Quote from Matthew Whitewood on December 20, 2021, 8:36 am

Thanks for another case study!

I would go for

• Showing commitment to the boss
• Highlight constraints
• Ask questions about priorities from the client's perspective
  (shifts into working on the problem together for the client)

Sandra (Big Boss): “Look, I really pushed for you to be the one to lead this project. Do you know what I said about you? I said you were a team player. Was I mistaken?,”

Me: Thanks for the opportunity.
I am fully commited to delivering this project in line with your expectations and the clients' expectations.
I have a few constraints: timeline, budget, manpower, equipment, etc.
I understand that we have these requirements to meet.
Which requirements would you say are top priority for the client?

In short, I would frame the situation as

I am seeking advice from you (the boss) about how we can tackle this situation for the client in the best way.

I did encounter bosses who were unreasonable before.
They basically wanted everything.
Then, some "negotiation" would have to be done.

What do you think?
I will definitely check out the latest edition of crucial conversations.
It does seem to assume a radical candour environment which a lot of corporates do not have.

Quote from Transitioned on December 20, 2021, 10:38 am

Yes I know I am spamming the forum a bit.  It's amazing how many of these misunderstandings and showdowns happen every day in project land.

I think it is wonderful practice.  None of these scenarios are hypothetical I've seen them all play out in real life

 

Thanks, Your version is better already.  The problem with too direct is it doesn't leave you a fall-back position if they react badly.

I was trying to be concise and lost too much context so here s the full dialogue.

Sandrine: I’m excited to have you and your team dig in on this project. Let’s talk timelines.

Wendy: It’ll take us just over six months.

Sandrine: Oh . . . Well . . . when I looked at it, it seemed like you should be able to finish the whole thing by the end of this quarter.

Wendy: Well it’s a good thing we’re talking about it now before we’ve made any commitments, because there’s no way to finish it by then. I mean, that’s half the usual time for a project like this.

Sandrine: That’s why I put you in this role in the first place. You are able to do the impossible. Let me give you the full context of just how important this is. I need you to figure out how to get this done by the end of the quarter. Other project launches are at stake. The accelerated schedules are already in the master plan. Our senior team is counting on us. Or, more specifically, on you.

Wendy: Wait a minute . . . you’ve already made a commitment? You agreed to a deadline before we even talked about whether it was doable?

Sandrine: Hey, Wendy, you know we need a big win this year. Look, I really pushed for you to be the one to lead this project. Do you know what I said about you? I said you were a team player. Was I mistaken?

____________________________________________________________________

it's getting a bit late here today.  I will work the problem in the morning.  I'm pretty sure we will be able to apply some of the tips from the Boss Relationship section of PU.

Quote from Matthew Whitewood on December 20, 2021, 12:04 pm

Thanks a lot for all these case studies. You are spamming dollar notes. I am the greedy one taking some of them.

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on December 20, 2021, 4:13 pm

I haven't (yet) read all the messages, but I agree with Transitioned that the original push back was "too much".

Some authors might proposer more dominant and direct styles as they're "flashier", but not necessarily more effective

Sandra (Big Boss): “Look, I really pushed for you to be the one to lead this project. Do you know what I said about you? I said you were a team player. Was I mistaken?,”

That's quite manipulative, and the issues with "team player" is that:

1. It's a big and dangerous frame that you're not a team player
2. It can mean anything -and can be used to manipulate you for anything-:

• Stay longer -we need team players-
• Call your team member while at his wedding -we need team players-
• Aren't you answering emails on weekends? -we need team players-
• You want a payrise? -but you need to be more of a "team player"-

So first thing, I'd want to address that bad frame, and then surface the practical and immediate issue.
You want to refuse the higher, general, and harmful frame, and discuss the immediate issues at hand.

So something like:

Sandra (Big Boss): “Look, I really pushed for you to be the one to lead this project. Do you know what I said about you? I said you were a team player. Was I mistaken?"
You: Thank you so much for vouching for me Sandra, that's really much appreciated and I am very grateful (= if you're kind to me, I appreciate and give back). And I also think you were right (=I AM a team player, don't play that game). Is there anything that's worrying you about the project? Let me know and we can talk about it (= bring up the real issue)

Then once you've established that premise, it's all downhill to frame control.

If she keeps insisting on the "team player", repeat that you love this business and team and you're fully committed, and ask again about the immediate issues.

Quote from B on December 20, 2021, 6:30 pm

From the whole dialogue, it seems to me the boss is simply setting up the employee to fail. While I understand not wanting to be too direct, I don't think a boss like that is amenable to changing tack without strong push-back.

Sure, if you push back, you may be left without a job. But if you don't, you may also be left without a job after having destroyed your health by working for three months for a boss who is simply setting you up to fail. Or, worse, you may be left without your health after working for ten years for a manipulative boss.

In these situations, what I usually answered so far is:

"Ok, if this is really important, this time let's go with what you propose, but next time please ask me before committing".

Of course, as you can imagine, big win for the manipulative boss. And no change whatsoever after that episode. And much stress for me. And resentment from the boss for telling him what to do next time.

So now I would not even focus on power-protecting a person like this. She is, after all, threatening ("was I mistaken on you?"), and that is a big red flag that screams "change job (or client) immediately!" Also, committing before asking you is a big manipulation against you, even worse than the threat. And the icing on the cake is "You are able to do the impossible". Totally insulting, and also proves the boss knows she is setting up to fail.

