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Bad dating game example: Fight for power, get a lose-lose brawl

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Could work, yeah.

The "let's enjoy some good mocha" might sound like you're trying to tempt and lure the date with the pleasure of the consumption. Given her first snub, it might be too much on the nice side as well for someone who was probably playing a game.
In a situation like this one, I'd keep more neutral and "cold".

Save up the kindness for those who show the same.

Innon83 has reacted to this post.
Innon83
Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?

Thanks for the breakdown.

I tend to reframe conversations sometimes too nicely even when the other party is trying to take advantage of the situation.

I will keep this in mind to not show kindness in cold situations.

She: I go meet you as a friend, ok?

Me: What relationship were you thinking about? I thought we are always friends.

 

She: I go meet you as a friend, ok?

Me: TV says dog is my friend.

 

 

How about these?

 

 

TBH I don't see this as much of an issue.  It's just the chick setting up so she can friendzone you if you don't make her tingle.

It's like when they day I ll meet you but we won't have sex.  You just agree.  Anything to get them on the date.  Then see if there s a connection and escalate.  Personally I escalate physically as I believe the girl knows within the first 5 minutes if she ll sleep with you. A lot of guys like to play it cool and evaluate the girl.  That can work and is lower risk.  Which is important in the #metoo era.

That s where my current thinking is.  Very open to new ideas.  Maybe I ve been handling this poorly for years!

Social_Strategist#1 and selffriend have reacted to this post.
Social_Strategist#1selffriend

Definitely agree!

From a woman's POV, when comparing the following two scenarios:

  1. We are meeting as friends, but he kisses me
  2. I knew that he is into a romantic date, and he kisses me

The first one is way way more exciting.

Some dating coaches advise that "faking" a beta-provider-friendly nice guy, lowering her expectation, and then suddenly demonstrate your alpha traits will create strong chemistry.

Social_Strategist#1 has reacted to this post.
Social_Strategist#1

Agree.  Not sure about the whole beta thing though.  I think the alpha meme is over hyped.  Alphas are meant to be the apex - there can't be so many.  I promoted the goal of being an accomplished man - what we'd term here a 'high quality man'.  If you look at women meeting each other for the first time they spend a lot of effort building rapport.   Encourage the other to talk, find things in common, praise every opinion or experience the other offers up, etc.   The first stage to go through is comfort.  Then after 10/15 minutes of that to avoid the dreaded LJBF, I used to start teasing, leading the conversation, etc.  This is just empirical - what I learnt through trial and error.  We probably need Lucio's input on what the science says.

Lucio Buffalmano, Social_Strategist#1 and selffriend have reacted to this post.
Lucio BuffalmanoSocial_Strategist#1selffriend

Sorry to double reply.  There was one earlier point I wanted to mention.  That second line:

She: I go meet you as a friend, ok?

Me: TV says dog is my friend.

That is very funny.  To me it's guy funny.  Women often don't get subtle humour especially over text.  I think you'll trigger a negative response - this guys is comparing me to a dog.  By all means try it but if my instincts are correct, I'd suggest with a random online app lady not the girl of your dreams.

Lucio Buffalmano, Social_Strategist#1 and selffriend have reacted to this post.
Lucio BuffalmanoSocial_Strategist#1selffriend

Sorry for the late reply. I just saw this post while I was searching for "how to maintain a win-win atmosphere while disagreeing with someone else".

 

The title of this post is "bad dating example". However, to me the screenshot is not bad at all.  The green texter decisively rejects the white texter's frame, yet in a very comfortable way that the overall chat is still warm and friendly.

 

Did I miss something here?

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