Boracay: 9/10
Women: 6/10
- Beauty Rating: 7 / 10
- Quality of Girls: locals: 2 / 10; travelers: 6/ 10
- Ease of Hooking Up: 6 / 10
- Relationship potential: 1 / 10
It's not easy to rate girls here because the majority of women are travelers.
However, it's not much a destination for high-class travelers, so most of the foreigners, which are either Korean, Chinese and recently Russians, rarely speak good English.
The local women are mostly immigrants here, doing menial jobs or selling themselves (prostitutes).
The few who were born here have little education and little drive. Small islands make for simple lives, and you won't find sophistication here.
Chances for hooking up are high among travelers, as in all tourist destinations. But I only rated as 6 because the dating apps and night spots are filled with professional hookers and ladyboys, so you need to wade through those before finding a normal one. Many of them will also be around during the day, of course, so you always need to watch out.
Ladyboys Hustling
As it's the case for many tourist destinations in SE Asia, there are a lot of ladyboys.
And they are particularly annoying.
If you're a white guy walking by the beach at night by yourself, you will be harassed many times.
Some of the bars don't let the most obvious ladyboys in -good idea-, but the LBs will keep hanging out right by the exit, which is a pity since I love standing right outside as it makes for more natural conversations.
If you're white and standing outside one of the popular bars -Exit, for example- get ready to be harassed every 2 minutes, sometimes with the same ones coming back for another chance -you never know maybe you change your sexual tastes in 2 minutes-.
A Travel Pal
This was the first time since I started traveling in October in which I made a traveler friend and we often went out together.
It was really good to have a friend to meet up with, talk, eat, and walk around.
The first time I approached a girl I thought he wasn't going to be the perfect guy with whom to meet women. He came over and joked that "I was just out of a psychiatric ward". I thought he was going to ruin all my interactions like that.
But I was wrong: the guy had game! He had a different style that complemented mine. He was very social and talkative, keeping the mood light and able to carry over much of the conversation while instead I sat back and did little.
He picked up a girl on our first evening together.
Unluckily, it wasn't a girl :D. If he had read my guide on how to spot ladyboys he would have spared himself a rather traumatic experience. I won't go into details since I'm posting a picture :).
I teased him a few times about it, but not too much because I know it can be a traumatic experience ("hey bro, are you seeing the girl from the other night today? :D")
Luckily, he picked up a tourist on the day after, who was a real woman. That's the best way to bounce back from such a bad experience.
I missed him when he left before I did.
Striking Out With Tourists
The second night my friend came over under my hut while I showered and from the window told there were two pretty tourists "waiting for us".
That's a good attitude :D.
We are staying in a hostel which has a food and drink areas, turning a bit into a karaoke / DJ set in the evening, and I tell him to go sit by them right away before someone else will.
When I go out my man is sitting right beside them, entertaining them in conversation. Masterful.
I am short, bold, and ugly.
But I still made sure to walk there slowly and right in the middle of all the tables: I'd rather be seen first than come around from the side as if I were afraid of peering eyes.
I greet him first when I got there, and I take my time to talk to him. Greeting the girls first would have sent a bad message that I'm there for them. Then I introduce myself to the other two.
Of course he picked the prettier one to sit by: MF :D.
My friend's girl had that slight chubbiness that goes perfectly well with her naive-acting personality. When she danced the Boracay song mimicking the waves' motion she'd send out those mix of sexual and baby vibes that makes men to both want to ravish a girl, and protect her. A great seductive mix. The fact I looked at her quite oftne might have been one of the reasons "my" girl got competitive towards the end. Referring to me she said to my friend "he doesn't like me".
I'm thinking whether I would enjoy having sex with my girl.
I'm not 100% sure: she seemed more on the chubbier side, and that's not my type of body. But I thought I could.
My friend carries over most of the conversation so I can just sit back and relax. Great: I don't like being the one who has to carry the whole weight of the conversation.
Plus, as an introvert who's just come out of his room, straight into a noisy and party place, I wouldn't have been very good at it.
Still, I am getting very good signs from my girl.
The music is loud, and when I talk to her, she doesn't get very close, but places her right hand on me.
She is going to the bathroom, and putting make up on.
Another good sign.
Later on, she asks me to take picture with her. Another very good sign. And she takes a whole bunch of them. Another good sign:
Then she sends a couple of our pictures to her sister and, under my teasing, she writes her "handsome".
Yet another good sign.
It's still early and group dynamics are always full of variables, but so far, I'm seeing a lot of good signs.
After a while people start dancing on the tables.
Good thing my friend is down for that, so he keeps the link going between us and them. He's doing most of the work so far.
At this point, I'd like to make things happen, also for my friend.
He likes his girl, plus he's never been with a woman from that country -thank Goodness I'm past the "taking the flag" idiocy-. And, most of all, he needs to rebound from his ladyboy experience from the night after.
Unluckily, things turn colder between me and my girl and, worst of all, I'm not sure what's the culprit.
She gets deep into her phone, and cuts herself out from the conversation.
I see two big red hearts in her chat, and I'm thinking she might have a BF.
