The Top 7 Books to Become Assertive

best assertiveness books cover

Are you looking for ways to becoming more assertive?

Then this list of the best assertiveness reources can help you.

7. 8 Keys to Eliminating Passive-Aggressiveness

eight keys to eliminating passive aggressivness

Summary | Amazon

Albeit Andrea Brandt focuses only on passive-aggression, this was for me one of the most eye-opening books on the topic.

And it still is.

If you already know you’re passive-aggressive, or if you’re dealing with a passive-aggressive in your life, this is your book.

6. The Power of A Positive No

The power of a positive no

Summary | Amazon

The simple message behind a “positive no” is very simple and at the same time very emotionally intelligent.
The steps are:

  1. Say no
  2. Frame it as you saying “yes” to something else you’re doing
  3. End on a more conciliatory tone

This is basic, yet important emotional and social intelligence wisdom that is missing from many assertiveness books.
Many assertiveness resourcesfocus only on the strength of saying no, rather than on the strategies of saying no and keeping a good relationship.

5. Alpha Assertiveness Guide


Some reviews on some assertiveness books say that most books resemble each other.

I don’t think it’s a matter of resembling each other or not: obviously, the basic theory of assertiveness is pretty much the same.
There is nothing new to invent, and if any author “invented” anything new about the basics, it would mean he’s making things up.

Instead, I think that to learn assertiveness it’s about how good the examples are.
And the mindsets behind the behaviors that the author can help convey.

And “Alpha Assertiveness Guide for Men and Women” has lots of mini-case studies, and I thought they were all good-quality examples to learn from.

4. The Art of Everyday Assertiveness

the art of everyday assertiveness cover

Summary | Amazon

What I enjoyed the most about King’s work are his many techniques of saying “no”.

Some of them were simple yet genius, empowering even the most passive individauls to find a way to utter some of the most difficult words in the English language: “no”.

3. The Assertiveness Guide for Women

The Assertiveness Guide for Women

Summary | Amazon

It’s actually a pity it’s called “for women”, since anyone can learn from this.

Julie de Azevedo Hanks is the only one that connects the dots between attachment styles, individuation, and assertiveness.
Not as deep in terms of examples and case studies, but that wasn’t this book’s aim. And from an academic point of view, this might have been the best book on assertiveness I’ve ever read.

2. The Assertiveness Workbook

the assertiveness workbook

Summary | Amazon

What lands this book to the #2. spot is that it’s an actual work-book.

With exercises, scoring cards, and challenges.
It’s mostly for beginners, but if you want to go from zero to a good level, this book is for you.

1. Power University

power university logo

Summary | Reviews

Why is this first?

Except for the obvious bias, I mean.

Power University is the only resource that deals with the strategic advantages of submissiveness and aggression.

After all, if submissiveness, passive-aggressiveness, and aggression first evolved, it’s probably because there are at least some situations for which they provide some benefits -if not an outright competitive advantage-.

Assertiveness is not always best indeed.
And Power University teaches you how and when other strategies give you a better social ROI.

And the second reason is that to learn assertiveness you need to watch assertiveness.
Besides YouTube, where I haven’t seen much anyway, Power University is the only resource that provides pictures and videos for high-power as well as assertive behavior.
You can watch assertiveness in action, emulate it, and incorporate it into your life.

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