Feedback discussion for recent thread of Modi hugging Trump thread
I got a feedback from @lucio that the thread felt like a covert question.
Is it the
"Feel free to express any other counters to Trump handshake move." part that made it look covert?
Would it be better to ask "What are your thoughts on this?" ?
I will share my thoughts meanwhile before Lucio comes in.
I think it largely depends on your intention
- Do you want to express your opinion?
- Do you want to find out other people's thoughts?
- Do you want to start a discussion?
I think it depends on how much value your post contains.
If you give a good breakdown, people will think you're sharing your knowledge.
If your breakdown and conclusion are vague, people may think that you want their opinion.
I realised even if your breakdown is excellent, it's good to ask a question to engage others.
The vibe is a bit different though as it becomes an invitation to a discussion.
These are my analysis of this situation.
What are your thoughts on this?
If you have little or no clue about the subject, it's good to phrase the question in a way that gives a lot more credit to the person asking.
What are you thoughts on this?
It would help me to understand the situation better.
Sometimes I do a "stack" to avoid any ambiguity.
What are your thoughts on this? (lets the other person get credit)
Feel free to leave any comments on this. (protects the person's freedom from having to answer)
Thank you for your time regardless. (gives the person credit for taking the time to read your post)
What do you think?
What Matthew says, plus, have you checked the definition and example?
It's a covert question when you want to get someone's input because you're not sure, but the question is framed in a way that:
- Hides your request for insight / knowledge (your ask)
- Hides your ignorance -or "not being sure"- on the topic (to maintain power)
The issue with that if anyone replies to covert questions, they get no credit, because you never made the "ask" official and you're hiding your willingness to learn. Which means, you're not going to give proper credit to them -like "I never asked, I kinda knew... ".
So that makes people less willing and less likely to help.
Of course, they won't process the way I just did, but they'll still process it subconsciously, and act accordingly -or, at least, the matchers and takers will withhold replying while the "givers" might still give because that's what they do, but "pure givers" are a minority-.
Clear now?
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What they said. And you don't want to build that as a habit. Don't be that guy who says: of course..., obviously but... everyone does that.... etc. Nobody wants to hang with that guy.
Instead acknowledge value of what people have shared, ask questions politely, add little tails to people s stories, bring quiet people back into the conversation etc.
OFF-TOPIC
When people say "I'll let you know" or "Let me know when.... " is it a tasking sort of power move?
If yes then how to reempower oneself and what would be a better way to phrase it?
Quote from Transitioned on December 27, 2021, 10:36 pmWhat they said. And you don't want to build that as a habit. Don't be that guy who says: of course..., obviously but... everyone does that.... etc. Nobody wants to hang with that guy.
Instead acknowledge value of what people have shared, ask questions politely, add little tails to people s stories, bring quiet people back into the conversation etc.
I feel like what was said here paints me as someone who says "of course, obviously, etc" and doesn't do the "bring quiet people back into the conversation, tails to people's stories, etc".
I think a better way would have been to list the value taking activities without making it feel directed to me.
I would have rephrased it as
"What they said and apart from that I have noticed people sometimes use 'examples of value taking activities' which makes them an unpleasant person.
Instead many things like 'list of value adding activities' makes someone more high value or a pleasant person"
This feels less directed.
What do you think?
Yea I think that's a fair call. Your version is much better. Mine was a quick sound bite comparing the 2 hypothetical guys. It needed more bridging back to the topic being discussed. I can see how it might have been interpreted as pointed. Apologies for any offense and I ll stay off your threads
Quote from Transitioned on December 29, 2021, 6:39 amYea I think that's a fair call. Your version is much better. Mine was a quick sound bite comparing the 2 hypothetical guys. It needed more bridging back to the topic being discussed. I can see how it might have been interpreted as pointed. Apologies for any offense and I ll stay off your threads
No offense taken. I can see now that there was a misunderstanding.
Anyways feel free to share your thoughts on any threads I start, it's totally upto you.
I welcome feedbacks and opinions from everyone and only when we continue to give each other our honest opinions and feedbacks without holding back can we grow and have a fair exchange.