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Rapper Guy Shows Aggressiveness At My Attempts To Ask A Girl On a Date

This rapper was selling music cd's outside of Starbucks. A girl came by and bought one of his music cd's. The girl was passing by me and I told her she is pretty and had a short conversation. Which was more nothing more than polite conversation between the both of us. I suggested  her and I should hangout sometime when the rapper butted in and said "Eww no!!. There was only polite conversation between me and the girl  but this guy was actively trying to ruin the interaction between me and the girl. as well as make me look bad. And I did not know how to deal with this guy without making myself look even worse. I often find it difficult to defend myself because  reacting seem to get the opposite response from people and I lose social value instead. However ignoring tends to make me look passive and weak.

Background: I talk to girls all the time and often get dates this way. Rapper guy was out of line.

What I did (My proposed solution): I decided not to verbally engage the man since in the past this has not worked with rude people. I decided to show that I was unfazed by the mans words by displaying very confident body language. Hands behind the head leaning back in my chair enjoying the sun.

Hey Jack,

Interesting scenario, and they're never easy.

Similar stuff happened many times to me.

As per forum guidelines:

  • Descriptive titles: what would have worked here is "meddling guy ruins my conversation with a girl"
  • Propose your own solutions: this is crucial, see the guidelines for why it's important (link in my signature)
Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?
Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on May 9, 2021, 9:56 pm

Hey Jack,

Interesting scenario, and they're never easy.

Similar stuff happened many times to me.

As per forum guidelines:

  • Descriptive titles: what would have worked here is "meddling guy ruins my conversation with a girl"
  • Propose your own solutions: this is crucial, see the guidelines for why it's important (link in my signature)

 

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on May 9, 2021, 9:56 pm

Hey Jack,

Interesting scenario, and they're never easy.

Similar stuff happened many times to me.

As per forum guidelines:

  • Descriptive titles: what would have worked here is "meddling guy ruins my conversation with a girl"
  • Propose your own solutions: this is crucial, see the guidelines for why it's important (link in my signature)

Ok I edited it. Hopefully it is better. Thanks.

Lucio Buffalmano and Matthew Whitewood have reacted to this post.
Lucio BuffalmanoMatthew Whitewood
Quote from JackGD on May 9, 2021, 9:45 pm

What I did (My proposed solution): I decided not to verbally engage the man since in the past this has not worked with rude people. I decided to show that I was unfazed by the mans words by displaying very confident body language. Hands behind the head leaning back in my chair enjoying the sun.

Yeah, when the interaction is fresh, and your case it was super fresh, engaging the asshole easily result in the relationship you care about to break unless you do it very smoothly and end it very quickly.

Moving the girl is always a good idea, ignoring the guy whenever possible is also a good idea IF the interaction wasn't already heavily affected.

Another option is to carry a business card.
Often the girl will leave out of social pressure, but you might be able to say "just drop me a line later". Then she can contact you in private, without having to lose face publicly. It won't always work, of course, but if she left while still liking you and if she's strong enough to initiate conversation, it can.

In this case, you could have said "(laughing) I hope that guy has better taste in his music", just to show you're heavily affected and you're not letting random people derail you.
The bad thing about it is that you're complimenting yourself, which is not the smoothest. But it's not too bad either. Then ask about the music she just bought to change conversation quickly, then either move her, or propose a date for later on a high.

Alternatively, corrugate your eyebrows, as if to say "what the fuck was that doing, he's so weird".

Also, check out the cockblocking power dynamics articles on the website, this is typical cockblocking.

Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?
Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on May 9, 2021, 11:06 pm
Quote from JackGD on May 9, 2021, 9:45 pm

What I did (My proposed solution): I decided not to verbally engage the man since in the past this has not worked with rude people. I decided to show that I was unfazed by the mans words by displaying very confident body language. Hands behind the head leaning back in my chair enjoying the sun.

Yeah, when the interaction is fresh, and your case it was super fresh, engaging the asshole easily result in the relationship you care about to break unless you do it very smoothly and end it very quickly.

Moving the girl is always a good idea, ignoring the guy whenever possible is also a good idea IF the interaction wasn't already heavily affected.

Another option is to carry a business card.
Often the girl will leave out of social pressure, but you might be able to say "just drop me a line later". Then she can contact you in private, without having to lose face publicly. It won't always work, of course, but if she left while still liking you and if she's strong enough to initiate conversation, it can.

In this case, you could have said "(laughing) I hope that guy has better taste in his music", just to show you're heavily affected and you're not letting random people derail you.
The bad thing about it is that you're complimenting yourself, which is not the smoothest. But it's not too bad either. Then ask about the music she just bought to change conversation quickly, then either move her, or propose a date for later on a high.

Alternatively, corrugate your eyebrows, as if to say "what the fuck was that doing, he's so weird".

Also, check out the cockblocking power dynamics articles on the website, this is typical cockblocking.

Thank you! Very helpful!

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