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Frenemy ladder climbing

I am sure many here know of situations dealing with frenemies. Handling them requires a lot of social calibration and any wrong move can make you seem like a jealous or aggressive person.

 

A particular situation which is tricky to handle is when the frenemy speaks of his achievement and asks you about yours in the same field which he/she knows you haven't achieved in as much as him/her.

 

Example :-

Frenemy - I have visited 25 countries and it was such an experience etc, How many have you visited "your name"? (This is when the person knows you have barely travelled outside your own country)

 

Frenemy - I have been driving a sorts car which I recently bought, Have you ever owned one " your name"? (This when he knows you don't have a simple car).

Above are general examples of what I am talking about. How would you handle these situations? Because you speaking about your achievements makes you seem lower value compared to the frenemy.

Matthew Whitewood has reacted to this post.
Matthew Whitewood

Quick thoughts.

You can choose your own frame entirely.

Frenemy - I have visited 25 countries and it was such an experience etc, How many have you visited "your name"? (This is when the person knows you have barely travelled outside your own country)

You: Great to hear that. Right now I'm focused on studying power dynamics.

For the car, if you don't really like cars, you can give the reason.

For me, I would say something like

Frenemy - I have been driving a sports car which I recently bought, Have you ever owned one " your name"? (This when he knows you don't have a simple car).

You: Well done. I'm cutting back my expenditure.

When you set strong goals for yourself, it helps in frame control too.
You can express yourself strongly on topics.

Above are general examples of what I am talking about. How would you handle these situations? Because you speaking about your achievements makes you seem lower value compared to the frenemy.

The issue here is that you are mentally measuring your achievements from the frenemy's yardstick.
Travel + Car = Success

You can choose
Self Development + Business = Success
Or whatever floats your boat :).

Lucio Buffalmano and Transitioned have reacted to this post.
Lucio BuffalmanoTransitioned
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