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Does seeing other peoples' actions as power moves make them more powerful?
Hey so I'm going through the course, and I notice that just about everything can be construed as a power move. Joking, putting your hand on the other person's shoulder, etc. This is all somewhat true to a certain extent. But if you see everything the other person does as a power move, wouldn't you be amplifying his or her actions to be more powerful than if you hadn't interpreted them as power moves?
For example, I actually used to be one of those guys who would feel really comfortable with people right away and had no problems cracking jokes at others expense or putting my hand on their shoulder, I was actually pretty comfortable with roasting my boss on occasion (just not in front of others). Some people didn't mind it, and some people did. However, even though what I was doing can be interpreted as "Dominating," that was never my intention. I thought if I just assumed people were my friends, they would be. With the people that didn't mind the way I was acting, they actually liked it and we would quickly and easily become friends. The people that didn't take it too well, we obviously didn't become friends. The thing I noticed was that the people that thought I was being a dick, were usually part of the group that was kind of seen as "uncool".
As time went on though, I met more and more of the people who didn't take my behavior too well because I moved to a different area, so I toned myself down. Lately in the last few years though, I've met people that would pull power moves (usually just roasting) on me but I wouldn't retaliate because I toned myself down, but sometimes they get upset that I wouldn't roast them back. I've noticed this with people in higher positions (careerwise, celebrity, etc.). They WANT you to pull power moves on them.
So in a way, by being secure in yourself and laughing it off when people pull the occasional power move on you, isn't that a power move in itself? There are even TV programs that openly invite celebrities to get roasted on a live broadcast. I remember a big celebrity (forget who it was) mentioned that getting a weird Al parody of his song was better than getting a grammy.
You can still laugh it off when you see a power move.
Seeing it for what it is doesn't mean you're on a warpath with anyone.
Indeed my most common reaction to power moves is not to antagonize, but to offer a slight smile and think within myself "LOL, how low / what a POS / me and this gal aren't going to date or get along", depending on the "severity" of their action.
So, no I don't think that being well equipped to see power dynamics empowers anyone else more than it empowers you.
It seems that in your message you are referring to a specific type of power dynamics.
Roasting, teasing, busting your friends, balls... Those are a specific subset of power moves, and more typically male. Specifically, young men in informal environments. So they can come across a bit juvenile, depending on the situation.
Guys among guys, especially when younger, tend to be over the top.
You don't wanna be like that in more adult and mixed groups.. On average.
But if you're in a more fun environment and people roast you for a laughs sake, by all means do the same back and have a good time.
