Former Community – We Moved
🆕 Coached community here, for posts & feedback public community here.
Condescending laugh after one upping
Quote from
Growfast on July 19, 2022, 3:15 pm
This is something I have seen with a lot of narcissistic Social climbers (have a lot of experience with my parents are were in this category) and overtly domineering people.
They basically make a one upping comment which isn't even very subtle and then proceed to snicker, laugh and roll their eyes whenever you try to respond to their one up.
It's frustrating and makes one think whether they are getting away despite their one upping comments and them laughing makes the victim seem reactive.
What are your thoughts on how to handle this situation?
This is something I have seen with a lot of narcissistic Social climbers (have a lot of experience with my parents are were in this category) and overtly domineering people.
They basically make a one upping comment which isn't even very subtle and then proceed to snicker, laugh and roll their eyes whenever you try to respond to their one up.
It's frustrating and makes one think whether they are getting away despite their one upping comments and them laughing makes the victim seem reactive.
What are your thoughts on how to handle this situation?
John Freeman has reacted to this post.
Can you give the example of a dialog?
Can you give the example of a dialog?
Quote from
Growfast on July 19, 2022, 6:37 pm
It's more of a technique rather than a particular instance.
Basically imagine any situation where someone one upped you by being passive-aggressive or being rude and then when you tried calling them out/tried to surface their nastiness, They resort to snickering or condescending laugh or even saying things like
"You seem triggered",
"Relax man"
"Why is he acting so weird?" (Turning to others)
It's more of a technique rather than a particular instance.
Basically imagine any situation where someone one upped you by being passive-aggressive or being rude and then when you tried calling them out/tried to surface their nastiness, They resort to snickering or condescending laugh or even saying things like
"You seem triggered",
"Relax man"
"Why is he acting so weird?" (Turning to others)
Quote from
B on July 20, 2022, 2:09 pm
My take:
- if they limit themselves to snickering, laughing or rolling their eyes, do not respond verbally (because doing so would entail more emotional investment) and instead one-up them back non-verbally (ie loudly exhale, shake your head, make a face of disgust and contempt subcommunicating “men that is sooo nasty”); if they then respond, blatantly ignore for all to see;
- if they say “You seem triggered", “Relax man", "Why is he acting so weird?", either one up back (look at another and say “Why do we still invite this person?”, or look at the speaker and say “how kind of you to worry about me”) or consider going meta.
My take:
- if they limit themselves to snickering, laughing or rolling their eyes, do not respond verbally (because doing so would entail more emotional investment) and instead one-up them back non-verbally (ie loudly exhale, shake your head, make a face of disgust and contempt subcommunicating “men that is sooo nasty”); if they then respond, blatantly ignore for all to see;
- if they say “You seem triggered", “Relax man", "Why is he acting so weird?", either one up back (look at another and say “Why do we still invite this person?”, or look at the speaker and say “how kind of you to worry about me”) or consider going meta.
Lucio Buffalmano and Growfast have reacted to this post.
I agree with Bel, I would use facial expressions like shaking your head with a condescending face and move on: "Anyway, I was saying..."
However, I think what happens is that he provokes you into anger which prevents you from making rational choices. And then you fall into his trap by over-reacting and he just has to reap what he sew. So I would also consider what made you angry and become non-reactive towards that. From there you can have more effective choices.
So first, I would not react. How do you surface the nastiness? It also matters here.
I agree with Bel, I would use facial expressions like shaking your head with a condescending face and move on: "Anyway, I was saying..."
However, I think what happens is that he provokes you into anger which prevents you from making rational choices. And then you fall into his trap by over-reacting and he just has to reap what he sew. So I would also consider what made you angry and become non-reactive towards that. From there you can have more effective choices.
So first, I would not react. How do you surface the nastiness? It also matters here.
Lucio Buffalmano has reacted to this post.
