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Frame control: dominate the frame, with kindness
In frame control techniques we reviewed the "dominant frame control" as an option to impose your frame.
Contrary to what the name suggest, imposing your frame does not always and necessarily entail aggression or escalation.
One can still impose his frame with dogged perseverance still being kind and while still trying to preserve rapport -or, at least, while still being neutral-.
See here an example:
Him: I couldn't hear your question (such a terrible excuse, never do that!!)
Her: Let me repeat the question
Him: No, that's OK, let's move to another question
Her: Right... Because I'm actually curious (and then goes back to her previous question)
Notice that the "right" seems like she is agreeing with him, and respecting his opinion and she is going to obey.
But she goes back to the original question, just paraphrased a different way.
This is great because it doesn't sound like she is imposing, so she doesn't end up looking badly -especially considering she's a woman and people are particularly unkind towards aggressive women-.
But he does end up looking like a shifty, conniving, game-playing man. That video has been viewed by millions of people, looking great for her, and terribly for him.
This technique is perfect for business settings, international diplomacy, journalists... Or whenever you're down on power and/or you want to make the receiver look shifty and crooked while you still look neutral and cooperative.
This is an example from Social Power.
