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Giving credit: a strategy to make friends, allies, & increase reputationit

A couple of years ago I was at a bigg-ish event going through some training and presentations.

Sitting next to me was Sarah, a lovely lady from Denmark.
As the facilitator invited us to chip in with our ideas, Sarah whispered something in my ear which I thought was very intelligent and could add much value to the discussion.
I told her that much.
Then I raised my hand and said something like this:

Me: Yeah, on that topic, I was talking to Sarah here, and she said something which I think is very smart (this is an attention grabber and a powerful communication tool: now everyone's listening attentively).
(now pointing towards Sarah with open palms up)
She said that... (introduced her idea)
Which makes a lot of sense, since... (added my own piece)
(ended the comment)

When I pointed towards Sarah, I also turned towards her, as if to say "this is all her stuff, she's the real source of the idea".
I made it a point to go the extra mile to make sure everyone knew the original idea was coming from her, not me.

Figuratively speaking, it's as if I was channeling that spotlight of attention through me, and towards her.

There is a lot of power in channeling spotlights.
You are the one who shines that light, and you decide where to send it.

Indeed, the thing about sharing credit is that when you share credit, you are going to take some credit anyway.
As the person who is speaking and talking up, you get your name around, you become a linchpin in the discussion, and people will remember your name and your face.
And when you're the very first one to speak in any meeting, that's also a sign of confidence and comfort with one's own skin.

So, since you are taking major social points anyway, hogging all the credit when you are taking credit anyway, is a true asshole move.

Sharing credit when credit is due is the only possible win-win solution and the only available option for anyone aspiring to be a high-quality leader.

The credit you will not gain for "creative thinker" or "intelligence" you will more than makeup in "leadership" and "values and ethics", which everyone appreciates in a leader.
The social points are also huge. The person you are giving credit will think you're a class act. And everyone around will think you're a class act.

And you are acting like a class act: being a high-value person, helping the people around also look good.

Almost Two Years Later...

Now, almost two years later, look at what happened.

I  wrote on my FB that I was going to be quarantined for two weeks and posted a couple of pictures about the facility, which I thought were interesting for people to see.

Soon after, I receive two messages about "introductions" for me in Seoul:

Guess who it was?
It was Sarah, the lady who was sitting next to me on that day when I gave her the credit she was due.

What a class act she is.
And that's the thing about warmth and power: you act like a class act, and you attract other class acts in your life.
That's how you form a circle of uplifting and high-quality people around you.

Public Credit: 10x the Power

The smart player will also take the chance to give credit publicly.

Public credit means that more people can take note of his high ethics and morals.
And if he is indeed a fair player, then this is not Machiavellian or manipulative, but it's simply smart strategizing for life.

Public creadit will not just make a friend or an ally, but will also boost one's "social status" and "social trust".

The Power of Networks: Stay on Social Media

By the way, this is also one of the reasons why I totally disagree with self-help authors who recommend people to quit social media

The reason many of them cite is one of the two:

  1. they are a waste of time
  2. they make you feel bad because people use social media to brag.

My answer to that is that if you feel bad because someone is posting a picture of their holiday, then you need to work on yourself, not on cutting out people who are celebrating life (and if they are incorrigible attention whores, just unfollow them).
And if you are wasting time on social media... The same as the above. You need to work on your routines and schedules, not on eliminating all potential sources of time waste.

Social media can be a tremendous source of influence and power, ranging from business and personal marketing, to acquiring intelligence, to meeting new people, to staying in touch with older friends to, as well, finding dates, sexual trysts, and relationships.
Social media is people. And people are power. The more you can get along -and leverage- people, the better off you are.

Matthew Whitewood, John Freeman and Stef have reacted to this post.
Matthew WhitewoodJohn FreemanStef
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great original, empowering take on social media, I loved it!

Hello guys,

I have a question regarding credit.

The other day, the owner of the bar where I’m a regular offered me the 3 beers I ordered at closing times. They were destined to me and a couple of friends.

When they said “thank you“ I did not say “oh it’s the owner who offered them to me”. Because actually I would have paid for them anyway so they are “mine” in a way. I was also concerned (paranoid I know): what if he overheard me?

What do you think? Was it fair for me to attribute the gift as coming from me or should I have said it was coming from the owner?


Personally, I would have said it first thing, as something to be celebrated for.

As soon as you arrived at the table with the drinks, something like this:

Them: thank you
You: Cheers guys! (you're still accepting the "thank you") Actually, I was just about to get these, but the owners offered them to us. Such a cool guy.

When you accept the thank you make it more about providing the drinks in general, and less about who's paid for them -you still went to the bar and took them to the table-.
And whether or not you paid for the round, well... A detail.

That's the mindset of people who live in financial abundance, and that's only partially connected to how much money one truly has -same for sexual abundance after all, as we were talking about in another topic some time ago-.

And when you turn it into a small celebration for the table, you bring some good mood, raise the status of the group, and also raise your status, since it was offered to you.

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