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Defend your boundaries, mafia style (with collaborative frames)

We've already seen Chazz Palminteri as an example of collaborative frames.

Funny enough, we now see the same guy, telling a real-life story:

Chazz: Oh come on, what the fuck do you know
Wiseguy: Can I talk to you for a second? (takes him with the "elbow walk")
Wiseguy: You know what happened?
Chazz: Yeah, yeah, congratulations
Wiseguy: Do me a favor (avoids imposing, very power protecting), you can't talk to me like that anymore
Chazz: You're absolutely right, I apologize
Wiseguy: Oh come on stop (hugs / kisses)

It's the "smile and a gun" approach, or the "mixing power with warmth" we talk about here.

The power/warmth approach is in good part how the mafia managed to be kind of well-liked by a big chunk of neighborhood folks (exceptions apply and of course mafia can turn very nasty, no rose-tinted glasses here, but it's undeniable how effective it was/is in embedding itself in the social fabric).

As a note, this shows how some (a few!) movies are great examples of real-life dynamics.
Some of these actors were playing roles of people they knew in real life.

Valentin, Stef and have reacted to this post.
Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?

I saw the title of the video.
They are talking about Machiavellianism and power!

It looks like a very good framework:

  • Assert your boundary strongly while "power protecting"
  • If they respect your boundary, treat them with extra warmth

I never thought about using "do me favour" to soften the assertion of a boundary.

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