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ALWAYS reject a negative frame about yourself
Hello guys,
I think this topic is very important. Many people talk about frame control. That is to have the dominant frame. It’s all well and good.
However I think the most important skill to develop in priority is:
Frame rejection
When somebody frames you in a negative light:
Step 1: recognize it
Step 2: take a step back
Step 3: use humor to deflect it as a default response
What do you think?
Hello guys,
I think this topic is very important. Many people talk about frame control. That is to have the dominant frame. It’s all well and good.
However I think the most important skill to develop in priority is:
Frame rejection
When somebody frames you in a negative light:
Step 1: recognize it
Step 2: take a step back
Step 3: use humor to deflect it as a default response
What do you think?
Transitioned has reacted to this post.
Got an example to clarify the concept, John?
Especially the "negative frame about yourself" part, I'm not sure I fully get it.
Got an example to clarify the concept, John?
Especially the "negative frame about yourself" part, I'm not sure I fully get it.
Sure! Here it is. Yesterday at the restaurant, my friend:
Him (talking about me): this guy’s a snake.
Me (accepting his frame): but a kind snake!
then I thought about this negative frame about myself and:
Me (rejecting the frame, on a joking tone): “chicken thief” now “snake” that’s not very nice to say this to a friend!! I’ll make sure to remember that! (with a smile)
Sure! Here it is. Yesterday at the restaurant, my friend:
Him (talking about me): this guy’s a snake.
Me (accepting his frame): but a kind snake!
then I thought about this negative frame about myself and:
Me (rejecting the frame, on a joking tone): “chicken thief” now “snake” that’s not very nice to say this to a friend!! I’ll make sure to remember that! (with a smile)
Stef and Transitioned have reacted to this post.
Got it.
Yeah, as a general rule, it's not a good idea to remain within a frame that paints in you (highly) negatively tones.
In the specifics of the example, in a way, good that he said that.
It means he knows he can't control you. In a twisted way, it's a sign of respect.
You: now “snake” that’s not very nice to say to a friend!
I like this option a lot.
I'd leave "I’ll make sure to remember that!" out, as it can come across as vindicative.
Got it.
Yeah, as a general rule, it's not a good idea to remain within a frame that paints in you (highly) negatively tones.
In the specifics of the example, in a way, good that he said that.
It means he knows he can't control you. In a twisted way, it's a sign of respect.
You: now “snake” that’s not very nice to say to a friend!
I like this option a lot.
I'd leave "I’ll make sure to remember that!" out, as it can come across as vindicative.
Matthew Whitewood, John Freeman and 2 other users have reacted to this post.
Matthew WhitewoodJohn FreemanStefTransitioned
Thanks, I removed the vindicative undertones from my interactions. I was not aware of it.
Thanks, I removed the vindicative undertones from my interactions. I was not aware of it.
Matthew Whitewood has reacted to this post.
