Please or Register to create posts and topics.

Getting annoyed gets me anti-social proof again!

I was over at my moms house today and we decided to go play pool. She lives at a senior gated community. We were playing in the pool room at the club house. I missed a shot got angry and slammed the chalk down on the table. She gets angry tells me we are leaving. In my opinion a huge over reaction. (This was very ant-social proof and make me look badly) So as we are packing up our stuff a couple comes out of the gym and very intentionally wave hello to my mom and not me (covert agression saw the situation unfold from the gym). As we are pulling out driving away a separate couple on the smoking patio were staring very rudely  stare at us intentionally at us as we were driving off (covert aggression again)

Getting angry always causes the vultures to come out and prey. Any tips for avoiding this in the future and tips on handling things gracefully socially. Seems like people are making deliberate power  moves when I get angry for some reason. I do not really understand why this always occurs I am not a very angry person and almost never get angry.

Edit: this is just a example to demonstrate a common sticking point. this happens every time I show irritability etc.

Hey Jack,

It's very difficult to advise from this description.

So first of all, check out the forum guidelines in my signature.

It's not just about this topic, properly communicating your circumstances makes you more effective socially, and in life.

In this case what would have helped:

  • Dialogues with formatting
  • Focusing on the "crucial passages", and describing them:
    • Why did you get angry? Because you missed a shot? Because your mother cheated? For no reason... ?
    • What did you say when you got angry? Did you raise your voice by a lot, did you curse, did you get aggressive towards someone?
    • What was the initial reaction: did it cause a commotion and people stopped and stared, was your mom potentially embarrassed?
  • Do you know the couple that greeted your mother well? Because if you don't, it might be more OK that they say hello to your mother and not to you

So keep in mind I'm really in the dark here.

And from my ignorant position, I'll pick this angle because it's the one that has the highest potential of being useful:

Tough Love Answer

If I have to give you some tough love, I'm not sure we're dealing with vultures here.

Going by your description, people who had a negative reaction:

  1. Your mother
  2. The first couple (2 people)
  3. The second couple (2 people)

Total, 5 people with a negative reaction within a very short timespan.

When you call them vultures, it also makes me wonder if you might be antagonizing people a bit too strongly, or taking things too much personally, turning (internally) hostile, and not taking any steps to mend things.

I might be very far off the mark with this reply.
But it's something you should at least consider. has reacted to this post.
Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?

Yeah I have considered it. The dialogue was exactly as described. But I don't know the people have never done or did anything to the people (my mom did not  know them either). Which is whey the title of the post is what it is... (Irritability is anti-socail proof)

(Me getting frustrated with my playing. slam down chalk and shake head)

Mom: Ok ENOUGH were going home.

Me: What?...I didn't do anything.


Me: OK lets go

Mom: No we will finish the game first!!

Me: fine



I feel like others are freely able to express themselves however people feel very uncomfortable with me expressing myself freely

But since no one is going to give any. I will just simply utilize my  best social skills at all times. It works.

No worries I guess I just have to accept that my demeanor does not permit me to get angry without blow back from poeple