The tendency for most men here would be to try to engage her and talk to her more. But I resist and just let it play out. My friend calls her out on her cutting herself off: great move. It's safe for him to do it, but if I had done it, it might have come across as chase-y.
My friend in the meanwhile is deep with her girl.
He does most of the talking and the body language is that it's him pointed towards her all the time. Not the best, but she seems to be enjoying. At a certain point, my friend is putting his hand around her neck as a joke -what a bold move!-.
I take the opportunity to ask my girl if she likes that and sexualize the conversation.
She doesn't get the sexual innuendo, and it backfires. I manage to recover it without coming across as a weirdo, which is sometimes a risk when you get heavy into sexual stuff.
I took a risk here: if she went along, it would have been golden. But it didn't, and this sexual gambit was not good for our chemistry.
The night is wrapping up here and the hostel organizes a group to go to a nearby club.
I'm hoping we don't need to go there, and luckily the girls say they don't want to go because they need to wake up early for their flights.
I'm starting to go for the pull now.
I tell my girl to go over (to my place) so I can show her something. She resists, and I say it's very near and it only takes 10 seconds to get there. Standard stuff, but standard stuff can backfire when the girl is not yet sold ot it.
Indeed, when she says "but we only stay 10 seconds", I'm not getting a good vibe. She is also in a less friendly mood now, almost a confrontatioanl frame.
If I were alone, I wouldn't have pulled here. At the very least, I would have said somethig along these lines:
"look, we don't need to make a contract about exactly how long we'll stay. We go, and if enjoy, we stay longer. If not, we might cut it even short than 10 seconds. OK?"
But I'm hoping that if I go for a while, my friend will be able to go with his girl, so I take.
Before going, they talk in their language a bit, and then I take her along.
On the way, I take her hand because I want to reframe this as more of a collaboration. At least she does take my hand, albeit the walk is too short to change her mood significantly: it's crazy how sometimes you'd wish you had more time before getting to your place :D.
In front of the hut, she stands on the doorway. Always a very bad sign.
Then she switches the lights on from the outside, and in these little units there is just a big bed as soon as you get in. That might have worried a girl who was already more on the "no" side, and she turns around.
When we get back to the table, we talk more openly about our intentions.
My friend surprises me again in the positive: he takes my side to explain my girl that it's normal that, as a man, I want to spend time alone with her. He is both direct and tactful: great game.
Again, if I had said the same myself, it might have come across as chase-y, but since he is doing it for me, it just seems like talking good sense.
The two girls talk a lot in their language.
I tell her that her friend wants to spend time with my friend, albeit I'm not sure about it. And my girl says that her friend said the opposite.
My girl is the real leader, and after a failed pull, she seemed too far gone to be roped back in as the night is ending.
My friend would be OK to end up in a friendly way.
"If you don't want to spend time alone, it's OK if you go". But I'm of a different opinion: as long as they're there, we go for broke.
It's their last night here, so it makes sense to push it, even if pushing under these circumstances will most likely mean they will leave and remember us as two annoying men to avoid -that's what often happen during failed escalations-. Which is what happens: a few minutes later, my girl gets up and drags her friend away.
Somewhat surprisingly, the "annoying men" transformation didn't happen, though. The days after they both replied and even shared their pictures with us.
I will save their location when I'll travel there. Who knows, maybe one day..
Anyway, me and my friend aren't done yet, and we go out a bit later.
As we station outside of a bar, a group from our hostel passes by, and one of the girl is flirting with my friend with some Italian words and some insider jokes about my friend's singing -he had sang during the Karaoke bit of the evening-.
That stresses again the importance of "fame" as a dating strategy. Even if it's localized fame, it gave women a target and a reason to approach you. Which is exactly what happened.
My friend then stuck with that girl and slept with her. Wonderful: turning around a loss with a win soon after is one of the best sensations you can experience. And he really needed it to forget the ladyboy night :).
Striking Out Again
In the following days I also date a rich Chinese with a yacht, and a local hairdresser.
I made such a stupid mistake with the Chinese: our date was going very well. She asked if I liked wine and started making plans for wine a cheese in the next days.
And I played it aloof instead of scheduling -this was an advice I had read time ago, and it's another of those "general advices" which backfires as often as they work-.
Not scheduling the next date when she proposes one herself is good only if you plan on taking her home later, but since I already knew she couldn't, it was a big mistake.
Double mistake considering we were both staying here for a few more days only, which forced me to go for broke the day after and push to make it happen ASAP -ie.: chase like a bitch-.
Instead, I should have welcomed her suggestion, said it was a great idea, and made plans right away for the day after or the day after that.
The Hairdress and A Turn-Off Personality
The local hairdresser had a pretty face, but was truly not my kind of girl.
There is no good way of putting it, but her personality just made her truly unappealing. Complaining all the time, looking at the negatives of life, complaining she had not enough money for her kid... But then smoking and going to a bar every night "to help with the stress". When I told her she should stop smoking to save money, she said she wasn't able. And then she said that if she had money "she'd buy more cigarettes". Great... (eyeroll)
Add two hands that looked a lot like a guy's hands, and I you can see why I passed.
