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Another guy framing you and a girl you met as a couple

#1 · November 15, 2021, 12:09 pm

This is a tactic I have seen many guys use where the guy 1 approaches an interaction between another guy 2 and a girl and starts framing them as a couple.

Now since the girl only met the other guy recently, the girl will be very opposed to the couple framing and will actively try to break away from the other guy 2. While at the same time guy 1 positions himself as less attracted to the girl than guy 2 which puts him at a better spot.

Examples -

Guy 1 says this to girl and guy 2 who are talking with each other.
Guy 1 - You guys look so cute together.
Guy 1 - You guys look like a perfect couple.
Guy 1 - He is being so romantic to you.

How would you handle this situation, especially when it's a girl you just met?

#2 · November 15, 2021, 5:04 pm

Would you mind Googling "thepowermoves.com cockblock"? There are 2 solid articles on this.

The gist from the article is to answer something non-commital and then try to isolate the invader.

Typing from the phone.

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#3 · November 16, 2021, 7:39 am

Quote from Matthew Whitewood on November 15, 2021, 5:04 pm
Would you mind Googling "thepowermoves.com cockblock"? There are 2 solid articles on this.
The gist from the article is to answer something non-commital and then try to isolate the invader.
Typing from the phone.

Well when the invader was completely in our space as this was the beginning of the interaction I can't completely ignore him and also there is a high chance if he ignores me I lose power.

So I tried responding with these. (None of them worked)

Me : everything alright with you man?
Me : you are a sweet guy.

Now I can't say Thanks because that will give the impression I already see the girl and me as a couple and the girl will think I have already made up my mind with her and am needy.

I also can't move elsewhere with the girl because we only met now.

#4 · November 16, 2021, 10:34 am

This situation is always challenging and there's often no magic bullet. Sounds like you played very well.

The main thing is not sit there like a lump or get aggressive. And as with all things in dating treat it as a game for your amusement.

The girl knows this guy is being a dick. Over to her to some extent to not reward bad behaviour.

And remember you just met this girl - she's not your girlfriend - you don't even know if you like her yet. Nothing invested. So as long as you've stood up for yourself, indirectly challenged his dick behaviour your job is done.

I'd start with 'that's weird'...anyway..(and what I wanted to talk about). If his behaviour is off the wall fine to judge it.

Where I went with "...anyway..." would depend on the situation.

If I'd been vibing well with the chick and felt confident I might say ... excuse us we were just going to talk to our friends...point a random bunch of people and lead her away.

If he was quite overtly challenging I might say "... anyway.. move in closer to the girl and half turn my back on him (never fully in case he is a psycho) and just continue to talk to her ignoring him.

Another option: "We were just having a bit of a personal conversation - we'll catch up with you later"

My usual disclaimer - I'm years out of the game. Be interested to see what the guys say.

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#5 · November 16, 2021, 12:44 pm

Another option: "We were just having a bit of a personal conversation - we'll catch up with you later"

This sounds golden in my opinion

entertains the question
builds upon the personal conversation with the girl
excludes him from the interaction

Brainstorming here:

Guy 1
You guys look so cute together.
You guys look like a perfect couple.
He is being so romantic to you.
You: (nods at the man coldly)
(turns to the girl; exaggerated humour tone) Mr Cupid comes to save the day

Meta frame with humour.

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#6 · November 16, 2021, 1:48 pm

Hey Growfast,

I'd wonder how often that happens as you've asked about similar situations already.

These should be rare events.
And they should have little to no bearings on your bottom line.

The second thing I'd wonder: is the girl receiving your approach well?
If so, you have the upper hand.
If not, it might have not gone anywhere anyway.

In terms of actual answer, you got solid answers already.
And the articles are great, too.

Some more off the top of my mind:

You: (to her) do you know this guy?
Her: no
You: (to him) hey man, nothing personal, but do you mind? We were having a conversation

Another option is to go meta and say something like:

Hey, man, I know what you're doing you know.
You're butting in trying to make other people look and to try look cool. Unluckily, the only one who looks bad is you.
And as a tip, if you want to talk to someone, it would be far better for you to wait others have finished their conversation. Now would you mind...

Notice you say "make other people look bad", you want to avoid evening mentioning the possibility of "making me look bad".

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#7 · November 16, 2021, 2:50 pm

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on November 16, 2021, 1:48 pm
Hey Growfast,
I'd wonder how often that happens as you've asked about similar situations already.
These should be rare events.
And they should have little to no bearings on your bottom line.
The second thing I'd wonder: is the girl receiving your approach well?
If so, you have the upper hand.
If not, it might have not gone anywhere anyway.
In terms of actual answer, you got solid answers already.
And the articles are great, too.
Some more off the top of my mind:
You: (to her) do you know this guy?
Her: no
You: (to him) hey man, nothing personal, but do you mind? We were having a conversation
Another option is to go meta and say something like:
Hey, man, I know what you're doing you know.
You're butting in trying to make other people look and to try look cool. Unluckily, the only one who looks bad is you.
And as a tip, if you want to talk to someone, it would be far better for you to wait others have finished their conversation. Now would you mind...
Notice you say "make other people look bad", you want to avoid evening mentioning the possibility of "making me look bad".

That's what surprises me too. As to these rare events happening to me a tad more then my other American friends.

I have mostly seen this happen with me and other Asian friends where it's mostly a white guy trying to shoot his shot.

Thanks for all your inputs on the topic.

#8 · November 17, 2021, 1:49 am

Quote from Growfast on November 16, 2021, 2:50 pm
As to these rare events happening to me a tad more then my other American friends.
I have mostly seen this happen with me and other Asian friends where it's mostly a white guy trying to shoot his shot.

Got it, yeah, there might be some of that at play.

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#9 · November 17, 2021, 4:01 am

I am taking another guess here.

Maybe you could try playing around with distance and positioning when talking:

Distance - stand closer to the woman
Positioning - stand directly face-to-face (you & woman's shoulders' parallel) during initial interactions
Be warmer to the woman to avoid confrontational vibes

I think Lucio's video example was a good example (not in terms of handling the cockblock but how he stands relative to the woman):

The voice seems really good here too: slow and resonant.

It's much harder for someone to come in when both of you are talking like this:

If someone does come in, the invader is already at a disadvantage because

the girl is not facing him
he looks like he's outside the interaction

If the invader gets aggressive, you can take the chance to move her away.