Former Community – We Moved
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Dealing with somebody not acknowledging your leadership role
Had a new manager who was over me in the hierarchy (the product owner for our product/team) but to the side come on board. First day she came over to my team and went straight to a team member who is a spy in the camp. I didn't handle it well - basically ignored it (trying to be non-reactive) but then went down a rabbit hole of analysing it in my head. Self-sabotaging. She would definitely have known I was the team lead so immediate power play and her next move was to try and take over a key meeting I chair.
I'm wondering about how I could handle this power-play without looking too controlling and moving to a collaborative frame. How about this?
Gone straight over - said hi I'm transitioned. I'm the lead for this team. Good to meet you, let's have a chat about how we're setup and your expectations. And then you can meet the individual team members.
Hey T., I like your proposed solution.
Proactive, assertive, welcoming, and high-power.
I also like that you said "your expectations", so it doesn't feel like you're imposing on her, something that would be particularly risky at work, with a boss.
Maybe rephrase the "and then you can meet the individual team members", which feels like you giving permission and/or blocking the way, into "and, if you want, I'm happy to introduce you to... ".
It sends the same message, but it avoids taking power away from your boss, which is often a political mistake that makes your boss dislike you / see you as an enemy.
"and, if you want, I'm happy to introduce you to... ".
I like this one, very royal like.
and your expectations
I think it works where you live. Where I live it would be considered passive-agressive.
As always thanks Lucio for your wisdom. At least now I m at the conscious incompetence stage. Now to build the reflexes - more coming in my journal thread.
Interesting. John how would you play it?
My two markets for work are Aus and NZ. NZ is much more European /less American in culture.
I would just remove it.
hi I'm transitioned. I'm the lead for this team. Good to meet you, let's have a chat about how we're setup.
If I would tweak it to my communication style, it would look like this:
hi I'm transitioned. I'm responsible for ____ (whatever the name of department/group you're responsible of). Good to meet you. Would you have some time now or later to discuss about how we're setup.
It could look like this:
hi I'm transitioned. I'm responsible for the electric engineering development group. Good to meet you. (warm smile) Would you have some time now or later to discuss about how we're setup?
I would go more formal, less dominant and friendlier. That's my communication style.
Basically, warmer.
