Former Community – We Moved

🆕 Coached community here, for posts & feedback public community here.

ForumPublic Forum: Social LifeFalling Star Getting Back Up

Please or Register to create posts and topics.

Falling Star Getting Back Up

#1 · January 22, 2022, 12:13 pm

Are there any books, articles, and or experiences being or observing a "falling star" recuperate and manage?

Recently I had some massive blunders and frankly am alienated and pretty cold to my current environment. People are being mostly graceful to my face, but still damage has been done.

I have no plans of leaving until my term is over and there is still a great many wonderful things I can still do, but I'm in this spot right now socially/professionally and I'm very curious what input, questions, resources, experiences you lovely people have with this.

(Restarting PU pretty soon. Power awareness and utilization is definitely an area for improvement.)

Lucio Buffalmano, ZenDancer and leaderoffun have reacted to this post.

#2 · January 22, 2022, 5:40 pm

For what it's worth, falling down and making mistakes is a necessary part of self-development and the journey to empowerment, as least IMO.... I don't know that I've every learned anything significant from getting something right the first time I tried it... as Samuel Beckett said 'try, fail, try again, fail better'...

Lucio Buffalmano, Mist1102 and 2 other users have reacted to this post.

#3 · January 22, 2022, 7:40 pm

Yeah, that's a very specific topic you ask for, I don't think there are any books specifically on that.

Also I've never heard anything about "falling stars" before PU mentioned the phenomenon and the political risks around them.

So how to get back up depends a lot on your specific circumstances, like:

how was your previous reputation build
how did people see you
what did you do
how did people see you after the status damaging event(s)
who took offense the most
...

Generally speaking though, I'd say:

Stay the course, focus on doing well, don't rush it.

There's a ton of things you can do to speed up the trust-rebuilding process, but one of them is to simply have some patience and trust that your (work) ethics, personality and values -which must include honesty, especially after a fall- will eventually get you back up.

Then, once you do, you can all look back and laugh at "that time when you fucked up and people even had the gall of doubting you".

Then you can even pull a power move on them as the cherry on top and say "my friends, you got lucky, I almost quit on you that day you doubted me (and smile)".

Mist1102 has reacted to this post.

Community, new content and Confidence University now available here.

#4 · January 22, 2022, 8:08 pm

Quote from ZenDancer on January 22, 2022, 5:40 pm
For what it's worth, falling down and making mistakes is a necessary part of self-development and the journey to empowerment, as least IMO.... I don't know that I've every learned anything significant from getting something right the first time I tried it... as Samuel Beckett said 'try, fail, try again, fail better'...

Yeah, great higher-level outlook.

Man, that nickname I think suits you well: you've been dropping a lot of gold from that "higher-level frame".

Mist1102 has reacted to this post.

Community, new content and Confidence University now available here.

#5 · February 5, 2022, 2:12 pm

Quote from Mist1102 on February 5, 2022, 2:12 pm
Quote from ZenDancer on January 22, 2022, 5:40 pm
For what it's worth, falling down and making mistakes is a necessary part of self-development and the journey to empowerment, as least IMO.... I don't know that I've every learned anything significant from getting something right the first time I tried it... as Samuel Beckett said 'try, fail, try again, fail better'...
Very true! Sadly not everyone in our world is so graceful and even with this internalized the tole a very public failure does is not too fun. Micro-scale view.
To keep it in a large perspective the world is very big way bigger than whatever you think the largest thing in your world is. I know big time that I can leave my circle and environment and it's a whole other world of people who don't know me or my history.
I guess going back micro I just have some neediness and a part of me that feels captured in the eyes of others. Perhaps victim mentality, confirmation bias for things that show inferiority, and a part of me that wants freedom from responsibility.
Some things I'll have to grow out of if I want to fly with the eagles and give myself grace during the journey.
Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on January 22, 2022, 7:40 pm
Yeah, that's a very specific topic you ask for, I don't think there are any books specifically on that.
Also I've never heard anything about "falling stars" before PU mentioned the phenomenon and the political risks around them.
So how to get back up depends a lot on your specific circumstances, like:
how was your previous reputation build
how did people see you
what did you do
how did people see you after the status damaging event(s)
who took offense the most
...
Generally speaking though, I'd say:
Stay the course, focus on doing well, don't rush it.
There's a ton of things you can do to speed up the trust-rebuilding process, but one of them is to simply have some patience and trust that your (work) ethics, personality and values -which must include honesty, especially after a fall- will eventually get you back up.
Then, once you do, you can all look back and laugh at "that time when you fucked up and people even had the gall of doubting you".
Then you can even pull a power move on them as the cherry on top and say "my friends, you got lucky, I almost quit on you that day you doubted me (and smile)".
I'll definitely look into trust rebuilding.
Rebuilding integrity is the first priority.
I'll also seek to internalize "my friends, you got lucky, I almost quit on you that day you doubted me (and smile)" as in my heart of heart I don't believe the people in my environment are bad people. They're human and there are power dynamics, but that's life.
We're all human. I guess I'm learning to stop being disappointed when I'm one instead of whatever my brain expects me to be.
Git gud, scrub prevails once again haha.

Quote from ZenDancer on January 22, 2022, 5:40 pm
For what it's worth, falling down and making mistakes is a necessary part of self-development and the journey to empowerment, as least IMO.... I don't know that I've every learned anything significant from getting something right the first time I tried it... as Samuel Beckett said 'try, fail, try again, fail better'...

Very true! Sadly not everyone in our world is so graceful and even with this internalized the tole a very public failure does is not too fun. Micro-scale view.

To keep it in a large perspective the world is very big way bigger than whatever you think the largest thing in your world is. I know big time that I can leave my circle and environment and it's a whole other world of people who don't know me or my history.

I guess going back micro I just have some neediness and a part of me that feels captured in the eyes of others. Perhaps victim mentality, confirmation bias for things that show inferiority, and a part of me that wants freedom from responsibility.

Some things I'll have to grow out of if I want to fly with the eagles and give myself grace during the journey.

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on January 22, 2022, 7:40 pm
Yeah, that's a very specific topic you ask for, I don't think there are any books specifically on that.
Also I've never heard anything about "falling stars" before PU mentioned the phenomenon and the political risks around them.
So how to get back up depends a lot on your specific circumstances, like:
how was your previous reputation build
how did people see you
what did you do
how did people see you after the status damaging event(s)
who took offense the most
...
Generally speaking though, I'd say:
Stay the course, focus on doing well, don't rush it.
There's a ton of things you can do to speed up the trust-rebuilding process, but one of them is to simply have some patience and trust that your (work) ethics, personality and values -which must include honesty, especially after a fall- will eventually get you back up.
Then, once you do, you can all look back and laugh at "that time when you fucked up and people even had the gall of doubting you".
Then you can even pull a power move on them as the cherry on top and say "my friends, you got lucky, I almost quit on you that day you doubted me (and smile)".

I'll definitely look into trust rebuilding.

Rebuilding integrity is the first priority.

I'll also seek to internalize "my friends, you got lucky, I almost quit on you that day you doubted me (and smile)" as in my heart of heart I don't believe the people in my environment are bad people. They're human and there are power dynamics, but that's life.

We're all human. I guess I'm learning to stop being disappointed when I'm one instead of whatever my brain expects me to be.

Git gud, scrub prevails once again haha.

Lucio Buffalmano has reacted to this post.