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Charisma and power moves for someone with a slow reaction time

#1 · September 7, 2023, 4:06 pm

Greetings,

I was wondering if there are some great strategies for charisma / power moves for people that have slow reaction time.

More often than not I can come up with decent replies, but only after a conversation has moved on to a different topic or has ended.
Some other times I just can't find the right one and default to staying silent

At the moment I'm focusing on the following:

Trying to spend more time in social situations and really paying attention to what is going around
Training to improve my reaction time, verbal fluency and attention as much as I can
Training my conversational skills online, where giving an instant reply is not important
Coming up with pre-set answers or lines that work on many situations
When all else fails, defaulting to a serious demeanor / expression regardless of the situation I am in (even if I risk coming off as unfriendly)

But I think this is suboptimal, so that's why I'm asking for advice

Thanks a lot everyone, I wish you a great day

Lucio Buffalmano, Jack and 2 other users have reacted to this post.

#2 · September 7, 2023, 4:46 pm

Cheers Illystorm.

Personally I've found that not knowing what to say is usually due to either not fully understanding the dynamics at play or facing a power move one is not accustomed to.

Sometimes one is caught of guard and doesn't know how to react. Fortunately one can even up the scores as the conv progresses, regarding not knowing what to say I approach this both by improving my power awareness and (the same as you) by thinking about responses in advance to certain power moves too. (The silver bullet technique is really useful when you want to surface a power move but can't come up with a good response)

When all else fails, defaulting to a serious demeanor / expression regardless of the situation I am in (even if I risk coming off as unfriendly)

About this I would say that it depends on the power move. In fact certain facial expressions can be used to check power moves without the need to say anything. Knowing how to react usually comes in hand with power and social awareness. As always context matters, particular examples are better in these cases.

That's how I usually approach the situations you point out.

Jack, Illystorm and Roberto have reacted to this post.

#3 · September 11, 2023, 7:16 pm

Quote from Illystorm on September 11, 2023, 7:16 pm
Thanks for your reply Power Duck, I found it really useful.

Quote from Power Duck on September 7, 2023, 4:46 pm
Cheers Illystorm.
Personally I've found that not knowing what to say is usually due to either not fully understanding the dynamics at play or facing a power move one is not accustomed to.
The facing a power move one is not accustomed to is a good point, I definitely need way more work (both theoretical and practical) to improve.
I also think it can still be linked to slow processing speed to an extent (especially because, in my mind, it's not just about addressing the power move but also about having to think of the consequences... so addressing it differently depending on who has used it and the potential usefulness / value this person could provide me in the future)
Quote from Power Duck on September 7, 2023, 4:46 pm
Sometimes one is caught of guard and doesn't know how to react. Fortunately one can even up the scores as the conv progresses, regarding not knowing what to say I approach this both by improving my power awareness and (the same as you) by thinking about responses in advance to certain power moves too. (The silver bullet technique is really useful when you want to surface a power move but can't come up with a good response)
Exactly said, I believe my issue with speed of processing is when I wish I had the right snap-reply on the spot... but it's also true that I could go to that person later and having a conversation one-on-one about it, with the amazing silver-bullet technique. (even though it's still less effective if I receive a power move when a group of people is witnessing -> this is where the thing bothers me the most).
Quote from Power Duck on September 7, 2023, 4:46 pm
When all else fails, defaulting to a serious demeanor / expression regardless of the situation I am in (even if I risk coming off as unfriendly)
About this I would say that it depends on the power move. In fact certain facial expressions can be used to check power moves without the need to say anything. Knowing how to react usually comes in hand with power and social awareness. As always context matters, particular examples are better in these cases.
That's how I usually approach the situations you point out.
Yeah, body language is certainly quicker to use, and being a more serious person overall could be useful at least for me, since I tend to fall on the high-warmth / low-power camp.
Then it's also true that the power move used from the other is too overt and excessive, it's just impossible to miss and things can't but get heated
Again thanks a lot for your reply mate

Thanks for your reply Power Duck, I found it really useful.

Quote from Power Duck on September 7, 2023, 4:46 pm
Cheers Illystorm.
Personally I've found that not knowing what to say is usually due to either not fully understanding the dynamics at play or facing a power move one is not accustomed to.

The facing a power move one is not accustomed to is a good point, I definitely need way more work (both theoretical and practical) to improve.

I also think it can still be linked to slow processing speed to an extent (especially because, in my mind, it's not just about addressing the power move but also about having to think of the consequences... so addressing it differently depending on who has used it and the potential usefulness / value this person could provide me in the future)

Quote from Power Duck on September 7, 2023, 4:46 pm
Sometimes one is caught of guard and doesn't know how to react. Fortunately one can even up the scores as the conv progresses, regarding not knowing what to say I approach this both by improving my power awareness and (the same as you) by thinking about responses in advance to certain power moves too. (The silver bullet technique is really useful when you want to surface a power move but can't come up with a good response)

Exactly said, I believe my issue with speed of processing is when I wish I had the right snap-reply on the spot... but it's also true that I could go to that person later and having a conversation one-on-one about it, with the amazing silver-bullet technique. (even though it's still less effective if I receive a power move when a group of people is witnessing -> this is where the thing bothers me the most).

Quote from Power Duck on September 7, 2023, 4:46 pm
When all else fails, defaulting to a serious demeanor / expression regardless of the situation I am in (even if I risk coming off as unfriendly)
About this I would say that it depends on the power move. In fact certain facial expressions can be used to check power moves without the need to say anything. Knowing how to react usually comes in hand with power and social awareness. As always context matters, particular examples are better in these cases.
That's how I usually approach the situations you point out.

Yeah, body language is certainly quicker to use, and being a more serious person overall could be useful at least for me, since I tend to fall on the high-warmth / low-power camp.

Then it's also true that the power move used from the other is too overt and excessive, it's just impossible to miss and things can't but get heated

Again thanks a lot for your reply mate

Power Duck has reacted to this post.