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Avoid toxic environments... Until you're ready to handle them
An interseting video by Alex Hormozi.
He broaches again the topic of his semi-toxic family and the "friends he's left behind".
And a funny power move:
Him: if somebody said "come over here" to me today, I'd say "don't talk to me that way"
LOL, great direct answer to a dominant power move.
The whole video though basically say:
Don't go back to the family and friends you left behind because they drag you down / mentally dismempower you / pull social power moves on youÂ
I don't fully agree with that.
To me that's more like a phase one must go through, rather than the ultimate solution.
The ultimate solution is to be able to see the friends/family you've left behind, handle the negativity, and still take the positivity out of it.
Of course, the caveat is that there should be at least some positives.
But then again, few families and social circles are exclusively negative/toxic.
This is advanced stuff I think. Yeah definitely about phases. I thought you were going to talk about work but it still applies.
Personally, I still would avoid toxic environments at work since we spend a lot of time there. Therefore the amount of mental and emotional energy we put in our work is already significant. So the added toxicity yes can help us to learn how to defend against manipulation and stuff. Yes, these environments can carry high prestige and skills. To me it still is a balance between peace of mind vs going out of our comfort zone. Also the self-development mainstream says: "the quality of our life depends of the quality of our relationships". It depends on where we are on the Maslow pyramid, but still I think it depends largely on that and it depends on the character of the individual as well.
So I think it's important to integrate what you said and still make an informed decision eg. "is it worth it?".
So definitely an important message to me. For family and friends 100%. At work, I think the balance goes rather towards avoiding still. Of course if we have a specific career goals, then the balance is shifted towards going there.
So if you feel like commenting more about work, I'm curious to know what you think about.
The whole post pre-supposes of course that one is ready to handle these environment. To be clear, the question to me is "how worth is going to a toxic environment for a power-aware, socially skilled (enough), aspiring eagle to go?". I understand the answer is "it depends". But still, I think it's worth exploring the idea in work environments.
OFF-TOPIC
Couldn't help but notice the amount of times he used that word "frame" in the video, maybe he'd get a lot of value out of the frame control book :)
OFF-TOPIC
Thank you for sharing Lucio.
Really enjoyed Alex's video and your analysis.
And superb way of checking a dominant power move indeed!
The bottom line for me really is empowering oneself to make decisions that are right for oneself for where one wants to go.
So as much as being developed far enough to be able to deal with the not so great environment is an awesome skill to have...
Being able to willingly choose an alternative way of spending the holidays, despite whatever social pressure there might be, is a much healthier and higher power choice - which could well be the "outside the comfort zone" choice for some. (including, up until this year, myself).
Whether its the ultimate choice to never part take and "unsubscribe" or not - heavily depends on the specifics. But certainly a worthwhile consideration for those stuck and/or being pushed/pressured by family and friends to part take in something that may not be a net positive for the individual.
