Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on December 31, 2019, 8:11 am

Hi,

I see a lot of self-inflicted pressure and urgency in your message, but your situation is not "bad" in any way.
And, depending on how you look at it and what you're looking for, it can actually be an advantage.

What's "Normal"? It Depends on The Environment

Often, women who feel the way you do changed their environment.

They started making some more libertine friends, went to college, or started reading about sex.
Suddenly, they see a lot of sex in the environment around them and they start thinking "oh-oh, am I normal for not doing the same these other people are doing"?

But, within certain limits of course, there is no set in stone "normal", there is just what's common within certain environments.
And people who don't fit in those environments, feel bad about it.

It happens also at the opposite end of the spectrum. Such as, with libertine women who feel bad because they are in a conservative environment.

I have been with a few women from conservative places who never date men from their countries.
Why not?
Often, it's because they are libertine women, and they know the local men have expectations of sexual conservativeness, and that makes them feel like sluts.

What Do Guys Like?

To answer your question quickly and somewhat simplistically, on average:

• Guys looking for short-term sex tend to seek women who look "easy", libertine, highly sexed, or "exploitable" (in research literature: "unrestricted women")

As someone said "men want a woman with a past because they think the past will occur again in the present" (ie.: they feel they got higher chances of quick sex).

• Guys looking for long term and "wife material" prefer less experienced, introverted women (in reseach literature: "restricted" women)

Past sexual experience and extraversion are linked to promiscuity, and for long-term partners, men don't want high promiscuity.
Promiscuity substantially increases the risks of cheating, and research shows that faithfulness is the #1. trait men seek in a long-term mate.

This means that your situation makes you a perfect "long-term partner", potentially for a high-quality man who's looking for long-term relationships.

Some men for looking for short-term are also turned on by inexperience.
However I always felt those guys were not the cream of the crop. Seeking very inexperienced can be similar to seeking very submissive women: it makes the man feel more powerful and in control

Some men even lust after virgins, but that's either a sort of kink or a potential warning of a potentially abusive man (he wants to be the first as a way of "branding her").

But to keep it simple, let's remain at the general level: for short term men chase women who look promiscuous, and for long term men prefer inexperienced women.
If you want to know more, also check:

• Madonna-whore dichotomy

Educated and Experienced Men

This holds true for educated and experienced men as well.

Yes, they are more open-minded, they "understand" a woman's past a bit more, they are less likely to be jealous and less likely to entertain in repressive "mate guarding" technique (ie.: forcing a woman to stay home, not letting her work, checking up on her, etc.).

But when it comes to preferences for short and long term mating, the substance is the same.

Many self-appointed "open-minded" men and virtue-signalers might say they don't care about a woman's past.
But, deep down, they almost all do.

The only exception I see is for high-sexed men, or men who put sex first and foremost, even in long-term relationships.
These guys, they might prefer a woman with experience because they associate experience with "skills" and, most of all, "enjoyment of sex".
They're a minority, though.

And for great sexual chemistry, the enjoyment of sex is far more important than the number of past lovers.

In Sum

I don't see any reason for panic.

Depending on how you look at it and what you are most interested in, dating as an inexperienced woman might even be an advantage.

And if you just got an itch for sexual experiences, you can always get it, even as an introvert.

P.S.:
Sure one would be curious to know what "almost virgin" means :)

Quote from Guest on January 1, 2020, 5:31 pm

Guy here, and +1 what Lucio said, if you skip riding the cock carousel you will definitely make for a higher quality partner

Quote from Guest on January 11, 2020, 6:09 am

Hi Lucio

thank you for answering me! By almost a virgine i mean i had sex only once haha! I just thought guys would find that strange that i never had a serious relationship by that age and it would make me seem desperate or something!
anyways thanks a lot for your answer it reassured me a bit!

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on January 18, 2020, 3:44 pm

And one more thing:

If you are experiencing peer pressure, there might an element of manipulation there.

It's not uncommon for women to bully, ostracize, or isolate other women who are:

1. Too promiscuous and "easy"
2. Too caste and pious

In both cases it's because of intrasexual competition, albeit the reasons are very different.

Promiscuous women are dangerous mate-poachers

Women who are too promiscuous are a threat for two reasons: they are potential mate poachers, and they make it harder for women to extract resources from men.
Since men are unwilling to invest when there are a lot of women who give sex easily, then easy women "ruin' female long-term mating strategy of making a man provide and commit.

In a way, female promiscuity has an element of "tragedy of commons". If all women were pious, then all men should have to commit and stick to their wives.
But if a few women start putting out early, then that puts pressure on all other women to start doing the same (and that's why I always tell on this website that waiting too long in a competitive market is a highly risky strategy).

Pious women make other women look slutty (and poor long-term prospects)

Women who are too pious instead are a threat because they can make normal women look slutty by comparison.

And that makes it harder for them to find a man who will be willing to commit and provide, since men will prefer the pious ones for long term relationships.

Women who ostracize other pious women, or try to cajole them to sleep around, are trying to get rid of a dangerous competitor.

Plus, of course, inexperienced women make other women feel sluttier.
And instead of dealing with one's own feelings and insecurities, it's always easier to attack and blame others.