Quote from John Freeman on February 2, 2021, 5:34 am

Hello guys,

Experience

There is this friend housemate R. He's wondering if he should stay a teacher in the private sector or to get a diploma to go in the public sector. I have a trusted friend who works in both sectors. The most difficult one to get in is the public sector. You also have more stability, more holiday and more status. In short, in most aspects it's a better job. It's debatable but on the long term, I think it is.

I proposed housemate R. to connect him with my teacher friend who's more advanced so he can ask him question about how to get in the public sector.

I asked my teacher friend (also called R., not wanting to introduce confusion) if I could give housemate R. his contact. As a cool guy, he agreed.

Housemate R. did not call my teacher friend.

The other day, I was talking to teacher friend R. and he told me about it. I could hear a little bit of disappointment/surprise. He said it was all good and I believe him.

Analysis

So, through me housemate R. took some value from teacher friend R who did not ask for nothing. Also, he removed credibility from me towards my friend.

It was my mistake as I tried to give value to housemate R. to get more status. That was at the time I was fighting for the leadership.

Behavior

I'm considering asking him why he did not call my friend. I think this what I'm going to do. I'm going to ask him neutrally without any judgment. And then let him know that my friend was waiting for his call. Without guilt-tripping him, but assertively anyway. It's his birthday next Saturday so I'll ask him.

Like this while speaking about another topic: "Hey, this reminds me the other day I was talking with friend teacher and he told me you did not call him. I'm just curious why. Was there something wrong?"

I don't want to put pressure on him as it would be like: "take what I give you or I'll punish you".

What do you think is the best behavior?