Former Community – We Moved
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Defend your boundaries, mafia style (with collaborative frames)
We've already seen Chazz Palminteri as an example of collaborative frames.
Funny enough, we now see the same guy, telling a real-life story:
Chazz: Oh come on, what the fuck do you know
Wiseguy: Can I talk to you for a second? (takes him with the "elbow walk")
Wiseguy: You know what happened?
Chazz: Yeah, yeah, congratulations
Wiseguy: Do me a favor (avoids imposing, very power protecting), you can't talk to me like that anymore
Chazz: You're absolutely right, I apologize
Wiseguy: Oh come on stop (hugs / kisses)
It's the "smile and a gun" approach, or the "mixing power with warmth" we talk about here.
The power/warmth approach is in good part how the mafia managed to be kind of well-liked by a big chunk of neighborhood folks (exceptions apply and of course mafia can turn very nasty, no rose-tinted glasses here, but it's undeniable how effective it was/is in embedding itself in the social fabric).
As a note, this shows how some (a few!) movies are great examples of real-life dynamics.
Some of these actors were playing roles of people they knew in real life.
I saw the title of the video.
They are talking about Machiavellianism and power!
It looks like a very good framework:
- Assert your boundary strongly while "power protecting"
- If they respect your boundary, treat them with extra warmth
I never thought about using "do me favour" to soften the assertion of a boundary.
