Seoul: 8/10 (and a first analysis of Korean women)
Women: 9/10
- Beauty Rating: 9/10
- Quality of Girls: 9/10
- Ease of Hooking Up: 4/10
- Relationship potential: 7/10 (biggest hurdle: language barriers)
Some more details:
Korean girls take huge care of themselves
Some might even say too much. The makeup industry is huge, with the popular system of "10 steps makeup", made up of several layers of products.
And plastic surgery is also huge.
When it comes to makeup, whiteness seems to be highly prized, so the foundation is often white.
And plastic surgery focuses on eyes, noses, and "thinning of the jaw", as women want to have faces that end up somewhat pointy.
However, Korean women are also very much on the feminine side of the spectrum beyond the makeup and surgery.
Some of the softest hands I've ever held are from Korean women. And it might be something population-wide, as Korean guys also look more on the feminine side, albeit I've never held any Korean guy's hand :)-.
But my favorite part of Korean women when it comes to physical attributes are the lips.
Korean women, on average, have some of the most well-designed lips in the world. And I'm a sucker for beautiful lips.
On the cons sides, assess are more of a hit and miss, with many Korean women often being more on the flatter side.
So if you're an ass guy, this might not be your best place ever :).
Korean women also behave very feminine & demure
This is in part due to the society being still on the conservative side, and Korean men prizing submissiveness and femininity.
I remember at a language exchange outing, asking a local girl on a mixed table if she thought Korean society was sexist. She avoided answering because the topic would cause "conflicts" and she wanted to avoid conflict. That was both an attractive and extremely smart move that many women would do well to copy. I immediately liked her more -and later went on a date with her-.
My experience: terrible online dating, far better in person
When it comes to my dating experience, I do terrible with online dating.
Like the same profile that got a lot of matches in other countries nearby gets close to zero matches here.
This is just another example going to show that sexual market value is highly relative.
Luckily, I do far better in person, which makes me wonder what's the issue with my profile.
Maybe the pictures?
I have heard foreigners in South Korea are considered not higher status as in many other Asian countries, but lower status. I have read online some people saying it's because most foreigners are English teachers, who are labeled as "losers back home" (LBH), emigrating to faraway lands looking for better luck.
BUT: I am neither sure, nor convinced about that theory.
Korean Women Balk When It's Time to Move to The Next Level
I have dated and been sexual with several Korean women, but most of them were abroad.
In the last weeks and from a previous trip I also dated several women and been sexual with a few of them in Korea, but I don't consider myself having well figured out the ins and outs of local dating.
Two things that jump to my attention:
- Cold approach seems to work less well fo actual dates: you might get lots of signs of interest and attraction sometimes, but a date often doesn't follow. Something I had noticed in Japan as well
- Local women seem to balk when it's time to get real
They might give you all the signs they like you, but then either balk at meeting up, or balk when it's time to get to the next level of intimacy.
It might be due to the fact that they are so far into the submissive and feminine end of the spectrum, but as of now, I'm refraining from a more final hypothesis.
Look at these examples:
- One girl put a crying face I was leaving Seoul
- Another one wants to show me how to have fun in Seoul
- One was always fine (to meet) and asked me when we can meet
- And another says we'll "have a good time" (but in a non-better scheduled future, of course)
Now, try to guess how many of those women have I actually met?
An astounding zero.
Just to be sure, there were a few logistics issues in some cases and many women will come out to meet you.
But the percentage of women who balk in spite of showing all the signs they like you, seems to far higher than in most other countries, where women date more assertively.
This was the most extreme example for this trend:
We kept in touch with texts and several calls throughout my 2 weeks of quarantine.
We scheduled to meet on the first weekend I was out.
She disappeared.
Then she apologized for a mysterious issue and said "that next Friday she could probably do it". She didn't. Then she scheduled again and booked her favorite restaurant for us and said she would invite me to make up for her flakiness.
And then balked again.
That was my last text.
At each successive flake, I kept losing interest.
And by that time, I wasn't looking forward to meeting her anymore.
Korean Girls Invest A Lot
On the plus side, Korean women invest a lot in the early stages of romance.
They are not afraid of showing interest, and readily tell you when they are having a good time with you.
Often, they also volunteer to pay their half, promise they will chaperone you around the city, or volunteer to find good places where to eat or drink.
I like that a lot.
And it's a dating strategy I highly recommend women to follow.
The Psycho Girl Experience
In this post, I outlined one of the sometimes unexpected side benefits of frame dominance.
And I ended up meeting the girl for coffee.
With a few words of English in common, I had to do much of the talking.
But sometimes, I just said nothing and smiled at her. Until she cracked first and came up with something. Those micro-moments of dominance can be very important in dating.
And it's one of the reasons why I think that many pick-up articles and books on conversations can lead men along the wrong path: you don't need to talk all the time.
When I invited her over she said it was "dangerous", but that she would trust me.
It was on my first day in the Hongdae district and Google Maps wasn't working. So she actually led the way back home :S.
When I started kissing on her neck she got nervous and started speaking Korean.
She got up, took two pills and wrote on her phone what came out translated as "psychotic".
She's attractive, so of course I want to proceed.
But I'm pondering whether I should proceed or not, if it's morally fair, considering her condition she's just made me aware of.
I think that if she wants to, then there is no harm in doing it. And probably the worst thing I could is to deny her. The question comes down to "should I treat as incapable, or as a normal person?" She seemed fully capable of deciding whether she wanted or not, so the decision was made.
She had told me she studied makeup and modeled on her free time -she had perfect lips, BTW-.
And from what I could see and feel, she had just done a boob job -there were still the cuts visible underneath-. I was glad for she didn't make the typical mistake of making her boobs too big, which is something many women come to regret.
While she's on top she pins my arms down with her feet.
And puts a hand on my throat, squeezing quite hard. My mind races back to the word "psychotic" :). As far as I can remember, it's the first time a woman does it, and I'm not particularly enjoying it.
So I break free of it and later turn the dynamic around.
There would more details to add, but I will end it here.
When I walked her back to the station I kissed her on the forehead and told her to let me know when she'd get back home.
She types something that comes out as "thank you for your concern".
Food: 3/10
I'm not too much into Korean food.
Lots of meat and carbs, few vegetables and almost no salad.
Also the foreign restaurants, unless run by foreigners, are heavily "Korean-modified".
This was the "pink pasta" from an obviously Korean-run Italian restaurant -and a highly rated one-.
There isn't such thing as "pink pasta" in Italy, so I was too curious not to try it.
Let's say that it was edible 🙂
Beauty: 7/10
Seoul streets just look different.
I think it's a mix of peculiar Seoul-Korean things:
- the trash bags that people leave in the street (not in trash bins like most everywhere else)
- electric cables hanging everywhere
- many buildings look dingy run-down, not in a filthy way, but in a beautifully characteristic way
General Quality Of Life: 8/10
Big city life.
There was a good song with that name, once.
You can find everything you like and meet all types of people.
Public transport is good, taxis are cheap, and overall I really like it.
I look forward to spending some more days in Seoul before (hopefully) flying to Europe and spend a few weeks at my good old place.