Can you tell your partner to read my messages?
Hi Guys,
My landlord sent some text messages to my partner Bella about a job opportunity.
My partner responded by thanking her and saying she would consider it.
Then my landlord, today, sent some more messages to my partner Bella about this employer "needing to receive her resume" "today".
My partner sent the resume (for herself), but didn't (yet) respond to the landlord's latest texts.
Now, two hours later, my landlord sends me this Whatsapp:
Homeowner: Good day dear, all ok? Can you tell your partner to read my whatsapp messages? Thanks a lot [kiss emoji]
I'm thinking of waiting till this evening or tomorrow and then answering with something like:
Me: Hi X, all ok. I hope you're also ok. Bella is very busy at this moment, and I myself am busy with work. But I'm sure she'll get back to you on her own when she can. Talk soon!
Happy to read your take on this.
Hello Bel,
Yes it's not very respectful.
Homeowner: Good day dear, all ok? Can you tell your partner to read my whatsapp messages? Thanks a lot [kiss emoji]
I personnally hate the kiss emoji when tasking someone. It's quite condescending: it falls in the babying categories. Her move is also disempowering as she thanks you before you could answer yes or no.
So from a strategic POV first it seems to me she wants to look good towards this employer. There is some triangulation as well.
Personnally, I would have sent something very similar to your message. Small changes I would do:
I would remove the "and I myself am busy with work" and remove "on her own".
Me: Hi X, all ok. I hope you're also ok. Bella is very busy at this moment but I'm sure she'll get back to you when she can. Talk soon!
Yeah, that's a very offputting attitude.
Reminds a lot of my neighbor that served for several examples and mini-case studies in PU (and also on this forum a bit).
The first message Bella replied with felt a bit dismissive to me, and albeit that's always your prerogative to reply like that, you generally want to keep it warmer with a landlord.
As for your answer, you don't need to answer for Bella.
Why would you get involved, waste your time, and open the doors for a triangulation?
Bella is a smart and empowered woman and she can decide for herself when / how / if to reply (and you're not her secretary anyway 🙂 ).
Either tell her that, and that's none of your business, or reply in 3 days after Bella replied and say you were busy but "you think it's all good now".
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Lucio’s proposition is better I think (waiting after Bella’s answer).
Thank you so much, John and Lucio.
I agree with you on all counts.
Before reading your posts, I was also somewhat leaning into not answering the landlord at all on my side.
But now I will follow your suggestion (to answer in some days, maybe tomorrow or the day after, with "I've been busy with work but think it's all good now").
After sleeping on this, I find the solution I’m settling into is not to answer at all on my side.
I feel her message was just too nasty.
I'm having doubts and considering sending something like this:
Me: Hi X, I don't know what you're referring to and I don't deal with her communications, I'm sure when she'll be able to she'll look after it directly. Talk soon 🙂
Since I'm continuing to have doubts on this, I believe I will postpone my decision about an answer for some more time/days.
Updating this:
Bella answered the homeowner yesterday, and I ultimately answered her "request to tell my partner to read her messages" today, with this:
Me: Hi X, all good, hope you are as well. Talk soon 🙂
I chose to ignore her request but answer the rest.
She answered as follows, and I "thumbed it up".
Her: Yes yes, thank you, all good. [kiss emoji]
Me: [thumb up]