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Case study: Value of Submissiveness in Work
In my job that I work for quite a time now my friend started working a month ago too.
He was not the quickest to get things but he still was good, had motivation to work overtime and because he is of younger generation he quickly showed he can use work station far better than his seniors.
And his biggest asset, he is natural at power dynamics, he is very confident, tall and muscular, nobody dared to confront him back in highschool and even though he had a habit of being a value taker, he still was my friend as he could hold a deeper conversation while also I learned a lot from his behaviour and his tips.
When I started doing "The Power Moves" and said to him what I learned, most of his comments were "well, that's obvious" or "yeah, those are basics".
So when he got the job, one may only guess he will do wonders and climb quickly, I thought that there's a good chance I will be overtaken, even though I'm more skilled and I will have to do my best to stay on top.
And then he lost the job.
How? Coworkers didn't like him. He was still novice and when they teached him and told him he did wrong, he always tried to show that his way of doing things is also good, that he knows what he is doing. People that had years of experience weren't having it.
They warned him "that's not how it works in this company" and I even talked to him privately that he needs to lie low while he is a beginner, he will show what he is worth when he has some value to company. Yet he didn't listen.
This tactic of his worked wonders when he was the popular kid, he didn't move an inch when others tried to show him he is wrong, but here, in the new environment, you need to have skills, and when you don't have them, you need to accept the superiority of seniors and learn from them, at least appear to do it. What he lacked was neither aggressiveness nor assertiveness, he lacked submissiveness, to submit when he was wrong, to show respect to those higher than him.
He was hired at the same time with a girl. She was doing worse than him albeit still well. She didn't argue, she listened, she did her job as they told her, and she still is here. They told him straight "We prefer her more than you". I can't predict what she will do in future but if they both still worked and she stayed as she is right now, she would still keep the job but he would quickly outshine her and get a better position, he didn't get a chance though, he lost the opportunity.
He got fired by his own ego. I'm assuming he's quite young. Even if he's not, he will hopefully learn from this and do better next time.
He did 2 serious mistakes: work is a social activity and skills is what make people do the work properly. So he could have been a know-it-all if he was good or like his co-worker be a beginner but be humble. He was neither of them so that's how the story unfolded.
Yes, in my experience you have to be submissive to people above you until you don't have to anymore. So patience, perseverance and learner's attitude will get you there. Until then one is better off watching and learning. And being friendly off course.
To submit is about recognizing that someone is your superior. In this case: skills, knowledge and experience. It's not shameful. It's even tactically appropriate in many situations (police stops you, etc.). It's not like they insulted his mother.
Thanks for sharing DGX37!
Awesome case study, DGX37!
Funny thing is that this guy may fail or fail to advance fast often.
He may then do his entrepreneurial thing and succeed. And he'll become even more conceited.
So with that attitude, whatever he does, no matter how much he succeeds, he'll always fall short of his potential.
P.S.:
Should send him this link now with the comment "it was obvious, wasn't it?" :)
