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Frame control: The "Plain Disagreement" ("I just don't feel that way")

Franzese: I don't believe that it's my job to go around and help the government to put people in jail. I don't believe that, I don't think scripture demands that
Interviewer: (with cheeky "I know better" expression) Why not, it seems the right thing to do, whether a scripture says it or not
Franzese: You know what Bill, I honestly don't feel that way

Simple, and effective.

It's been a while that I thought about adding a couple more frame control techniques, and find this great example here.

Might call it "plain disagreeing".

Nothing fancy, just simply saying "I disagree with that", or anything similar.

It's powerful because it ends the discussion.
No appeal to a higher authority, no fancy footwork, and no back and forth.
Whatever the other person says, you can always come back to your simple "I (still) disagree".

Very assertive, very high power, and potentially also very respectful if you do it the right way.

selffriend has reacted to this post.
Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?

Just one cent: in early dating dynamics, the connection is so fragile that this strong disagreement might kill all rapports. Of course,  if you are good at rebuilding connection, then this powermove would be OK; I am not one of those high EQ guys like you who are skillful in social connections.

I used to say things similar to this: I disapprove of what you saybut I will defend to the death your right to say it.

I was not fully aware of the rationale behind this line, and I am not sure if it is a good line. Based on my recent studies in power dynamics, this line seems to put myself in the role of "constitutional ruler", which might be one of the judge role. Moreover, not much rapport is killed.

Or it could be even softener, like: "I disagreed but I can feel what you feel, I respect your value, and I understand your..."

Lucio Buffalmano has reacted to this post.
Lucio Buffalmano
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