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Controlling/Harassing/Nitpicking supervisor
Quote from John Freeman on December 24, 2020, 5:14 pmHello guys,
Context: in my profession, we need to write discharge letters when a patient leaves the hospital. These are technical documents which require quite a lot of effort and time to produce. Bascially, we (residents) write this document and send it to our supervisor (attending) for correction.
Situation: I sent a few letters to my supervisor. Of course there were mistakes that she had to correct. She used the same manipulative technique as other females colleagues did in the past: she made it look as these mistakes are serious mistakes (shaming attack). I made the mistake to tell her about my previous education before medicine. That was a mistake as it fueled more covert aggression from her.
How do I defend?
- I don't submit: That means I don't say as I used to say: "I won't make this mistake again".
- I acknowledge the mistake
- I thank her for the feed-back
- I refuse to let her make me feel bad (shame): as I said in a previous thread, I choose not to give her the power to affect my mood, self-esteem or self-confidence. Now I met enough people like her to recognize the pattern and reject it.
So basically, she kind of harasses me through email with undertone of threats: "Time is passing by. You made these mistakes...." She implies that I'm not improving fast enough. But now I know these people, so I'm not impressed and not affected.
I'm sharing this with you, maybe it's helpful for somebody else.
Cheers!
Hello guys,
Context: in my profession, we need to write discharge letters when a patient leaves the hospital. These are technical documents which require quite a lot of effort and time to produce. Bascially, we (residents) write this document and send it to our supervisor (attending) for correction.
Situation: I sent a few letters to my supervisor. Of course there were mistakes that she had to correct. She used the same manipulative technique as other females colleagues did in the past: she made it look as these mistakes are serious mistakes (shaming attack). I made the mistake to tell her about my previous education before medicine. That was a mistake as it fueled more covert aggression from her.
How do I defend?
- I don't submit: That means I don't say as I used to say: "I won't make this mistake again".
- I acknowledge the mistake
- I thank her for the feed-back
- I refuse to let her make me feel bad (shame): as I said in a previous thread, I choose not to give her the power to affect my mood, self-esteem or self-confidence. Now I met enough people like her to recognize the pattern and reject it.
So basically, she kind of harasses me through email with undertone of threats: "Time is passing by. You made these mistakes...." She implies that I'm not improving fast enough. But now I know these people, so I'm not impressed and not affected.
I'm sharing this with you, maybe it's helpful for somebody else.
Cheers!
