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Examples of high-quality men

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Hello guys,

quoting @lucio:

It hinders your development as an assertive, honest-talking straight shooter.¨

So here are 2 examples of high-value men, who embody this mentality:

Justin Gaethje (look at how he values and respect his opponent, while acknowledging his limits, growth mindset at its best):

Another example below, also notice him talking about Khabib being "in a bad spot" then realises this could be an excuse for his loss, he changes right away. Extreme Ownership. Never make any excuses.

Khabib Nurmagomedov, look at how he's spoken about by his boss (at 2:10), notice at 2:59 how good actually means "pro-social" (evolutionary psychology) and that he's described a value-giver in all aspects of his life (family, friend, work). That's the kind of guy we want to become, honest, assertive, kind, straight-shooters and value-givers. I added kindness: it's an important trait to me.

Here Khabib talks as you can see a bit of his mindset:

And how he handles victory at the end of his career:

Feel free to comment! 🙂

Lucio Buffalmano has reacted to this post.
Lucio Buffalmano

John,

Crazy coincidence you post this now, just today I randomly stumbled upon that Khabib's farewell.

I have huge respect for that guy.
In my opinion, he changed the sport for the better.

He had a moment when he attacked McGregor's team.
Khabib kept it cool when it mattered most: in the ring, to deliver a resounding beating.
It was a mistake to attack physically when he had no real reason to do so. But, in a way, it was understandable: McGregor was being a real POS and had done all he could to get under his skin.

Sometimes later McGregor went full-on idiot and punched an older man in a bar (he had believed his own hype of invincibility and the world crumbled on him).
Khabib's reaction made me think "man, this guy is a high-quality man".

John Freeman, DM and Stef have reacted to this post.
John FreemanDMStef
Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?

I'm glad we agree: great role model.

Love this thread, I think it has HUGE potential.

Here is one strange/unexpected example of high-value man:

Donald Trump (or past DT)

A quick reminder I differentiate between high value and high quality (note below).

But Trump is definitely high value.

I think Trump was even higher value in the past than he is now.

Now he has become so lost in his own (dark) narcissism, grandiosity, and need for praise and admiration that he might have even lost touch with reality.
And his usual mindset of dividing the world into "my allies or my enemies" has gone so extreme that almost anyone is a potential enemy.
When you are locked into combat mode 90% of your life, than your value potential has shrunk since too many people will never be the recipient of your value.

But take a look at him in the past, and his attitude and frame control:

Look at the video from 0:40.
His frame control is incredible, ranging from frame domination, to blowing off covert-power moves (P.S.: can you spot what was the covert power move from the journalist?).
Unluckily, all those skills are put in the service of constantly battling others, which prevent him from being high-quality.

High-Value VS High Quality

Definition of high-value means:

High value means having at least the potential of delivering value to others.

To think if someone is high-value, just imagine that person is in a big room full of people.
Would at least someone seek to talk to them?
If that's the case, even if he is a SOB to 90% of the people in that room, chances are that he is high value. If there are some people who seek them out and want to talk / engage with them, it usually means that they have at least the potential of giving value.

Being a billionaire almost by definition makes you high-value, since money is one of the easiest, most widely accepted, most liquid forms of delivering many different kinds of values / support.

While a definition of high quality:

High quality means being a largely net-value giver to the world and the people around, including the mindsets and drive to be a net-value giver to the world, and to generally pull people up

High quality means to largely be a force for good, including:

  • Being largely net value giving to the world/people around
  • Wanting to be a value-giver (as opposed to wanting to take value or, at the extreme, being a "proud value-taker")
  • Approaching the world with the mentality that win-win is possible and preferable
  • Approaching people with the idea of "leaving them better"
  • Seeking to pull people up, rather than down

The distinction between value/quality can be subjective and there are grey area, but it's one of those cases where subjectivity is not infinitely elastic.

Matthew Whitewood, John Freeman and 2 other users have reacted to this post.
Matthew WhitewoodJohn FreemanDMStef
Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?

The Covert Power Move is think "Loaded Question" to neutralise Trump's frame that questions are inaccurate.

I like Trump's Smile @ 1:00 .

Matthew Whitewood has reacted to this post.
Matthew Whitewood
Quote from DM on October 28, 2020, 5:26 am

The Covert Power Move is think "Loaded Question" to neutralise Trump's frame that questions are inaccurate.

Loaded questions are definitely power moves.

In this case, the covert power from the journalist was to say:

Jounalist: Those in the financial community have told me that. And this is them who have said it, and not me (= I'm just relaying info, don't take it against me)

That's his cover.
If Trump accepted that, now the journalist could say anything he wants, without any personal accountability.
If Trump got angry, he could run back under cover with something like:

Yeah, yeah, good point, but that's what they said, and they also said this other thing that makes you look really bad...

Textbook frame control against the "messenger power move" here by Trump: them who?
Then attack the authority of those "them", so that it dismantles the journalist's attack.

Matthew Whitewood and Stef have reacted to this post.
Matthew WhitewoodStef
Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?

Hello Lucio,

thanks for the clarification. Therefore, could you please rename the thread in "... high-quality men"? I can't do it myself. I think it would be more accurate.

Thank you very much and for the Trump example. The journalist did a big mistake by trying to trap him from the get-go. He was going after a master. He should have known better.

Matthew Whitewood has reacted to this post.
Matthew Whitewood

Sure, we can do that, John.

As far as I'm concerned we can also leave "high-value", so we can also use examples like Trump, as there is also to learn from these other types of guys.
But it's your thread, so if you prefer "high-quality", just let me know.

P.S.: I thought this idea was good I opened a thread for high-value women as well.

Stef has reacted to this post.
Stef
Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?

"subjectivity and relativity exist, yet in most cases they are not infinitely elastic"

love that way of puting it by Lucio!

My point is that since the two are not the same the people I used in this example are high-quality people. I think it would be worth it to have another thread for high-value people as these are 2 different concepts. Thanks! 🙂

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