Quote from John Freeman on January 7, 2021, 12:32 am

Hello guys,

A male nurse, the one I'm often talking about A. (yes another A.) uses a lot the term: "Doctor" but on a tone that half-implies he's mocking it, half-implies he's respectful. For instance, when I make a mistake, he will say: "Doctor, you should not do ...." He uses on a tone that you would use to call the first name of someone you feel like you're superior to.

First, I'm not a doctor, I hold no "doctorate", I'm a physician. He knows this. At least in my country that's how it works. Patients call you doctor, but it's more of a habit. We don't all have a doctorate, which is an academic title. So, "doctor" is more a shortcut for "physician" as we receive letters with Dr. on it but I don't hold the academic title. People who have a doctorate worked on a thesis for a couple of years. It's a title for a researcher, not a clinician.

So either, I defend and I say: "I'm a physician not a doctor" and he got what he wanted: I'm self-devaluating. If I say: "please call me John, I don't like when you call me doctor", we end up in the same situation I ended up many times before. He can make it look as when I'm upholding my boundaries, I'm being thin-skinned. If I say: "Why are you calling me doctor?" He will say it's to joke, to be friendly or because I'm a doctor.

So he uses "Doctor" as a flattery, but it's more a way to devaluate us. When you're using the official title of somebody to ask them something or show them they're wrong, it implies that: 1. you're their subordinate 2. you're not that smart.

Basically, it's a covert attack on your authority given by your title.

I'm sure it happened to you in your respective professions.

How to defend against this one?

Thanks!