good.

But this time when she berated my classmate it bordered into bullying.

The whole class plunged into silence.

I thought it was not cool.
And during an intense pause, I said:

(Long intense pause)
Me: Nut it’s not like she did anything so bad

The words themselves were poor.

But you know the drill: you don’t need perfection.

The sub-communication was still strong:

I disapprove, and I’m speaking it out.
Another classmate supported me.
Then a general murmur arose from everyone: the whole class didn’t appreciate.

The professor laughed.
She realized she had exaggerated, and owned it.
And then said to the girl she was yelling at:

“See? That’s the type of guy you need”.

Funny enough, the professor herself in the end acted honorably and soared higher.

7. Owning Up Wealth & Drive to Wealth (Jordan Peterson)

The interviewer tried to frame Jordan Peterson’s wealth as “ill-gotten”.

Jordan Peterson handles it well:

Peterson: Exploiting it, or helping it? <— Challenges the original frame with his own frame, without defending or attacking back. He makes the interviewer seem biased and nasty
I’m an evil capitalist I don’t make any bones about it, I’m not ashamed of making money. It’s very hard to make money (goes on to say how much he makes)

“Evil capitalist” was a terrible self-frame.

But the spirit of owning it was good.

8. Dark Side of Straight Talk

Most techniques can be used for good or “not-so-good” purposes.

High power straight talk is no different.

Part of the allure of straight talk is that it’s almost always high power.
And it’s often honorable as well.

But not always.

Assholes can straight talk too.

And most people don’t need to see an honorable character to be impressed.
They’re taken in by the power and brashness and look up to the dominant man no matter what.

Many good people aren’t even able to assess a good character.

And manipulators can strategically own 10% of the truth while manipulating the rest.

For example, Roman Polansky:

Roman Polansky: Well, I like young women, and I think most of men do, actually

The straight talk admits to his sexual tastes and owns a general “uncomfortable truth”.
The manipulation is calling a 13 years old “young woman”.

8.2. Trump – Straight Talking lies: the power of brash, unfiltered speaking

Trump, a frequent “twister of truth” has a reputation as a straight talker with many.

How is that possible?

Some reasons:

• High power is impressive to many men, no matter how it’s used
• Naivete, and some people can’t see poor characters
• Speaking uncomfortable truths that other politicians don’t.
• Speaking people’s dark feelings, including racist ones, they don’t dare to say themselves. But they’re happy to rally behind the “strong man” who speaks for them

The excesses of “woke culture” in that sense immensely helped Trump.
It provided an annoying sense of “having to censor oneself” that many disliked. And Trump became the voice of everyone who didn’t want to hide (their) truth.