Former Community – We Moved
🆕 Coached community here, for posts & feedback public community here.
Group leader criticizes me publicly in the group chat
Guys,
Here is the comment in a Group. I am one of the 2 guys that's it's aimed at.
I'll tell you what I think right after.
Group leader: To summarize the evening: we go from 13 guys signed up to 9 guys who find themselves in a losing situation 15 min before the game.
It's obvious: anyone can meet troubles (car breakdown, injury, etc), but in my opinion, playing 5x5 (instead of 6x6) is not an "Excuse" that justifies to let the 9 guys who show up alone.
I don't blame anyone since 2 of us (1 is me) had this thinking tonight.
Thanks to respect the "efforts" that everyone is doing to play together since over 10 years.
Clarification:
So I play football on Wed., I was introduced to the group by my brother. It's the leader of the group wrote this email.
Tonight, my brother dropped because of a car issue. He was supposed to pick me up. Someone else could have picked me up, but I told my brother I don't want to play 5x5.
Another guy dropped because he didn't want to play 5x5 neither.
So the guys who showed up at the game were 9. It's impossible to play 4x5.
They called me to ask me to join, I told them I could come to support, but someone had to pick me up cause I had no car. They did not come cause they were already far.
Problem:
The group leader is criticizing me in front of everybody.
Solution:
1/ Ignore.
2/ Push back. Showdown.
Me: I don't think it's an "excuse" to be honest, and I find the critic a a little bit unfair and inappropriate, especially in a chat group. Anyway, sorry for the guys who showed up. Next time I'll prepare a back up plan when my driver drops, and I'll also make sure there is enough players when I drop.
Cheers,
3/ Is this guy a social climber?
Technically, no, he's not a social climber because he's already on top.
And I wouldn't classify that as social climbing either.
But we go back to the labels that matter less than the overall effect: he is still disempowering you.
So I'd personally push back, yes.
Either privately with him, or in the group chat.
I'd rephrase to something like:
I agree it's not cool that 9 people showed up and I agree with the general concept.
However, given the circumstances, I find this message unfair.
(...)
Of it you wanna go higher power, invert:
Frankly, I find this message unfair.
I agree it's not cool that 9 people showed up and I agree with the general concept.
But it's an unfair criticism given the circumstances. It's not like I can fly there. Also, I was ready and willing to show up and asked for someone to pick me up.
P.S.:
Changed the title.
Try to make those titles more descriptive, Mathieu.
