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Figuring out the best places to meet girls in my city
Hello!
So I've been actively learning about dating & seduction for one year because I don't have much experience in this area, my goal is to get dates with attractive woman younger than me (I'm a 37 year-old man) which can get to intimacy.
I've been doing A LOT of self-development work over the years with good results (financial & body / physical appareance greatly improved, also developed great knowledge about various technical topics) but dating is the thing I want & need to work on now as much as possible.
Thing is, I don't have a lot of opportunities to talk with girls since I work from home & only go out grocery shopping + gym + trading card tournaments (99.99% guys). I tried going out to night clubs for a few months but I had to go alone most of the time (I have friends but they are always busy with something) & couldn't get myself to start talking with girls (resistance comes up: "Why would they want to talk with an stranger? What would I even talk about if I know nothing about this person? etc.")
My city is small (********, 100.000 inhabitants), so it doesn't have that many social / group activities to join besides night life. Also tried online dating to no success (even hired a professional photographer for a photo shoot with brand new clothes & fresh haircut, but that didn't help).
Some pictures if you're wondering what I look like:
*************
Given all of the above I would like to request expert advice.
Thank you!
Hello Jesus C.
Starting frmo the fact that you're best placed to find out where to best meet women in your city, here's some idea:
- First start talking to girls. First things first, and it feels to me that before finding out where to meet girls in your city, you wanna start talking to them
- Give yourself permission to suck. If you're starting from zero, picking up right away is too big of a jump. Even exchanging contacts or getting dates may be too big of a jump in many cases. Start first with a goal that "you'll just say something"
- Go to the nearest big city and "game" there. Not even and not as much because "there are more" in the bigger city, but because it makes it easier and it's lower pressure since you'll be a stranger.
Once you're good enough to open, talk, exchange contacts and ideally set up a date or two, you can think about your own city as well - Go out doing the things you do but added time to meet women, but 1h earlier and stay 1h longer to meet prospects. You do the exact same you do now, but 1h earlier and 1h later you'll do some approaches
- Do more social activities with mixed groups. I think that if you found a trading card tournament, there probably must be something else as well. Even if you don't meet women there, it can help you get in a more social mood
Personally, I wouldn't necessarily give up on dating apps.
They're super tough, but if you can start getting matches it can make things easier -or it can simply be a great addition-.
If you haven't already, I'd consider the paid feature.
P.S.:
Saw your pics after my reply.
You look great.
But a bit "too Spanish in Spain", so not standing out.
If you moved to some other places where you're "different" you may get an immediate boost (SU talks about it, so no need to go deeper here).
Also, not sure those pics are representative of you of what you chose in your pfoile but you may come across a bit "nice", but potentially not edgy enough.
Don't take my words for golden since I may have a tendency to overdo edgy, but I'd advice to add some more intensity.
Thanks for you reply!
Would you recommend that I focus on daygame then? Do I just talk to any girl that I find interesting?
What about store workers?
There is a female pharmacist that seems to always light up when I go buy something & to use their biometric scale, and she once gave me a significant unanounced discount without asking, but maybe she is just nice like this to everybody. I was thinking about wearing my expensive perfume next time or something to see if she will comment on it.
I would appreciate any insight you may have on this.
You're in SU right Jesus?
I'd say just follow the process there.
Do everything, 10x more than you initially think, and then re-evaluate months down the road (tweak what doesn't work and/or do more of what works best).
Yes, but I find it too theoretical & sometimes as dense as some university lectures so I stopped reading it... But it's good that you don't follow any particular ideology & are open to multiple perspectives.
