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Another email from a manipulative client asking me for free work while parading possible future paid work
Hi Guys,
I received this email from a manipulative client, who I already talked about in my journal as constantly trying to obtain free work from me.
The way she asks for free work is always the same:
- parading the possibility of future paid work
- asking me for simple "information" (ie making it pass for a quick action on my side)
- doing most of the work herself and asking me for my "stamp of approval"
Here is the email I now received:
Her: Good afternoon, Attorney
no news about [future possible paid work], in the mean time I disturb you to have your confirmation on another matter.
I signed a contract (here attached) but I now want to terminate it within the timeframe allowed, that expires in three days from now.
Is it sufficient for me to send them an email?
Thanks a lot
She then immeditely sent me another email where she transcribed the email she wants to send (in essence, she has already written it and is looking for my approval).
What to do
I see five four options:
do it and "approve it"- reply I cannot take on the "case" due to work commitments
- give no reply until after the deadline expires in three days, then send her an email saying "unfortunately I was out of office with no Internet access"
- send her a fee quote and tell her that although the matter seems simple, I need to study it thoroughly (the contract is 20 pages) and talk to her to confirm
- go meta and send her an email where I say I cannot work by just "approving" what she prepares (which I unfortunately did in the past), but if she wants I can study the matter for a fee
Excluding option 1, which I won't go for, I am currently inclined to go for option 2 or 3.
Options 4 and 5 sound too confrontational for me, and also - if it weren't for her manipulative approach - I would do it already for free in any case.
But not under these conditions. Now I'm thinking I don't want to do the work in any case, not even if paid.
Under option 2, I could send her an email where I say:
Good day Ms. X.,
unfortunately due to work committments already taken I cannot take on this matter, nor study it, within the deadline you mentioned.
Kind regards
I think I could send this email tomorrow, so for now I remain out of reach.
Happy to read your thoughts on this.
EDIT: Now, in half an hour, she also sent me a Whatsapp message asking me for a phone call:
Her: Good day, how are you? Can we talk at time X tonight or are you busy?
I see clearly that her "are you busy" is a trap question, meant to make me answer in any case to remove my possible cover of being "out of office".
Unbelievable.
Hello Bel,
I have to say, this person is annoying me as well as I read vicariously :).
Your proposed options all seem solid.
I'd say to go for 3 just because you said that and you know better.
And I'd personally say to propose her the fee since that option is probably better for you.
Thank you so much Lucio!
I guess option 3 is it, then.
Rationale:
- if I answer tomorrow with that email where I write "I cannot take the case due to work commitments", she might play the card of "you only need two minutes to say yes"
- but if I answer in four days that I was out of office, she can't say anything.
However, if I do not answer for three days, I expect her to try to have me called by a common contact (another client) to "blow my cover", so I will have to not respond to him as well.
Also, since she saw the Whatsapp message was "delivered", I might be forced to say I didn't see the message / check the phone.
But these are all small prices to pay for enforcing my boundary.
Well, now that you say it...
... As an external observer I'd actually say to tell her you can do it for a fee :).
But you know better.
Mmmmm. You are right.
It would be the most professional behavior, and also follow the rule of "whenever possible, tell the truth".
I could write something like:
Hello MS. X,
to provide you consultancy on this I need to study the documentation and examine the law.
Given the value of the contract, the fee quote for assistance at the minimum of attorney's fees is 1,000.
If interested let me know and first of all I'll let you have the engagement for signature and the fee quote for payment.
Kind regards
1,000 is really the minimum fee, even if I'll ultimately just say "Ok go ahead"...
Yeah, seems fair.
I may just stress that you're doing it at the minimum possible.
Not because she deserves it, but just because it better bridges iwth the past free work.
So it doesn't seem like a big jump or a big fuck you.
It's also better for you, since you don't frame "past you" as too giving and naive but more smoothly transition to future high-power you.
Something like:
This is really the minimum fee I can to extend to you based on our previous history and that we know each other.
Something like that, you know better how to make it sound professional and with your tone.
Thank you Lucio,
I see it simply is the most awesome and professional way to respond.
I'm also thinking I could lower the fees a bit, for me and not for her - to just self-signal I'm not scalping on this even though I could.
Repackaging everything into an email to be sent tomorrow:
Hello MS. X,
to provide consultancy on this to you I need to study in detail the documentation and examine the law, in addition to speaking with you.
Given the value of the contract of 15,000, the fee quote for assistance at the minimum of attorney's fees would be 1,000; however I can apply a fee of 400 for the matter.
This is really the minimum fee I can to extend to you based on our previous history and that we know each other.
If interested, let me know and I'll first let you have the fee quote for payment.
Kind regards
Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on July 24, 2023, 6:31 pmI may just stress that you're doing it at the minimum possible.
Not because she deserves it, but just because it better bridges iwth the past free work.
So it doesn't seem like a big jump or a big fuck you.
It's also better for you, since you don't frame "past you" as too giving and naive but more smoothly transition to future high-power you.
It awesomely solves the issue I had of transitioning from naivety to high-power, as concerns setting fees.
It frames past behavior as a "get to know you" favor, and me as "still kind" even though I'm ultimately raising (or better: starting to apply, with this person) fees.
And the whole answer also subcommunicates "I can handle this", and thus high-power.
Quote from Bel on July 24, 2023, 6:41 pmEDIT: This is really the next level, top-power advice about transitioning from no fees or low fees to normal fees:Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on July 24, 2023, 6:31 pmI may just stress that you're doing it at the minimum possible.
Not because she deserves it, but just because it better bridges iwth the past free work.
So it doesn't seem like a big jump or a big fuck you.
It's also better for you, since you don't frame "past you" as too giving and naive but more smoothly transition to future high-power you.
It awesomely solves the issue I had of transitioning from naivety to high-power, as concerns setting fees.
It frames past behavior as a "get to know you" favor, and me as "still kind" even though I'm ultimately raising (or better: starting to apply, with this person) fees.
And the whole answer also subcommunicates "I can handle this", and thus high-power.
Yep, I knew that you'd correctly spot what was the "advanced move" in there :).
That was the one indeed.
And when you recognize advanced game, it's the sign you're becoming an advanced practitioner.
Thank you, Lucio for your kind words.
She actually answered with an email:
Good day Attorney,
thank you for your answer, but I already sent the email to terminate the contract, so we'll see what happens.
Of course I'll be glad to accept your kind proposal, for which I thank you again, if any problems should arise, but the business representative tells me there won't be any.
I wish you a good day.
Kind regards
To borrow a term from Ali's recent thread, I see lots of fake gratitude here... :).
My instinct would tell me to answer with something like "don't thank me, and glad you were able to solve it so easily yourself".
But, considering she took the time to answer and this shows she may want to keep me as lawyer for serious future issues, maybe best to not answer. I already made my point with my initial email (ie checked the move).
I wouldn't reply.
Not even necessarily as a power move or only for strategic reasons, but because the general rule is:
You only reply when a reply is necessary.
Or, more generally, you only do something when doing is important.
Otherwise, focus on what's most effective (or what gives you the most pleasure/returns, which is also a subset of being more effective anyway).
