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Definitive dictionary of power

Quote from John Freeman on February 14, 2021, 11:40 pm

I really like these concepts. To me as a learner, an example for each concept helps me to understand it clearly.

That makes a lot of sense.

At the same time, I don't want to overload the dictionary, so I'm waiting for some good examples from the forum to link out.

Matthew Whitewood has reacted to this post.
Matthew Whitewood
Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?

Alright, gotcha. Higher quality from real life examples.

Added:

  • Covert questions: covert questions are techniques and ways to gather information and input from others, without directly asking a question.
    Techniques of "covert questioning" include hiding a question behind a statement, an objection, an analysis, a complaint, a list of things we've done but didn't work, an or attack against someone or a third party.

And then there is a lengthier explanation in the dictionary.

Thank you @aliscarlett for bringing this again to the community's attention, it definitely had to have its spot in the dictionary.

Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?

Guys, I need your help.

Surfacing, or Uncovering?

You know the technique "surfacing".

It consists of drawing out a covert aggressor and take his nastiness in plain sight.

However, I've been thinking about the name.

Because of the name "covert-aggression", "uncovering" might be a more intuitive name for this technique when dealing with all types of covert aggression.

Surfacing/uncovering can be used in different situations, not just with covert aggression.
For example, if a partner is pouting and you want to get to the bottom of the issue, you are going to ask questions to "surface" the issue.
But the name "uncovering" would apply (almost) equally well on all those other situations.

So I'm thinking that "uncovering" might be a more intuitive name for everyone who's learning power dynamics, and that might help cut down people's learning process.

What do you guys think?

Ali Scarlett and Matthew Whitewood have reacted to this post.
Ali ScarlettMatthew Whitewood
Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?

The problem is that I am more used to the word "surfacing".
So I find it more intuitive now.
And I'm a bit biased towards "surfacing".

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on March 3, 2021, 4:48 pm

Because of the name "covert-aggression", "uncovering" might be a more intuitive name for this technique when dealing with all types of covert aggression.

So I'm thinking that "uncovering" might be a more intuitive name for everyone who's learning power dynamics, and that might help cut down people's learning process.

What do you guys think?

Now that you logically explain it.
It makes logical sense that uncovering gives a more straightforward connotation for people who start out.
You can see how uncovering applies to aggression that hides behind a facade.
You uncover this facade and bring aggression to light.

Why I Prefer Surfacing Over Uncovering?

This is the logical reason that I prefer surfacing.
Submission-aggression is on a scale.

Uncovering gives a binary feeling to me.
Black & white.
In the open and not in the open.

Surfacing seems to fit better with the scale.
You bring an act of micro-aggression from minor to full-blown.
Or you bring an act of covert aggression from hidden to out on the surface.

Summary

Surfacing fits better with the submission-aggression scale to me than uncovering.

Lucio Buffalmano and Ali Scarlett have reacted to this post.
Lucio BuffalmanoAli Scarlett

I like surfacing better because it flows when one puts the word "frame" in front to highlight it as a frame control technique:

"Frame surfacing"

VS

"Frame uncovering"

The latter has more syllables and is, therefore, more of a mouthful in my opinion. And, while it's a minor detail, the increased processing fluency that comes from "frame surfacing" helps with my comprehension in analyses and case studies.

My question is, can we not have both?

For example, when we use the term "mirror":

  • Chris Voss mirror (repeating the last one to three words of another person's sentence)
  • Frame mirror (copy them or accuse them of your flaws)

I think we could update the dictionary with a note that says, "Also commonly referred to as frame uncovering." That way, people know they're synonyms and still get the benefits of the word's intuitivity since it's still listed.

Lucio Buffalmano has reacted to this post.
Lucio Buffalmano

Thanks guys, much appreciated!

I like the idea of adding an "AKA uncovering" beside surfacing, so when explaining it I might mention the technique next to covert aggression as a technique to uncover the aggression.

If anyone has anything to add, I'm all ears :).


As a note:

  • Chris Voss mirror (repeating the last one to three words of another person's sentence)

That's just wrong from Voss in my opinion, that technique had already been described long time before -seen it at least from Leil's earlier books-, and it was called "parroting", which is also a better description, and more intuitive.

Ali Scarlett has reacted to this post.
Ali Scarlett
Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?

Ah, now I see why you've been using that word often on the Voss threads :).

"Parroting" does sound a lot more intuitive. Far easier to understand the process of how the technique is used in terms of visualization as well.

Quote from Ali Scarlett on March 3, 2021, 6:25 pm

Ah, now I see why you've been using that word often on the Voss threads :).

"Parroting" does sound a lot more intuitive. Far easier to understand the process of how the technique is used in terms of visualization as well.

OFF TOPIC

Yeah, and truth to be told, it's either he didn't know, or he was being less than forthcoming, putting a label on a concept and idea that wasn't his in order to avoid giving credit, and inflating his authority (not a huge fan of the guy, I see a high proportion of marketing to quality and quantity of content).

OFF TOPIC

Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?

Dropping a note here to gather feedback on the term: "frame isolating".

Based on this thread: "It's Just You" Technique to Disagree or Distance from Someone's Opinion.

Thank you again, Matthew, for starting that thread!