The Beach Romance
Luckily, a girl I met with my friend on the first evening out finally found the courage to come out and meet me.
This was such a crazy story how I met her for our date.
We had scheduled for 10pm and I was expecting her to text me when she got close to our meeting point.
So a bit before 10pm I was walking down the beach with my friend. As a girl hurredly walks by we both comment "how cute she was". Then we turn around to go to Exit, a popular local bar, and the "very cute girl" was just in front of it.
I approach her, and her reaction is just "off". She says nothing because she was so shy, but she was so natural and comfortable with my presence, as if she were waiting for me to lead her. That's when it dawns on me: this might be my date!
Damn :D.
On my partial defense, my friend was there when I first met her, and he didn't recognize her either -albeit to be honest, this isn't the first time it happens to me-.
So I pretend I knew it was her and I wasn't just approaching a random girl. I bid farewell to my friend, and we go sit on the beach -my friend very socially intelligent again there: cracks a joke to relax here, than builds me up, then says goodbye-.
We sit on the famous white beach, and she talks very little, still very shy.
I'm thinking that if she is this shy and asocial and still came out to meet me, she must like me a lot. Maybe we don't need to stop to a bar, but I can invite her straight to the resort.
You can probably guess what I I've done.
At the resort, we get a beer and sit in front of the porch.
We talk a bit more, but she's still quiet.
So I kiss her neck and she's very much into it.
This should be in the bag, so I don't rush it.
I talk a bit more, then kiss her neck again, then talk a bit more.
She hadn't been with a man in two years, she said.
As far as I know, it might have been true: as soon as I'd kisser her neck, she'd start moaning. That's a big turn on for me.
Plus, she kept repeating my name while I banged her, which is also a turn on.
How I invited her in was also iconic:
Me: When was the last time you dated a guy (looking at her extreme shyness, it was a normal question)
Her: I haven't been with a guy in two years
Me: Oh, wow. Let's change that right now (takes her hand, walks in, start having sex with her while standing, against the wall)
When I walked her back we stopped on the white beach as I waited for my friend.
We hugged and danced, both slow-moving dance, and on the more modern music coming from a bar nearby.
Not having a flash on this picture was a mistake.
But it was one of those mistakes that turned out better:
Sometimes all you need as a memory is a blurry picture
Finally now she opened up a bit more.
A brief romance, but beautiful.
Carmelo: From Hunger, to Millions
On the beach I also met a retired guy, with a few villas around the world.
He told me his story, how he worked s an hairstylist in Geneva, working for years as an employee, honing his craft.
Then bought the salon.
But he started off from shit.
Quite literally, handling cows' manure with his whole family.
They didn't have electricity at home, he never even learned to write or read.
And he told me of the days he went hungry. How the first time he walked into a salon asking to learn he was told to leave like he was dirt.
Good thing I was wearing sunglasses, I got misty eyed learning his story.
Hearing of people fighting their way through life's struggles always move me to tears. And that spirit is also one of the driving forces behind this website.
Food: 6/10
I often ate at the resort, but also tried a few restaurants.
"Lemoni" is a popular cafe I visited several times, a true white-man-SJW stronghold where they don't serve straws with their drinks so that the white people can feel less guilty about living (and then had stacks of paper in the bathroom to rinse your hands, one top of the other, so that if you took the first you'd wet the whole pack and people would end up using maybe 20 paper napkins at a time).
It was good, but overall didn't find anything that will make me thing in the future "I wish I could visit that restaurant today".
Beauty: 10/10
Boracay has become even more popular since I visited it a few years ago. When I visited it was before it closed down, and much has changed.
The beach is almost perfect, the water is clear, and the sunsets are breathtaking:
The moon at night is also breah taking.
They force-closed "Spider House", which was the best place to enjoy the sunset.
And because of safety reasons they're not going to replace it. That's a piece of Boracay that only the old-timers of this island now know about.
General Quality Of Life: 9/10
It's beach life.
High-quality beach life because the water is clean.
I'm torn by beach life.
In a way, I love it. On the other hand, I also love urban life.
Overall, I must take one point away from a perfect 10/10 for of three reasons:
- After the restructuring you can only drink inside bars/clubs/restaurant, so forget taking your drink outside or by the beach. That sucks in my opinion: I loved meeting and talking to people outside, but now only the ladyboys hang outside
- Solicitors on the beach that will approach you every 2 steps
- It's full of hookers and ladyboys
I remember playing Resident Evil on PS as a kid. And in the opening scene a guy would say "this whole city is infested by zombies".
Well, you could say the same about Boracay: "this whole island is infested by hookers and trans".
If you're not doing night life or if you're a girl it will not bother as much though -but some girls in the hostel said that if you're a white blond girl, rich Arabs might try to buy you in Station 3. You can always count a rich Arab to make it about money :)-.
No matter trans and hookers, in the end, I will once again miss Boracay:
This is a few minutes after sunset. Right after sunset, the sky is red. Then it turns of a mlder hue, more on the yellowish-end.