I would rather combine Matthew and Lucio's approaches, with a more factual tone, but put it in the negative:

"As much as I'm a team player, this project cannot be executed in less than six months, because [...]. Unless, of course, we can change some other specifics for the project. For example, if I can have a wider team, I may be able to shorten the time-frame: not to three months, but maybe to five. Or we may reduce the scope of the project, and reserve more time for a second part".

Keeping the answer factual instead of emotional could depotentiate the manipulation. And then you maybe get some concession on the team and agree on 4.5 months.

Irrespectively of what you get, I would also start looking for another job (or for another client) immediately.

Another option: if you are confident you can find another job in less than the time-frame the big boss wants, you could in theory just say "Of course! Will do!" and then just leave the hot potato to her when you change jobs. She, of course, would have done the same to you viceversa.

Or, if you are an external consultant, you have yet another option: do it in the shorter time-frame, but increase the fees.

But I don't like the answer in the book:

I get we’re in a tough spot here. I don’t want to disappoint our leadership any more than you do. And I want you to know that I’m committed to getting stuff done. At the same time, I want us to set realistic goals; otherwise, we’re setting ourselves up to fail. And maybe even more important, I want us to work together in a way where we’re up front with each other about our needs and concerns.”

It places blame on you when you did nothing wrong ("I don't want to disappoint..."), it expresses commitment that should be presupposed, it requests clarity to a person who is obviously committed to muddling the waters and blaming you covertly. Total loss of power. These people only understand actions and consequences.

Quote from Transitioned on December 20, 2021, 8:47 pm

Thanks all, everyone brought up great points. I think I will end up with 2 versions of the script.  One for pushing back on this head kicker boss.  Another with a bit more power protecting for the more reasonable boss.  The more typical boss would not go with the team player power move and would try and flatter you into the trap.

Either way the intent is pretty nasty.  Especially if as usual the PM is a contractor with no rights.   They re setting up the PM to fail, get fired and serve as their excuse to reset the project with more resourcing.  I remember a debacle called the member registry project.  I was the 4th pm on that one so the board must have been asleep at the wheel.

Quote from Transitioned on December 20, 2021, 10:40 pm

One of the techniques I see people use all the time with higher-ups is questions instead of statements.

And these tips from PU might apply:

3. Flatter the boss the right way
7. Match His Emotional Distance
5. Prioritize your boss, take quick action for him
9. Align to his communication style

I ll have a go at scripting the politer boss scenario.  It will be too wordy to start with.  We can slim it down once we ve identified the key points.  The key assumption I ll make is boss has promised the crazy delivery date to the board.  As this just about is always true anytime they re pushing a fixed date.

I LL also make Wendy a bit more savvy.  A seasoned PM would feel things out more not immediately jump in boots n all.

 

 

Quote from Transitioned on December 21, 2021, 7:10 am

Politer Boss Scenario

Another PU boss relationship principle:  13. read between the lines

 

Sandrine: I’m excited to have you and your team dig in on this project. Let’s talk timelines.

Wendy:    Thank you for giving me the opportunity to be on the team.        Everyone says its an amazing can do culture here (3. Flatter and 9. Align)

Of course I've got an initial view from the team but I'd really like to hear more about your expectations?

Analysis: view from team = I've done my homework.  'your expectations' - Wendy is gathering info, not backing herself into a corner where she has to defend.

Sandrine: Well . . . when I looked at it, it seemed like you should be able to finish the whole thing by the end of this quarter.

Wendy:    Sounds good.  It would be fantastic if we could pull that off.  We'd need everything to bounce our way.  The team has come back with an initial estimate of 6 months.  I'll get them working on how we could pull that back right away (5. Take quick action for her)

Analysis:  First - agree.  Then flag constraints but quickly move on to positive action for the boss.  Wendy has also said the estimate came from the team, creating a bit of distance between her and the six months estimate which may not fly.

Sandrine: That’s why I put you in this role in the first place. You are able to do the impossible. Let me give you the full context of just how important this is. I need you to figure out how to get this done by the end of the quarter. Other project launches are at stake. The accelerated schedules are already in the master plan. Our senior team is counting on us. Or, more specifically, on you.

Wendy:   Its wonderful that the SMT is placing their confidence in us.   Is there a specific stakeholder audience for this work?

(13. reading between)

Analysis:  Wendy is bring it back to we/us language, pointing out that we might all go down together.  The question is giving Sandrine an opportunity to say who she's promised it to.

Sandrine:   Marketing have some key campaigns off the back of this and the boards taking an interest.  Hey, Wendy, you know we need a big win this year. Look, I really pushed for you to be the one to lead this project.  I know the timelines tight but I have every confidence in you.

Wendy: It would be great to have an early win at the start of this project to give the board a level of comfort - It would help with resourcing and funding down the track.

Analysis: Wendy's just learnt who 2 important stakeholder groups are.    She's onboard with the boss plan but using language that subtly suggests it could go longer.   She and Sandrine know that the board will want to see activity and validate the spend.  It's easier to extend a project that's already delivering.

Sandrine: Well the focus for the board is the store launches for the China Entry Project.  You should talk to Marketing about doing something there.

Analysis:  the language is still directive.  Sandrine's going to be a tough boss but there has been no confrontation,  and the conversation is moving onto priorities and how to do the work.

Quote from Transitioned on December 21, 2021, 7:19 am

OK guys I tried to channel everyone and use some PU content.  To me this rings true with conversations I've had and heard with Exec.

If you can help me out with some tough love that would be great  :-)